The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Pocketbook Constitution

Season 9 • 01/14/2013

Stephen flips through the Constitution.

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06:18

Thought for Food - Wheat Addictions
The Colbert ReportS9

America gets hooked on a new substance that's just as addictive as crack: a loaf of bread.
01/09/2013
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03:00

Roadside Sofa Boning
The Colbert ReportS9

A 46-year-old man is arrested for having sex with a couch, so public schools start teaching safe sex with plastic slipcovers.
01/10/2013
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03:43

Benjamin Gibbard
The Colbert ReportS9

The lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie discusses his relatively universal solo album, "Former Lives."
01/10/2013
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05:19

Obama's Failed Second Term
The Colbert ReportS9

President Obama is turning out the way white males wanted him to, and Jack Lew's sloppy signature will make America's currency a laughingstock.
01/10/2013
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04:36

Tip/Wag - HAPIfork & Kevin Garnett
The Colbert ReportS9

A consumer technology keeps people from consuming, and Kevin Garnett dishes out some Hefty brand trash talk.
01/10/2013
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02:23

Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Guns as Civil Rights Victims
The Colbert ReportS9

Martin Luther King, Jr. understood that the root of all oppression is lack of firepower while Ted Nugent has long been an inspiration for the civil rights movement.
01/14/2013
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04:41

Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Silver Bullets & Video Games
The Colbert ReportS9

Vice President Joe Biden prepares his recommendations for gun control, while video games, along with Oscar nominees like "Lincoln," glamorize gun violence.
01/14/2013
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05:06

Piers Morgan
The Colbert ReportS9

Piers Morgan, who comes from a place without the Second Amendment, quietly points out England's low gun murder rates.
01/14/2013
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05:23

Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Piers Morgan & James Yeager
The Colbert ReportS9

British journalist Piers Morgan drives on the wrong side of the barrel, and Tactical Response CEO James Yeager protests Obama's upcoming gun grab.
01/14/2013
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02:57

Vitaminwater Advertising Lawsuit
The Colbert ReportS9

What consumer would reasonably think Vitaminwater is healthy just because their labels say it supports immune system health and reduces the risk of chronic disease?
01/14/2013
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00:05

Sign Off - Pocketbook Constitution
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen reads up on the U.S. Constitution.
01/14/2013
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08:03

Monkey on the Lam - Macaque Attack - 1,381 Days of Simian Terror in Tampa
The Colbert ReportS9

When sightings of a hairy humanoid cat-like squirrel beast continued to pile up, Tampa officials knew it was time to call in The Monkey Hunters.
01/15/2013
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00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
01/15/2013
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00:36

Intro - 1/15/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Florida police catch a shirtless fugitive, Stephen profiles exciting new technology, and Jared Diamond shares his book, "The World Until Yesterday."
01/15/2013
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03:28

CataCoffin CataCombo Sound System
The Colbert ReportS9

The CataCoffin is the ultimate underground club, equipped with two-way speakers, tweeters and an eight-inch subwoofer.
01/15/2013
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03:13

Lance Armstrong's Interview with Oprah
The Colbert ReportS9

Oprah sits down with Charlie Rose to give the world her reaction to what she won't tell people Lance said.
01/15/2013
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05:17

Jared Diamond
The Colbert ReportS9

The Pulitzer Prize-winning author talks about his book, "The World Until Yesterday: What Can We Learn from Traditional Societies?"
01/15/2013
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03:08

HSBC Laundering Charges
The Colbert ReportS9

Just to show how sorry they are for funding murder, HSBC decides to partially defer bonus compensation for senior officials.
01/16/2013
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02:21

Healthy Fake Smiles
The Colbert ReportS9

Research suggests that forcing a smile genuinely decreases stress, which makes sense because that Joker guy from "Batman" seemed really chipper.
01/16/2013
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07:38

Tom Brokaw
The Colbert ReportS9

Network news icon Tom Brokaw discredits calls for Obama's impeachment and describes a few of the nine presidents he's covered since JFK.
01/16/2013
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00:35

Intro - 1/16/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Big banks suffer harsh punishment, date nights rekindle romance, and Tom Brokaw talks about President Obama's second term.
01/16/2013
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