The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Maximum Profitability

Season 8 • 11/11/2003

When a man loves a woman, he tapes it and uploads it to the internet.

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01:52

High School High
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

A high school in South Carolina was raided for drugs and, oops, none were found.
11/10/2003
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02:46

They The People
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Before the U.S. went to war in Afghanistan, it was a theocracy that Osama Bin Laden called home, but now it's an emerging democracy that Osama Bin Laden calls home.
11/10/2003
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03:40

T and Sympathy
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Mr. T is back in charge of his public image and has no empathy for those of lower intelligence.
11/10/2003
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05:25

Will Ferrell
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Despite the success of "Elf," Will Ferrell senses hate and loathing from people on the streets of New York.
11/10/2003
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03:49

Prince Charles Scandal
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The royal scandal is the type of story a reporter waits his entire career not to be able to report on.
11/10/2003
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03:46

This Week Injustice - Sniper Watch 2003
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The Malvo sniper trial and Rosie O'Donnell's breech of contract case are just the undercard to the Kobe Bryant Colorado rape case.
11/11/2003
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05:46

Mach Trial
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Gillette and Schick both insist that currently the technology just doesn't exist for a "hands free" shaving razor.
11/11/2003
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05:31

Peter Dinklage
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Peter Dinklage's dinner with the Prince of Morocco was just not really that good of a time.
11/11/2003
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00:10

Moment of Zen - The Case for Clean
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

In our society, dirty people just aren't trusted.
11/11/2003
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02:18

GI Woe
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

President Bush wanted to get veterans health insurance but didn't know if they already had it, so here's a tomb.
11/11/2003
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01:18

Maximum Profitability
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon explains to the kids at home what happens sometimes when a man loves a woman.
11/11/2003
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04:14

This Week in God - Ramadan, Pigs, Tree Stump
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

A tree stump in a vacant lot frequented by heroin users in Passaic, New Jersey looks kind of like the Virgin Mary.
11/12/2003
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00:49

Guest Requirements
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon Stewart announces that all guests are now required to do a rap version of the news like Wyclef Jean.
11/12/2003
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01:58

Where's the Head?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

New York City real estate heir Robert Durst, who cut up the body of his neighbor, argues self-defense.
11/12/2003
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04:40

Democrats 2004: Race from the White House - Kerry Campaign
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

John Kerry fired his campaign manager, then his deputy finance director quit, along with his campaign spokesman and a plucky intern.
11/12/2003
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02:21

Kerrey 07
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Ed Helms won't say that John Kerry inspires no passion, that he looks like he's decomposing, that every time he opens his mouth you expect him to say, "brains, more brains."
11/12/2003
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05:25

Wyclef Jean
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

This has been Wyclef Jean, Senior Analyst in Charge of Rap with the rap news.
11/12/2003
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00:11

Moment of Zen - Miracle
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

A tree stump in New Jersey bearing a resemblance to the Virgin Mary.
11/12/2003
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03:21

30 Hour Party People
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

In a 30 hour jackass filibuster, senators from both parties are alternating speaking in half hour slots about any subject that comes to mind.
11/13/2003
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00:39

Skipping the Holiday Blues
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon Stewart previews the guests and stories for next week's show.
11/13/2003
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02:38

Mess O'Potamia - Operation Iron Hammer
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon Stewart shows the wrong night vision tape, which is a result of downloading your entire show off the internet for free.
11/13/2003
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