The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 09/04/2013
Telebrands, maker of the Pasta Boat, markets a battery-powered parakeet for lonely people.
The Colbert ReportS9 Stephen's Science Project & Chemical Weapons in Syria
Stephen researches the effects of black truffle fettuccine, and Bashar al-Assad kills more than 1,400 civilians with chemical weapons.
The Colbert ReportS9 Timothy Dolan Pt. 1
Timothy Cardinal Dolan discusses his e-book, "Praying in Rome: Reflections on the Conclave and Electing Pope Francis."
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 9/3/13
Stephen returns from vacation, preps for Better Know a District and welcomes the Archbishop of New York, Timothy Dolan.
The Colbert ReportS9 Timothy Dolan Pt. 2
Timothy Cardinal Dolan talks about Pope Francis' views on homosexuality and elaborate clothing.
The Colbert ReportS9 Better Know a District - Michigan's 5th - Dan Kildee
Freshman Congressman Dan Kildee thinks lesbian Latinas from Minnesota should have all their rights respected in the workplace.
The Colbert ReportS9 Gary England
Meteorologist Gary England locates Tornado Alley on a map and defends residents of Oklahoma.
The Colbert ReportS9 Cris-Ish in Syri-Eh - Steve Coll
Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Steve Coll details President Obama's "limited military action" plan for Syria.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 9/4/13
Congress debates taking action in Syria, technology breeds robotic companions, and meteorologist Gary England knows tornados.
The Colbert ReportS9 Cris-Ish in Syri-Eh
Only 29% of Americans want the U.S. to attack Syria -- which, on the plus side, means that 29% of Americans know there is a place called Syria.
The Colbert ReportS9 Perfect Polly
A plastic parakeet brings retirees all the joy of owning a real parakeet -- like chirping, perching and more chirping.
The Colbert ReportS9 John Prine
Folk legend John Prine recalls his time working as a mailman and explains why he's opposed to twerking.
The Colbert ReportS9 cOlbert's Book Club & The Couch Bunker
Stephen assigns any book by J.D. Salinger except "Catcher in the Rye" and touts the latest product in home protection.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 9/5/13
Christine Quinn and Bill de Blasio vie for New York City mayor, gun owners get good news, and acoustic legend John Prine joins Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS9 Kitten Subway Crisis & The New York City Mayoral Race
Mayoral candidate Joe Lhota goes after the key anti-kitten demographic after two lost kittens shut down America's largest transportation system.
The Colbert ReportS9 Smile File - Ariel Castro & The Eric Bolling Sunshine Express
Fox News' Eric Bolling recommends that more prisoners should hang themselves like Ariel Castro to save taxpayer dollars.
The Colbert ReportS9 Egypt's Stork Bust
With tensions running high in Egypt, everyone suspects everyone else of espionage, including birds.
The Colbert ReportS9 Ronald Reagan on the Syrian Conflict
Conservatives like Bill O'Reilly have an unconditional ability to know what Super Reagan would do at any given time.
The Colbert ReportS9 Billie Jean King
Tennis legend Billie Jean King talks about her 1973 "Battle of the Sexes" match against Bobby Riggs.
The Colbert ReportS9 Tip/Wag - Iowa, Bigger Pants & Recent Articles
Disability rights activists support gun permits for the blind, bigger pants make Stephen feel thinner, and recent articles ruin the fun in dissected human cadavers.
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