The Colbert Report

Intro - 3/9/09

Season 5 • 03/09/2009

Stephen can't believe Stacy drugged Rex's drink.

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00:10

Leave You Wanting More
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen likes to leave you wanting more.
03/05/2009
05:28

Steven Johnson
The Colbert ReportS5

Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
03/05/2009
00:26

Intro - 3/5/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Obama administration goes after pundits. John King, set your magic screen to stun.
03/05/2009
04:44

Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh
The Colbert ReportS5

Rush Limbaugh doesn't care what the Constitution says, which is proof that he is the true leader of the Republican Party.
03/05/2009
07:50

Market Psychology - Jim Cramer
The Colbert ReportS5

Jim Cramer discusses the psychology of the open market with a backdrop of puppies and kittens.
03/05/2009
06:38

Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis
The Colbert ReportS5

Representative Cynthia Lummis judges a selection of Stephen's meats.
03/09/2009
05:59

The Word - Locked and Loathed
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen longs for a day when gun owners no longer have to hide their relationships with their concealed weapons.
03/09/2009
00:08

Sleep Tight, Abraham
The Colbert ReportS5

Sleep tight, Abraham. You've got a big day tomorrow.
03/09/2009
01:47

Lisa Hannigan
The Colbert ReportS5

Lisa Hannigan sewed the cover, liner notes and lyrics of her album "Sea Sew."
03/09/2009
01:32

New Baby Abraham Carter Grosz
The Colbert ReportS5

Any script, teleplay or offspring generated by an employee of The Colbert Report is the intellectual property of Stephen Colbert.
03/09/2009
00:27

Intro - 3/9/09
The Colbert ReportS5

If Stacy drugged Rex's drink, who is going to perform Felicia's brain surgery?
03/09/2009
00:15

Sick Three-Way
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is an unwilling party to your sick three-way, and he'll see you in court.
03/10/2009
04:57

Jay Keasling
The Colbert ReportS5

Jay Keasling says the same yeast that we use to produce beer and bread will soon be fueling our cars and planes.
03/10/2009
06:46

Space Module: Colbert - William Gerstenmaier
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen asks William Gerstenmaier to commit to naming the space module "Colbert," if he wins the online vote.
03/10/2009
04:18

Conservative Rap Battle - Droppin' Science on Michael Steele
The Colbert ReportS5

Michael Steele may not have seen "8 Mile," but a key part of every rap battle is showing up to the rap battle.
03/10/2009
02:41

Coffee-Induced Hallucinations
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen should have never bought M. Night Shyamalan coffee.
03/10/2009
00:34

Intro - 3/10/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele is in trouble -- his punishment: being chairman of the Republican Party.
03/10/2009
06:06

The Word - Rand Illusion
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants to live on an island with the CEOs, hedge fund managers, House Republicans and TV pundits.
03/11/2009
00:12

Stephen's Encore
The Colbert ReportS5

If you clap for 23.5 hours straight, Stephen will come back for an encore.
03/11/2009
00:34

Intro - 3/11/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Republicans turn to a classic novel for inspiration -- 'It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.'
03/11/2009
06:46

Howard Fineman
The Colbert ReportS5

Howard Fineman believes Americans were born and bred to argue.
03/11/2009
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