The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Maximum Profitability

Season 8 • 11/11/2003

When a man loves a woman, he tapes it and uploads it to the internet.

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01:52

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
High School High

A high school in South Carolina was raided for drugs and, oops, none were found.
11/10/2003
02:46

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
They The People

Before the U.S. went to war in Afghanistan, it was a theocracy that Osama Bin Laden called home, but now it's an emerging democracy that Osama Bin Laden calls home.
11/10/2003
03:40

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
T and Sympathy

Mr. T is back in charge of his public image and has no empathy for those of lower intelligence.
11/10/2003
05:25

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Will Ferrell

Despite the success of "Elf," Will Ferrell senses hate and loathing from people on the streets of New York.
11/10/2003
03:49

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Prince Charles Scandal

The royal scandal is the type of story a reporter waits his entire career not to be able to report on.
11/10/2003
03:46

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
This Week Injustice - Sniper Watch 2003

The Malvo sniper trial and Rosie O'Donnell's breech of contract case are just the undercard to the Kobe Bryant Colorado rape case.
11/11/2003
05:46

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Mach Trial

Gillette and Schick both insist that currently the technology just doesn't exist for a "hands free" shaving razor.
11/11/2003
05:31

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Peter Dinklage

Peter Dinklage's dinner with the Prince of Morocco was just not really that good of a time.
11/11/2003
00:10

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Moment of Zen - The Case for Clean

In our society, dirty people just aren't trusted.
11/11/2003
02:18

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
GI Woe

President Bush wanted to get veterans health insurance but didn't know if they already had it, so here's a tomb.
11/11/2003
01:18

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Maximum Profitability

Jon explains to the kids at home what happens sometimes when a man loves a woman.
11/11/2003
04:14

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
This Week in God - Ramadan, Pigs, Tree Stump

A tree stump in a vacant lot frequented by heroin users in Passaic, New Jersey looks kind of like the Virgin Mary.
11/12/2003
00:49

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Guest Requirements

Jon Stewart announces that all guests are now required to do a rap version of the news like Wyclef Jean.
11/12/2003
01:58

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Where's the Head?

New York City real estate heir Robert Durst, who cut up the body of his neighbor, argues self-defense.
11/12/2003
04:40

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Democrats 2004: Race from the White House - Kerry Campaign

John Kerry fired his campaign manager, then his deputy finance director quit, along with his campaign spokesman and a plucky intern.
11/12/2003
02:21

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Kerrey 07

Ed Helms won't say that John Kerry inspires no passion, that he looks like he's decomposing, that every time he opens his mouth you expect him to say, "brains, more brains."
11/12/2003
05:25

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Wyclef Jean

This has been Wyclef Jean, Senior Analyst in Charge of Rap with the rap news.
11/12/2003
00:11

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Moment of Zen - Miracle

A tree stump in New Jersey bearing a resemblance to the Virgin Mary.
11/12/2003
03:21

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
30 Hour Party People

In a 30 hour jackass filibuster, senators from both parties are alternating speaking in half hour slots about any subject that comes to mind.
11/13/2003
00:39

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Skipping the Holiday Blues

Jon Stewart previews the guests and stories for next week's show.
11/13/2003
02:38

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Mess O'Potamia - Operation Iron Hammer

Jon Stewart shows the wrong night vision tape, which is a result of downloading your entire show off the internet for free.
11/13/2003
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