The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 03/02/2009
David Byrne realizes being ordinary isn't so bad.
Obama's Congressional Address & Jindal's ResponseThe Colbert ReportS5
If you need more proof that Barack Obama's speech was a stinker, even Congress wasn't paying attention.
Intro - 2/25/09The Colbert ReportS5
Mayor John Fetterman offers up his bankrupt town for experimentation -- sounds like a good place to move Gitmo.
Intro - 2/26/09The Colbert ReportS5
How do we save our struggling banks? Video poker ATMs.
Kris KristoffersonThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants to know how Kris Kristofferson can be a country musician and a liberal at the same time.
Conservative Rap Battle - Stephen Challenges Michael SteeleThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants to lay down some dope, yet fiscally responsible rhymes with Michael Steele.
The Word - The Swede HereafterThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants to copy the Swedish economic model of the Vikings.
Claire McCaskill's TwitteringThe Colbert ReportS5
Claire McCaskill lies about Twittering during Barack Obama's congressional speech.
Snow in the StudioThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen questions the wisdom of his retractable dome after a Nor'easter dumps snow in the studio.
Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele Gets ServedThe Colbert ReportS5
Maybe Michael Steele doesn't understand the rules of a rap battle.
P.K. Winsome - Defective Obama CollectiblesThe Colbert ReportS5
P.K. Winsome refuses to apologize for his faulty Obama collectibles from an undisclosed location.
David ByrneThe Colbert ReportS5
Late at night, who does David Byrne fear David Byrne is?
Beer Pong Herpes OutbreakThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen knew there was a correlation between beer pong and herpes, he just didn't know it could happen during the game.
Mark BittmanThe Colbert ReportS5
Mark Bittman says we eat without thinking about what is good for us, and what's good for the planet.
The Murderer Was DerekThe Colbert ReportS5
For those of you just tuning in, the murderer was Derek.
Space Module: Colbert - Name NASA's Node 3 After StephenThe Colbert ReportS5
Colbert Nation is officially mobilized to get NASA's new space station node named "Colbert."
Intro - 3/3/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama taxes the rich to pay for universal health care, and South Carolina may finally end gun prostitution.
Guns for RosesThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen doesn't like the idea of putting all these roses out on the streets with their pointy thorns.
The Word - Share the WealthThe Colbert ReportS5
If we're paying for the poor's health care, we need to make sure they stay healthy.
Carl WilsonThe Colbert ReportS5
Carl Wilson tries to understand the popularity of Celine Dion in "Let's Talk About Love."
Intro - 3/4/09The Colbert ReportS5
Will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?
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