The Colbert Report
ThreatDown - Scottish Surgeons
Season 3 • 07/30/2007
Scottish surgeons grafted skin from sharks onto a failed suicide bomber, leading to a future of shark-terrorist hybrids.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 7/26/07
North Dakota seeks to legalize hemp farming, a goddess is stripped of her title, and Stephen asks Robert Shrum whether he advised Kerry to flip or to flop.
The Colbert ReportS3 Bob Shrum
Democratic campaign strategist Bob Shrum wants to know if Stephen's wrist injury has made him reconsider his position on universal health care.
The Colbert ReportS3 Industrial Hemp & Medical Marijuana - Aaron Houston
Medical marijuana advocate Aaron Houston tells Stephen the only thing you'd get from smoking hemp is the headache of your life.
The Colbert ReportS3 Advice to the Gods - Nepalese Pre-Teen Goddesses
A top Kumari -- a pre-teen girl Nepalese Buddhists worship as a goddess -- was recently stripped of her divinity for visiting the United States.
The Colbert ReportS3 How Did Stephen Break His Wrist?
Stephen's left wrist is in a cast, though there's some confusion about what might have caused the injury.
The Colbert ReportS3 Wrist Violence - Glorification
Stephen dispels the rumor that he injured his wrist while punching out Korean strongman Kim Jong-il.
The Colbert ReportS3 Evan Osnos
Chicago Tribune's Beijing Bureau Chief, Evan Osnos, argues that the American demand for cashmere has caused pollution clouds to travel from China to American soil.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Solidarity
By hiring the homeless to picket for them, carpenters are protesting low wages and no benefits with low wages and no benefits.
The Colbert ReportS3 Pollution Immigration
Polluted air from Asia, or "kung fumes," are taking away emphysema-related deaths from hardworking American pollutants.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 7/30/07
In this episode, Stephen suggests a new picketing strategy for unions, looks at botulism in our chili and interviews Chicago Tribune's Beijing Bureau Chief, Evan Osnos.
The Colbert ReportS3 ThreatDown - Scottish Surgeons
Thanks to Scottish surgeons, the only way America can protect its ports is by crossbreeding dolphins with Homeland Security director Michael Chertoff.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Special Prosecutor
Stephen argues that if Alberto Gonzales believes what he is saying, then technically, it's not perjury.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sport Report - Barry Bonds
Stephen defends Barry Bonds' alleged drug use, gambles his money away in the Saudi Arabia and Iraq soccer game and talks about a racing greyhound that's named after him.
The Colbert ReportS3 Rupert Murdoch Purchases The Wall Street Journal
Stephen wonders if Rupert Murdoch has instead taken over Reuters, who were first to report the story.
The Colbert ReportS3 Wrist Violence Epidemic
Stephen continues to attack films that show wrist violence and calls on Hollywood to stop showing such acts.
The Colbert ReportS3 Smokin' Pole - Arc! Who Goes There?
Now is the time for America to deploy its undersea army of hermit crabs to fight back Russia from claiming the North Pole.
The Colbert ReportS3 Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
Kathleen Kennedy Townsend explains how the Christian Right has shrunk God and made America not care about the common good.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 7/31/07
In this episode, Russia lays claim to the North Pole, Democrats accuse Alberto Gonzales of perjury and guest Kathleen Kennedy Townsend talks about what happens when you mix politics and religion.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - College Credit
Stephen is all in favor of a new system of charging higher tuition for certain college majors and has some additional ideas of his own.
The Colbert ReportS3 When Animals Attack Our Morals - Hollywood Pigeons
Stephen recommends that Hollywood stop putting their pigeons on the pill and start teaching an abstinence-only curriculum.
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