The Colbert Report

Intro - 6/25/09

Season 5 • 06/25/2009

Obama turns their network over to B

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00:29

Intro - 6/24/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.
06/24/2009
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05:05

Sport Report - Soccer, Tennis & Brett Favre
The Colbert ReportS5

The U.S. soccer team beats Spain, Wimbledon fights match fixing, and Brett Favre wants to join the Minnesota Vikings.
06/24/2009
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07:19

Matthew Crawford
The Colbert ReportS5

Matthew Crawford explores the dichotomy between "knowledge" work and manual labor.
06/24/2009
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00:33

Sign Off - Random GPS Coordinate Lottery
The Colbert ReportS5

If you're at latitude 37.718 and longitude negative 102.656, you've won Stephen's random GPS coordinate lottery.
06/24/2009
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05:56

Mark Sanford Does Something Interesting
The Colbert ReportS5

Mark Sanford releases the juicy details of his torrid affair at a press conference, putting Stephen to sleep.
06/24/2009
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05:59

Jim Fouratt
The Colbert ReportS5

Jim Fouratt discusses the significance of the Stonewall riots for the gay rights movement and his frustration with Barack Obama.
06/25/2009
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00:16

Sign Off - One Breath
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen made it through the whole show in one breath.
06/25/2009
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02:01

Gay Demon on the Loose
The Colbert ReportS5

A gay demon was perfectly harmless inside a gay teen, but now it's on the prowl looking to inhabit a new host.
06/25/2009
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04:09

The Word - Stonewalling
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama will give rights to the gay community once he's done putting it off.
06/25/2009
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06:28

Commonsense Health Care Reform Infomercial
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama promotes his health care plan on ABC, while Republicans propose their own health care reform with an infomercial.
06/25/2009
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00:33

Intro - 6/25/09
The Colbert ReportS5

ABC turns their network over to Barack Obama, and Jim Fouratt meets the leader of the gay shame movement.
06/25/2009
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05:24

Jeff Goldblum Will Be Missed
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Goldblum interrupts Stephen's report on the death of Jeff Goldblum.
06/29/2009
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02:36

Michael Jackson's Media Attention
The Colbert ReportS5

With the media focused on Michael Jackson's death, Stephen can commit unspeakable acts of depravity without anyone noticing.
06/29/2009
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05:04

The Word - Noncensus
The Colbert ReportS5

If Americans stop counting, it will end longstanding problems like the census, the deficit and birthdays.
06/29/2009
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04:52

Neil deGrasse Tyson
The Colbert ReportS5

Neil deGrasse Tyson tries to make science accessible to whomever wants to reach out and touch it.
06/29/2009
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00:12

Sign Off - Farewell, David Souter
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen hopes Justice David Souter enjoys his retirement with Norm Coleman.
06/30/2009
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03:09

Is It Time to Care About Soccer? - Alexi Lalas
The Colbert ReportS5

Alexi Lalas believes the U.S. soccer team definitely has a shot at winning the World Cup.
06/30/2009
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00:27

Intro - 6/30/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen questions whether America should embrace soccer, and Kevin Mattson thinks Jimmy Carter was underappreciated.
06/30/2009
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04:38

Is It Time To Care About Soccer?
The Colbert ReportS5

Normally, Stephen wouldn't think twice about soccer, but that was before the U.S. was good at it.
06/30/2009
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02:22

4th of July Under Attack
The Colbert ReportS5

An environmental activist sues Seattle to suspend their 4th of July fireworks display in pristine Gas Works Park.
06/30/2009
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02:24

Al Franken Finally Declared Senator
The Colbert ReportS5

The Minnesota Supreme Court rushes to declare Al Franken the Senate race winner after barely seven months of deliberation.
06/30/2009
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