The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 06/22/2009
Simon Schama believes America's future is bright.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bears & Balls - Tobacco, Project Natal & Graveyard Bids
President Obama outlaws flavored cigarettes, Microsoft introduces Project Natal, and a graveyard accepts bids.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 6/18/09
Someone finally agrees to accept Gitmo detainees, and Stephen nails poet Paul Muldoon.
The Colbert ReportS5 Paul Muldoon
Paul Muldoon and Stephen recite "Tea" together to help it become the number one poem in America.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Law & Order Preview
Stephen thanks Jeff Goldblum for stopping by and reveals a little preview of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent."
The Colbert ReportS5 Murder in the White House - Jeff Goldblum
Jeff Goldblum demands an apology from Barack Obama for his brutal act of violence against a fly.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Stephen Suffers, Too
Once the audience leaves, Stephen waits in the chair till the next show starts.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 6/22/09
Stephen suggests punching randomly until we find the enemy among us, and Simon Schama writes a history of the future of America.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Smell of Freedom - Jeff Goldblum
Jeff Goldblum stands up for Zicam because nobody can take away the sweet smell of freedom.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Enemy Within - Cane Fu
Like a danger pig rooting out fear truffles, Stephen profiles Mark Shuey, creator of the Cane Fu combat system turning America's seniors into killing machines.
The Colbert ReportS5 Zicam Recall
Stephen doesn't understand why the FDA would crack down on an unregulated heavy metal that you spray in your nose and can cause permanent damage.
The Colbert ReportS5 Simon Schama
Simon Schama admits that out of all the countries' histories he's covered, the United States has the greatest.
The Colbert ReportS5 America's Health Plan-Demic
The House Republicans' health care reform plan is practical in that it's practically three pages long and has no numbers.
The Colbert ReportS5 Governor Alert - The Search for Mark Sanford
As his first act as governor of South Carolina, Stephen calls off the search for Mark Sanford.
The Colbert ReportS5 Barack Obama's Response to Iran
Critics call for President Obama to get involved in the Iranian elections, boldly and loudly, with the fist of the Statue of Liberty.
The Colbert ReportS5 America's Health Plan-Demic - Howard Dean
Howard Dean believes the American government can pay for a public health insurance option because it will generate more jobs.
The Colbert ReportS5 David Kilcullen
David Kilcullen fights wars by taking a local approach to combat smaller guerrilla movements.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 6/24/09
The Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Soccer, Tennis & Brett Favre
The U.S. soccer team beats Spain, Wimbledon fights match fixing, and Brett Favre wants to join the Minnesota Vikings.
The Colbert ReportS5 Matthew Crawford
Matthew Crawford explores the dichotomy between "knowledge" work and manual labor.
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