The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Maximum Profitability

Season 8 • 11/11/2003

When a man loves a woman, he tapes it and uploads it to the internet.

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01:52

High School High
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

A high school in South Carolina was raided for drugs and, oops, none were found.
11/10/2003
02:46

They The People
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Before the U.S. went to war in Afghanistan, it was a theocracy that Osama Bin Laden called home, but now it's an emerging democracy that Osama Bin Laden calls home.
11/10/2003
03:40

T and Sympathy
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Mr. T is back in charge of his public image and has no empathy for those of lower intelligence.
11/10/2003
05:25

Will Ferrell
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Despite the success of "Elf," Will Ferrell senses hate and loathing from people on the streets of New York.
11/10/2003
03:49

Prince Charles Scandal
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The royal scandal is the type of story a reporter waits his entire career not to be able to report on.
11/10/2003
03:46

This Week Injustice - Sniper Watch 2003
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The Malvo sniper trial and Rosie O'Donnell's breech of contract case are just the undercard to the Kobe Bryant Colorado rape case.
11/11/2003
05:46

Mach Trial
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Gillette and Schick both insist that currently the technology just doesn't exist for a "hands free" shaving razor.
11/11/2003
05:31

Peter Dinklage
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Peter Dinklage's dinner with the Prince of Morocco was just not really that good of a time.
11/11/2003
00:10

Moment of Zen - The Case for Clean
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

In our society, dirty people just aren't trusted.
11/11/2003
02:18

GI Woe
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

President Bush wanted to get veterans health insurance but didn't know if they already had it, so here's a tomb.
11/11/2003
01:18

Maximum Profitability
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon explains to the kids at home what happens sometimes when a man loves a woman.
11/11/2003
04:14

This Week in God - Ramadan, Pigs, Tree Stump
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

A tree stump in a vacant lot frequented by heroin users in Passaic, New Jersey looks kind of like the Virgin Mary.
11/12/2003
00:49

Guest Requirements
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon Stewart announces that all guests are now required to do a rap version of the news like Wyclef Jean.
11/12/2003
01:58

Where's the Head?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

New York City real estate heir Robert Durst, who cut up the body of his neighbor, argues self-defense.
11/12/2003
04:40

Democrats 2004: Race from the White House - Kerry Campaign
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

John Kerry fired his campaign manager, then his deputy finance director quit, along with his campaign spokesman and a plucky intern.
11/12/2003
02:21

Kerrey 07
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Ed Helms won't say that John Kerry inspires no passion, that he looks like he's decomposing, that every time he opens his mouth you expect him to say, "brains, more brains."
11/12/2003
05:25

Wyclef Jean
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

This has been Wyclef Jean, Senior Analyst in Charge of Rap with the rap news.
11/12/2003
00:11

Moment of Zen - Miracle
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

A tree stump in New Jersey bearing a resemblance to the Virgin Mary.
11/12/2003
03:21

30 Hour Party People
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

In a 30 hour jackass filibuster, senators from both parties are alternating speaking in half hour slots about any subject that comes to mind.
11/13/2003
00:39

Skipping the Holiday Blues
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon Stewart previews the guests and stories for next week's show.
11/13/2003
02:38

Mess O'Potamia - Operation Iron Hammer
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon Stewart shows the wrong night vision tape, which is a result of downloading your entire show off the internet for free.
11/13/2003
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