The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 02/15/2007
What is the United Nations other than a bunch of blue-helmeted refugee-huggers?
The Word - Bad MedicineThe Colbert ReportS3
It used to be easy to scare teens into not having sex by saying things like, "It's a sin," "You could have a baby," or "Your parents do it."
Sport Report - Westminster Kennel Club Dog ShowThe Colbert ReportS3
It's the time of the year when the real sports -- like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show -- finally get their share of the spotlight.
Stephen Protects Valentine's DayThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen knows there's no better time to protect the sanctity of marriage than Valentine's Day, so he presents a montage of some of New York's most loving couples.
Intro - 2/14/07The Colbert ReportS3
Political controversy rages over women's health in Texas, Stephen reviews the Westminster Dog Show, and Lance Armstrong explains why he never won the Tour de America.
Catching Up With ChinaThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen said China had three times as many people at America and urged the Nation to procreate. It turns out China has four times more, so the need is even greater.
The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - Candice BergenThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is so keyed up for his being prayed for next week, he just can't stop thinking about it -- so he asks Candice Bergen what her prayer day was like.
Better Know a District - Arkansas' 2nd - Vic SnyderThe Colbert ReportS3
Representative Vic Snyder refuses to donate some of his mustache hairs to help cure little children of their diseases.
Helen Thomas's ChairThe Colbert ReportS3
There's going to be a new chair in the front row of the White House press room, and Fox and Friends wants it -- and Helen Thomas's too.
Intro - 2/15/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen explores the power of prayer, Arkansas's 2nd district, and why former undersecretary of the UN Shashi Tharoor will have to start paying his parking tickets.
The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - J.J. AbramsThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen makes Mastermedia International's list of the 365 most influential cultural figures its members can pray for each day.
Shashi TharoorThe Colbert ReportS3
Shashi Tharoor explains that the UN consists of more than a bunch of blue-helmeted refugee-huggers.
Zev ChafetsThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen and author Zev Chafets get to the bottom of which of the two of them is the most Jewish.
Sign Off - The Stupidest Person in the WorldThe Colbert ReportS3
It's Monday night, and that means one thing -- it's time for The Stupidest Person in the World.
Stephen's Sound Advice - Avoiding Humiliation on the Campaign TrailThe Colbert ReportS3
With more people running for president than ever before, it's never been easier to lose.
Intro - 2/26/07The Colbert ReportS3
The British announce plans to cut and run, Tom Vilsack drops out of the presidential race, and Zev Chafets angles for a Christmas present.
The Word - SuccessThe Colbert ReportS3
The Bush administration views Tony Blair's removal of British troops from Iraq as a sign of the war's success.
Craig VenterThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Dr. Craig Venter to sequence Stephen's genetic code in exchange for the free advertising Venter's getting by being on the show.
Intro - 2/27/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen questions whether assault rifles be used for hunting, Steagle Colbeagle the eagle receives an honor, and guest Dr. Craig Venter discusses genetic engineering.
Dead to Me - RaptorsThe Colbert ReportS3
Steagle Colbeagle is twice the mascot the Toronto Raptor will ever be.
Tip/Wag - BilkThe Colbert ReportS3
Bilk (a combo of milk and beer) is the most blatant example of marketing alcohol to children since St. Pauli baby.
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