The Colbert Report
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fir Tree Lung
Season 5 • 04/27/2009
Trees, leave our lungs alone.
The Word - Brunt DoubleThe Colbert ReportS5
Until we can all agree on whom we should be angry at, tearing each other apart is the best plan we've got.
Intro - 4/23/09The Colbert ReportS5
Who is to blame for the economic crisis? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the ducks probably did it.
Illegitimate Grandson of an AlligatorThe Colbert ReportS5
Have you heard the rumor that Bill Posey's grandmother had her alligator baby out of wedlock?
Elizabeth BintliffThe Colbert ReportS5
Elizabeth Bintliff brings along Daisy the Cow to promote Heifer International, an organization that delivers livestock to developing countries.
America Does Not Swear On CameraThe Colbert ReportS5
Shepard Smith swearing on camera isn't something one gets away with like torture.
Days of Swine and DosesThe Colbert ReportS5
The swine flu virus contains a little something from pig, bird and human -- just like Stephen's paella recipe.
Shout Out - Kids EditionThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen promises never to eat Ewok, provides some child-safe Nazi footage and raises the competition on donorschoose.org.
The DecemberistsThe Colbert ReportS5
Colin Meloy describes The Decemberists' latest album by listing influences Stephen's never heard of.
Intro - 4/27/09The Colbert ReportS5
Swine flu rages, and The Decemberists stop by and officially sell out.
A Rare Correction - Stephen Eats an EwokThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wasn't completely honest when he said he'd never eat an Ewok.
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fir Tree LungThe Colbert ReportS5
Christmas trees are supposed to warm the cockles of our hearts, not infest the alveoli of our lungs.
Daniel GrossThe Colbert ReportS5
Daniel Gross urges rich cable TV personalities to buy steaks, cigars and whiskey.
Arlen Specter Contracts Donkey FluThe Colbert ReportS5
Republicans tried to fight off donkey flu, but their white cells weren't strong enough.
No Animals Were HarmedThe Colbert ReportS5
No animals were harmed, but after the credits roll, all bets are off.
Intro - 4/28/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen learns what it takes to be a foreign correspondent, besides a pad, a pencil and an anti-American bias, and drinks are on Daniel Gross.
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - CorrespondentsThe Colbert ReportS5
After taking into consideration his American hero and United Airlines platinum member status, Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf, third and third-most, as a journalist.
Foreign Reporting - Richard EngelThe Colbert ReportS5
Richard Engel shares with Stephen the customary tip for a soldier who saves your life.
Intro - 4/29/09The Colbert ReportS5
The nation may have an education problem, and David Kessler thinks Americans eat too much, which means he must have eyes.
Feet TeethThe Colbert ReportS5
Don't forget to brush your teeth, including your feet teeth.
Enemy Swine: A Pigcalypse NowThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen calms everyone down with his advice on swine flu.
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