The Colbert Report

The Word - The Money Shot

Season 5 • 11/12/2009

The government should stop minting cash and start making bullets.

More

Watching

00:17

Sign Off - Stephen's Fight With Christopher Caldwell
The Colbert ReportS5

The show went well except for the violent fistfight Stephen had with Christopher Caldwell that had to be edited out.
11/11/2009
06:22

Christopher Caldwell
The Colbert ReportS5

Christopher Caldwell says unassimilated Muslim immigrants have disrupted European relations between ethnic groups and the sexes.
11/11/2009
05:23

Grover the Hill
The Colbert ReportS5

America's most insidious socialist brainwashing program, "Sesame Street," celebrates its 40th anniversary and introduces Pox News.
11/11/2009
02:39

Goldman Sachs Does God's Work
The Colbert ReportS5

Despite collecting the highest salary on Wall Street, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein never forgets he's a blue-collar guy doing God's work.
11/11/2009
04:13

Tip/Wag - San Francisco Chronicle & George Clinton
The Colbert ReportS5

The San Francisco Chronicle prints on glossy paper, and the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rules in favor of George Clinton.
11/11/2009
02:24

Stephen Claims Lou Dobbs' Audience
The Colbert ReportS5

In punditry, like in "Highlander," there can be only one Lou Dobbs, so Stephen claims his audience after Dobbs quits CNN.
11/12/2009
01:26

Sign Off - Stephen Shaves Woody's Head
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen shaves Woody Harrelson's head while they both sing "The Star-Spangled Banner."
11/12/2009
01:24

Miracle Whip Buys Ad Space
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is going to buy more delicious mayonnaise with the money from Miracle Whip's advertising.
11/12/2009
04:07

Sport Report - Cricket Scandal & Letter-Writing Campaign
The Colbert ReportS5

A cricket coach encourages his players to have sex before matches, and Stephen starts his Canadian "Don't Be an Ice-Hole" letter-writing campaign.
11/12/2009
06:01

Woody Harrelson
The Colbert ReportS5

Woody Harrelson shows his support for the troops by allowing Stephen to shave his head.
11/12/2009
03:46

The Word - The Money Shot
The Colbert ReportS5

If we want to save the U.S. dollar, we should peg it to America's most precious metal of all: lead.
11/12/2009
03:32

Alpha Dog of the Week - Joe Perry
The Colbert ReportS5

Joe Perry has always been the face of Aerosmith -- you just might not know it because his hair is often in the way.
11/16/2009
00:31

Intro - 11/16/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Aerosmith breaks up to pursue separate nursing homes, and Paul Goldberger discusses Stephen's favorite architect, Mike Brady.
11/16/2009
05:49

The Word - Skeletons in the Closet
The Colbert ReportS5

How is the governor of Rhode Island supposed to rest in peace knowing that a couple of plots over two dudes are being gay dead?
11/16/2009
00:19

Sign Off - Good Morning, Burma
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says good morning to anybody watching from Burma, and congratulations on owning a TV.
11/16/2009
03:07

Obama Bows to Japanese Emperor
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama brings great shame upon America by taking a deep bow to the emperor of Japan.
11/16/2009
06:30

Paul Goldberger
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Goldberger says buildings bring out our emotions and are part of our most profound memories.
11/16/2009
07:09

Kid Gloves - Marc Kielburger
The Colbert ReportS5

Marc Kielburger attempts to break the cycle of poverty by taking kids out of child labor and putting them in school.
11/17/2009
00:02

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
11/17/2009
06:21

Better Know a District - California's 12th - Jackie Speier
The Colbert ReportS5

Representative Jackie Speier defends gay rights and shoots a viral skateboarding video for YouTube with Stephen.
11/17/2009
00:33

Intro - 11/17/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Congress cracks down on child labor, Stephen profiles California's 12th district, and Malcolm Gladwell talks about his new book.
11/17/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:30

XXXI Days of Announcing the Holidays

Andrew Catalon of CBS Sports rings in the holiday season with expert commentary on the festive shows, movies and specials airing all December long!
12/01/2023
Trailer
01:43

"South Park: Snow Day!" Video Game Showcases New Gameplay
South Park

"South Park: Snow Day!" immerses players in a new art style, bringing your favorite characters to life while exploring classic locations from the show, now available to preorder in-store.
12/01/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022