The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 09/04/2013
Telebrands, maker of the Pasta Boat, markets a battery-powered parakeet for lonely people.
Stephen's Science Project & Chemical Weapons in SyriaThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen researches the effects of black truffle fettuccine, and Bashar al-Assad kills more than 1,400 civilians with chemical weapons.
Timothy Dolan Pt. 1The Colbert ReportS9
Timothy Cardinal Dolan discusses his e-book, "Praying in Rome: Reflections on the Conclave and Electing Pope Francis."
Intro - 9/3/13The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen returns from vacation, preps for Better Know a District and welcomes the Archbishop of New York, Timothy Dolan.
Timothy Dolan Pt. 2The Colbert ReportS9
Timothy Cardinal Dolan talks about Pope Francis' views on homosexuality and elaborate clothing.
Better Know a District - Michigan's 5th - Dan KildeeThe Colbert ReportS9
Freshman Congressman Dan Kildee thinks lesbian Latinas from Minnesota should have all their rights respected in the workplace.
Gary EnglandThe Colbert ReportS9
Meteorologist Gary England locates Tornado Alley on a map and defends residents of Oklahoma.
Cris-Ish in Syri-Eh - Steve CollThe Colbert ReportS9
Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Steve Coll details President Obama's "limited military action" plan for Syria.
Intro - 9/4/13The Colbert ReportS9
Congress debates taking action in Syria, technology breeds robotic companions, and meteorologist Gary England knows tornados.
Cris-Ish in Syri-EhThe Colbert ReportS9
Only 29% of Americans want the U.S. to attack Syria -- which, on the plus side, means that 29% of Americans know there is a place called Syria.
Perfect PollyThe Colbert ReportS9
A plastic parakeet brings retirees all the joy of owning a real parakeet -- like chirping, perching and more chirping.
John PrineThe Colbert ReportS9
Folk legend John Prine recalls his time working as a mailman and explains why he's opposed to twerking.
cOlbert's Book Club & The Couch BunkerThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen assigns any book by J.D. Salinger except "Catcher in the Rye" and touts the latest product in home protection.
Intro - 9/5/13The Colbert ReportS9
Christine Quinn and Bill de Blasio vie for New York City mayor, gun owners get good news, and acoustic legend John Prine joins Stephen.
Kitten Subway Crisis & The New York City Mayoral RaceThe Colbert ReportS9
Mayoral candidate Joe Lhota goes after the key anti-kitten demographic after two lost kittens shut down America's largest transportation system.
Smile File - Ariel Castro & The Eric Bolling Sunshine ExpressThe Colbert ReportS9
Fox News' Eric Bolling recommends that more prisoners should hang themselves like Ariel Castro to save taxpayer dollars.
Egypt's Stork BustThe Colbert ReportS9
With tensions running high in Egypt, everyone suspects everyone else of espionage, including birds.
Ronald Reagan on the Syrian ConflictThe Colbert ReportS9
Conservatives like Bill O'Reilly have an unconditional ability to know what Super Reagan would do at any given time.
Billie Jean KingThe Colbert ReportS9
Tennis legend Billie Jean King talks about her 1973 "Battle of the Sexes" match against Bobby Riggs.
Tip/Wag - Iowa, Bigger Pants & Recent ArticlesThe Colbert ReportS9
Disability rights activists support gun permits for the blind, bigger pants make Stephen feel thinner, and recent articles ruin the fun in dissected human cadavers.
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