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The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/9/09
Season 5 • 03/09/2009
Stephen can't believe Stacy drugged Rex's drink.
More
Watching
00:10
The Colbert Report
S5
Leave You Wanting More
Stephen likes to leave you wanting more.
03/05/2009
05:28
The Colbert Report
S5
Steven Johnson
Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
03/05/2009
00:26
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 3/5/09
The Obama administration goes after pundits. John King, set your magic screen to stun.
03/05/2009
04:44
The Colbert Report
S5
Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh
Rush Limbaugh doesn't care what the Constitution says, which is proof that he is the true leader of the Republican Party.
03/05/2009
07:50
The Colbert Report
S5
Market Psychology - Jim Cramer
Jim Cramer discusses the psychology of the open market with a backdrop of puppies and kittens.
03/05/2009
06:38
The Colbert Report
S5
Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis
Representative Cynthia Lummis judges a selection of Stephen's meats.
03/09/2009
05:59
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Locked and Loathed
Stephen longs for a day when gun owners no longer have to hide their relationships with their concealed weapons.
03/09/2009
00:08
The Colbert Report
S5
Sleep Tight, Abraham
Sleep tight, Abraham. You've got a big day tomorrow.
03/09/2009
01:47
The Colbert Report
S5
Lisa Hannigan
Lisa Hannigan sewed the cover, liner notes and lyrics of her album "Sea Sew."
03/09/2009
01:32
The Colbert Report
S5
New Baby Abraham Carter Grosz
Any script, teleplay or offspring generated by an employee of The Colbert Report is the intellectual property of Stephen Colbert.
03/09/2009
00:27
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 3/9/09
If Stacy drugged Rex's drink, who is going to perform Felicia's brain surgery?
03/09/2009
00:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Sick Three-Way
Stephen is an unwilling party to your sick three-way, and he'll see you in court.
03/10/2009
04:57
The Colbert Report
S5
Jay Keasling
Jay Keasling says the same yeast that we use to produce beer and bread will soon be fueling our cars and planes.
03/10/2009
06:46
The Colbert Report
S5
Space Module: Colbert - William Gerstenmaier
Stephen asks William Gerstenmaier to commit to naming the space module "Colbert," if he wins the online vote.
03/10/2009
04:18
The Colbert Report
S5
Conservative Rap Battle - Droppin' Science on Michael Steele
Michael Steele may not have seen "8 Mile," but a key part of every rap battle is showing up to the rap battle.
03/10/2009
02:41
The Colbert Report
S5
Coffee-Induced Hallucinations
Stephen should have never bought M. Night Shyamalan coffee.
03/10/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 3/10/09
Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele is in trouble -- his punishment: being chairman of the Republican Party.
03/10/2009
06:06
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Rand Illusion
Stephen wants to live on an island with the CEOs, hedge fund managers, House Republicans and TV pundits.
03/11/2009
00:12
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen's Encore
If you clap for 23.5 hours straight, Stephen will come back for an encore.
03/11/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 3/11/09
Republicans turn to a classic novel for inspiration -- 'It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.'
03/11/2009
06:46
The Colbert Report
S5
Howard Fineman
Howard Fineman believes Americans were born and bred to argue.
03/11/2009
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