The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/9/09
Season 5 • 03/09/2009
Stephen can't believe Stacy drugged Rex's drink.
The Colbert ReportS5 Steven Johnson
Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/5/09
The Obama administration goes after pundits. John King, set your magic screen to stun.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh
Rush Limbaugh doesn't care what the Constitution says, which is proof that he is the true leader of the Republican Party.
The Colbert ReportS5 Market Psychology - Jim Cramer
Jim Cramer discusses the psychology of the open market with a backdrop of puppies and kittens.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis
Representative Cynthia Lummis judges a selection of Stephen's meats.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Locked and Loathed
Stephen longs for a day when gun owners no longer have to hide their relationships with their concealed weapons.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sleep Tight, Abraham
Sleep tight, Abraham. You've got a big day tomorrow.
The Colbert ReportS5 Lisa Hannigan
Lisa Hannigan sewed the cover, liner notes and lyrics of her album "Sea Sew."
The Colbert ReportS5 New Baby Abraham Carter Grosz
Any script, teleplay or offspring generated by an employee of The Colbert Report is the intellectual property of Stephen Colbert.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/9/09
If Stacy drugged Rex's drink, who is going to perform Felicia's brain surgery?
The Colbert ReportS5 Sick Three-Way
Stephen is an unwilling party to your sick three-way, and he'll see you in court.
The Colbert ReportS5 Jay Keasling
Jay Keasling says the same yeast that we use to produce beer and bread will soon be fueling our cars and planes.
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - William Gerstenmaier
Stephen asks William Gerstenmaier to commit to naming the space module "Colbert," if he wins the online vote.
The Colbert ReportS5 Conservative Rap Battle - Droppin' Science on Michael Steele
Michael Steele may not have seen "8 Mile," but a key part of every rap battle is showing up to the rap battle.
The Colbert ReportS5 Coffee-Induced Hallucinations
Stephen should have never bought M. Night Shyamalan coffee.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/10/09
Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele is in trouble -- his punishment: being chairman of the Republican Party.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Rand Illusion
Stephen wants to live on an island with the CEOs, hedge fund managers, House Republicans and TV pundits.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen's Encore
If you clap for 23.5 hours straight, Stephen will come back for an encore.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/11/09
Republicans turn to a classic novel for inspiration -- 'It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.'
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