The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Pocketbook Constitution

Season 9 • 01/14/2013

Stephen flips through the Constitution.

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06:18

The Colbert ReportS9
Thought for Food - Wheat Addictions

America gets hooked on a new substance that's just as addictive as crack: a loaf of bread.
01/09/2013
03:00

The Colbert ReportS9
Roadside Sofa Boning

A 46-year-old man is arrested for having sex with a couch, so public schools start teaching safe sex with plastic slipcovers.
01/10/2013
03:43

The Colbert ReportS9
Benjamin Gibbard

The lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie discusses his relatively universal solo album, "Former Lives."
01/10/2013
05:19

The Colbert ReportS9
Obama's Failed Second Term

President Obama is turning out the way white males wanted him to, and Jack Lew's sloppy signature will make America's currency a laughingstock.
01/10/2013
04:36

The Colbert ReportS9
Tip/Wag - HAPIfork & Kevin Garnett

A consumer technology keeps people from consuming, and Kevin Garnett dishes out some Hefty brand trash talk.
01/10/2013
02:23

The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Guns as Civil Rights Victims

Martin Luther King, Jr. understood that the root of all oppression is lack of firepower while Ted Nugent has long been an inspiration for the civil rights movement.
01/14/2013
04:41

The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Silver Bullets & Video Games

Vice President Joe Biden prepares his recommendations for gun control, while video games, along with Oscar nominees like "Lincoln," glamorize gun violence.
01/14/2013
05:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan, who comes from a place without the Second Amendment, quietly points out England's low gun murder rates.
01/14/2013
05:23

The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Piers Morgan & James Yeager

British journalist Piers Morgan drives on the wrong side of the barrel, and Tactical Response CEO James Yeager protests Obama's upcoming gun grab.
01/14/2013
02:57

The Colbert ReportS9
Vitaminwater Advertising Lawsuit

What consumer would reasonably think Vitaminwater is healthy just because their labels say it supports immune system health and reduces the risk of chronic disease?
01/14/2013
00:05

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Pocketbook Constitution

Stephen reads up on the U.S. Constitution.
01/14/2013
08:03

The Colbert ReportS9
Monkey on the Lam - Macaque Attack - 1,381 Days of Simian Terror in Tampa

When sightings of a hairy humanoid cat-like squirrel beast continued to pile up, Tampa officials knew it was time to call in The Monkey Hunters.
01/15/2013
00:05

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen says goodnight.
01/15/2013
00:36

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 1/15/13

Florida police catch a shirtless fugitive, Stephen profiles exciting new technology, and Jared Diamond shares his book, "The World Until Yesterday."
01/15/2013
03:28

The Colbert ReportS9
CataCoffin CataCombo Sound System

The CataCoffin is the ultimate underground club, equipped with two-way speakers, tweeters and an eight-inch subwoofer.
01/15/2013
03:13

The Colbert ReportS9
Lance Armstrong's Interview with Oprah

Oprah sits down with Charlie Rose to give the world her reaction to what she won't tell people Lance said.
01/15/2013
05:17

The Colbert ReportS9
Jared Diamond

The Pulitzer Prize-winning author talks about his book, "The World Until Yesterday: What Can We Learn from Traditional Societies?"
01/15/2013
03:08

The Colbert ReportS9
HSBC Laundering Charges

Just to show how sorry they are for funding murder, HSBC decides to partially defer bonus compensation for senior officials.
01/16/2013
02:21

The Colbert ReportS9
Healthy Fake Smiles

Research suggests that forcing a smile genuinely decreases stress, which makes sense because that Joker guy from "Batman" seemed really chipper.
01/16/2013
07:38

The Colbert ReportS9
Tom Brokaw

Network news icon Tom Brokaw discredits calls for Obama's impeachment and describes a few of the nine presidents he's covered since JFK.
01/16/2013
00:35

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 1/16/13

Big banks suffer harsh punishment, date nights rekindle romance, and Tom Brokaw talks about President Obama's second term.
01/16/2013
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