The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/14/07
Season 3 • 03/14/2007
Stephen gives you too much information on the NCAA tournament.
Time TravelThe Colbert ReportS3
Scientists claim that time travel is impossible; Stephen proves them wrong by traveling forward in time.
The Word - GoodnightThe Colbert ReportS3
Tonight's Word is about the only thing Stephen has time for.
Donald ShieldsThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Donald Shields talks about the firing of eight U.S. attorneys. According to Stephen, they should have pleasured the president.
Intro - 3/13/07The Colbert ReportS3
The firing of eight U.S. attorneys, America's biggest movie and guest Michael Eric Dyson -- tonight on The Report.
Sport Report - NCAAThe Colbert ReportS3
Speaking of non-drug-related euphoria, Stephen is simply mentally unbalanced about March Madness.
Sign Off - United We LickThe Colbert ReportS3
Although Stephen can't enjoy his ice cream until Lent ends, his famous friends can.
When Ancestors Attack - Barack ObamaThe Colbert ReportS3
Remember -- John F. Kennedy's presidential chances were almost spoiled when questions were asked about his heritage
The Word - High FidelityThe Colbert ReportS3
Upset you got fired, U.S. Attorneys? That's what unemployment insurance is for.
Rocky Mountain HighThe Colbert ReportS3
As an avid outdoorsman, Stephen understands that Rocky Mountain High is not about drugs.
Ed ViestursThe Colbert ReportS3
Ed Viesturs agrees to plant a Colbert Report flag on top of Mount Everest the next time he goes.
Intro - 3/14/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen talks to Ed Viesturs about climbing Mount Everest, and Bush draws increasing criticism for trying to install his own people as U.S. Attorneys.
Ayaan Hirsi AliThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Ayaan Hirsi Ali if fundamentalist Christians should battle fundamentalist Muslims.
St. Patrick's DayThe Colbert ReportS3
St. Patrick's Day can't go on now that geneticists have discovered that the English and the Irish are a single people.
Sign Off - CandyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen plans out a sweet dreamscape for his loyal audience.
Intro - 3/15/07The Colbert ReportS3
In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to Ayaan Hirsi Ali about fundamentalist Islam, and President Bush returns from his trip to Latin America.
Better Know a District - Illinois' 17th - Phil HareThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen takes his vitamin E -- a couple of caplets in the mouth keeps the blood flow going south.
Emanuel Attacks StephenThe Colbert ReportS3
Congressman Rahm Emanuel tells freshman students to avoid Stephen, and Stephen fights back by offering the congressman a severed finger.
Alpha Dog of the Week - PenniesThe Colbert ReportS3
After getting charged triple the amount of his normal electric bill, Robert Hancock paid the damage in pennies and is thus named Alpha Dog of the Week.
Willie Nelson TomorrowThe Colbert ReportS3
In anticipation of Willie Nelson's appearance on The Report, Stephen speaks out against Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler ice cream and promotes Americone Dream.
Jerome GroopmanThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Jerome Groopman discusses "How Doctors Think" and explains that Dr. Gregory House is based on Sherlock Holmes, who was addicted to cocaine, not heroine.
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