The Colbert Report

Alan Schlesinger

Season 2 • 08/16/2006

The latest polls have Alan Schlesinger at six percent, with a margin of error of plus or minus six percent.

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03:01

French Fries
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen is upset that Congress has reversed their greatest accomplishment by changing "freedom fries" back to French fries.
08/14/2006
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05:13

Jon's Apology
The Colbert ReportS2

Jon Stewart becomes the first entry on Stephen's Called Out board before finally walking a mile in Geraldo's mustache.
08/14/2006
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02:07

Peaceland
The Colbert ReportS2

A cease-fire between Hezbollah and Israel brings an end to Stephen's quest for World War III.
08/14/2006
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00:07

Sign Off - E-Mail Password
The Colbert ReportS2

America, rest assured -- Stephen is looking out for you through the Internet.
08/14/2006
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03:45

The Word - El Comandante
The Colbert ReportS2

For Fidel Castro's 80th birthday he got what Stephen's always wanted -- a visit from Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
08/16/2006
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01:46

Let's Make This Happen
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen Colbert surpassed Chuck Norris in votes to name a bridge in Hungary after him.
08/16/2006
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01:01

Sign Off - Historic Hoax
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen offers NASA the use of his studio so they can re-shoot the "moon landing."
08/16/2006
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05:24

Morgan Spurlock
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks Morgan Spurlock why he'd want to know what other people's lives are like.
08/16/2006
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00:33

Intro - 8/16/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen celebrates Fidel Castro, looks back at the Cold War and interviews FX host Morgan Spurlock.
08/16/2006
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02:49

Was It Really That Bad? - Cold War
The Colbert ReportS2

The Berlin Wall provided career-defining moments for President Reagan and German metal band the Scorpions.
08/16/2006
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03:48

Alan Schlesinger
The Colbert ReportS2

The Bush administration is not hanging Senate candidate Alan Schlesinger out to dry -- they are hanging him out to moisten.
08/16/2006
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02:07

Continuity
The Colbert ReportS2

Viewers alert Stephen to the fact that Killer is on a commando mission to rescue Stephen Jr. and couldn't possibly have been on the previous night's show.
08/17/2006
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06:04

Neil Young
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen Colbert and Neil Young get out their guitars.
08/17/2006
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02:43

Better Know a District - California's 31st
The Colbert ReportS2

In California's 31st district, the who's whom do where's when with the why what.
08/17/2006
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00:34

Intro - 8/17/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reports on Pluto, interviews Neil Young, and talks with Hollywood Congressman Javier Becerra.
08/17/2006
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04:16

Better Know a District - California's 31st - Javier Becerra
The Colbert ReportS2

Why does Congressman Javier Becerra wants to translate our American paintings into Spanish?
08/17/2006
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04:19

Neil deGrasse Tyson
The Colbert ReportS2

Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and Stephen Colbert trash talk spheres in the running to be new planets.
08/17/2006
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02:23

Green Screen Challenge - The Announcement
The Colbert ReportS2

The Report starts showing your bold depictions of Stephen's heroic fight.
08/21/2006
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00:32

Intro - 8/21/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reports on drug companies, a British food study and interviews linguist Geoffrey Nunberg.
08/21/2006
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02:14

Atheists in Foxholes
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen recommends shipping atheists to war so they can destroy someone else's society for a change.
08/21/2006
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03:21

The Word - Side Effects
The Colbert ReportS2

Criminals owe a debt to society, so let's put them to work making money for the pharmaceutical industry.
08/21/2006
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