The Colbert Report

The Enemy Within - Cane Fu

Season 5 • 06/22/2009

Mark Shuey teaches senior citizens how to kill with his Cane Fu combat system.

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05:25

Bears & Balls - Tobacco, Project Natal & Graveyard Bids
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama outlaws flavored cigarettes, Microsoft introduces Project Natal, and a graveyard accepts bids.
06/18/2009
00:30

Intro - 6/18/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Someone finally agrees to accept Gitmo detainees, and Stephen nails poet Paul Muldoon.
06/18/2009
04:55

Paul Muldoon
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Muldoon and Stephen recite "Tea" together to help it become the number one poem in America.
06/18/2009
00:14

Sign Off - Law & Order Preview
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen thanks Jeff Goldblum for stopping by and reveals a little preview of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent."
06/18/2009
03:52

Murder in the White House - Jeff Goldblum
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Goldblum demands an apology from Barack Obama for his brutal act of violence against a fly.
06/18/2009
00:18

Sign Off - Stephen Suffers, Too
The Colbert ReportS5

Once the audience leaves, Stephen waits in the chair till the next show starts.
06/22/2009
00:24

Intro - 6/22/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen suggests punching randomly until we find the enemy among us, and Simon Schama writes a history of the future of America.
06/22/2009
02:03

The Smell of Freedom - Jeff Goldblum
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Goldblum stands up for Zicam because nobody can take away the sweet smell of freedom.
06/22/2009
06:45

Simon Schama
The Colbert ReportS5

Simon Schama admits that out of all the countries' histories he's covered, the United States has the greatest.
06/22/2009
05:08

Zicam Recall
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen doesn't understand why the FDA would crack down on an unregulated heavy metal that you spray in your nose and can cause permanent damage.
06/22/2009
04:39

The Enemy Within - Cane Fu
The Colbert ReportS5

Like a danger pig rooting out fear truffles, Stephen profiles Mark Shuey, creator of the Cane Fu combat system turning America's seniors into killing machines.
06/22/2009
02:14

America's Health Plan-Demic
The Colbert ReportS5

The House Republicans' health care reform plan is practical in that it's practically three pages long and has no numbers.
06/23/2009
04:16

Governor Alert - The Search for Mark Sanford
The Colbert ReportS5

As his first act as governor of South Carolina, Stephen calls off the search for Mark Sanford.
06/23/2009
03:07

Barack Obama's Response to Iran
The Colbert ReportS5

Critics call for President Obama to get involved in the Iranian elections, boldly and loudly, with the fist of the Statue of Liberty.
06/23/2009
04:21

America's Health Plan-Demic - Howard Dean
The Colbert ReportS5

Howard Dean believes the American government can pay for a public health insurance option because it will generate more jobs.
06/23/2009
05:59

David Kilcullen
The Colbert ReportS5

David Kilcullen fights wars by taking a local approach to combat smaller guerrilla movements.
06/23/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
06/23/2009
00:29

Intro - 6/24/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.
06/24/2009
05:05

Sport Report - Soccer, Tennis & Brett Favre
The Colbert ReportS5

The U.S. soccer team beats Spain, Wimbledon fights match fixing, and Brett Favre wants to join the Minnesota Vikings.
06/24/2009
07:19

Matthew Crawford
The Colbert ReportS5

Matthew Crawford explores the dichotomy between "knowledge" work and manual labor.
06/24/2009
00:33

Sign Off - Random GPS Coordinate Lottery
The Colbert ReportS5

If you're at latitude 37.718 and longitude negative 102.656, you've won Stephen's random GPS coordinate lottery.
06/24/2009
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