The Colbert Report

Intro - 3/9/09

Season 5 • 03/09/2009

Stephen can't believe Stacy drugged Rex's drink.

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Watching

00:10

The Colbert ReportS5
Leave You Wanting More

Stephen likes to leave you wanting more.
03/05/2009
05:28

The Colbert ReportS5
Steven Johnson

Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
03/05/2009
00:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/5/09

The Obama administration goes after pundits. John King, set your magic screen to stun.
03/05/2009
04:44

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh doesn't care what the Constitution says, which is proof that he is the true leader of the Republican Party.
03/05/2009
07:50

The Colbert ReportS5
Market Psychology - Jim Cramer

Jim Cramer discusses the psychology of the open market with a backdrop of puppies and kittens.
03/05/2009
06:38

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis

Representative Cynthia Lummis judges a selection of Stephen's meats.
03/09/2009
05:59

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Locked and Loathed

Stephen longs for a day when gun owners no longer have to hide their relationships with their concealed weapons.
03/09/2009
00:08

The Colbert ReportS5
Sleep Tight, Abraham

Sleep tight, Abraham. You've got a big day tomorrow.
03/09/2009
01:47

The Colbert ReportS5
Lisa Hannigan

Lisa Hannigan sewed the cover, liner notes and lyrics of her album "Sea Sew."
03/09/2009
01:32

The Colbert ReportS5
New Baby Abraham Carter Grosz

Any script, teleplay or offspring generated by an employee of The Colbert Report is the intellectual property of Stephen Colbert.
03/09/2009
00:27

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/9/09

If Stacy drugged Rex's drink, who is going to perform Felicia's brain surgery?
03/09/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Sick Three-Way

Stephen is an unwilling party to your sick three-way, and he'll see you in court.
03/10/2009
04:57

The Colbert ReportS5
Jay Keasling

Jay Keasling says the same yeast that we use to produce beer and bread will soon be fueling our cars and planes.
03/10/2009
06:46

The Colbert ReportS5
Space Module: Colbert - William Gerstenmaier

Stephen asks William Gerstenmaier to commit to naming the space module "Colbert," if he wins the online vote.
03/10/2009
04:18

The Colbert ReportS5
Conservative Rap Battle - Droppin' Science on Michael Steele

Michael Steele may not have seen "8 Mile," but a key part of every rap battle is showing up to the rap battle.
03/10/2009
02:41

The Colbert ReportS5
Coffee-Induced Hallucinations

Stephen should have never bought M. Night Shyamalan coffee.
03/10/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/10/09

Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele is in trouble -- his punishment: being chairman of the Republican Party.
03/10/2009
06:06

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Rand Illusion

Stephen wants to live on an island with the CEOs, hedge fund managers, House Republicans and TV pundits.
03/11/2009
00:12

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen's Encore

If you clap for 23.5 hours straight, Stephen will come back for an encore.
03/11/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/11/09

Republicans turn to a classic novel for inspiration -- 'It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.'
03/11/2009
06:46

The Colbert ReportS5
Howard Fineman

Howard Fineman believes Americans were born and bred to argue.
03/11/2009
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