The Colbert Report

The Word - High Fidelity

Season 3 • 03/14/2007

In the Bush administration, loyalty is competence.

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02:11

Time Travel
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Scientists claim that time travel is impossible; Stephen proves them wrong by traveling forward in time.
03/13/2007
00:08

The Word - Goodnight
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Tonight's Word is about the only thing Stephen has time for.
03/13/2007
04:58

Donald Shields
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Dr. Donald Shields talks about the firing of eight U.S. attorneys. According to Stephen, they should have pleasured the president.
03/13/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/13/07
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The firing of eight U.S. attorneys, America's biggest movie and guest Michael Eric Dyson -- tonight on The Report.
03/13/2007
02:55

Sport Report - NCAA
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Speaking of non-drug-related euphoria, Stephen is simply mentally unbalanced about March Madness.
03/14/2007
00:59

Sign Off - United We Lick
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Although Stephen can't enjoy his ice cream until Lent ends, his famous friends can.
03/14/2007
04:15

When Ancestors Attack - Barack Obama
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Remember -- John F. Kennedy's presidential chances were almost spoiled when questions were asked about his heritage
03/14/2007
00:34

Intro - 3/14/07
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Stephen talks to Ed Viesturs about climbing Mount Everest, and Bush draws increasing criticism for trying to install his own people as U.S. Attorneys.
03/14/2007
01:23

Rocky Mountain High
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As an avid outdoorsman, Stephen understands that Rocky Mountain High is not about drugs.
03/14/2007
05:39

Ed Viesturs
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Ed Viesturs agrees to plant a Colbert Report flag on top of Mount Everest the next time he goes.
03/14/2007
03:20

The Word - High Fidelity
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Upset you got fired, U.S. Attorneys? That's what unemployment insurance is for.
03/14/2007
06:18

Ayaan Hirsi Ali
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Stephen asks Ayaan Hirsi Ali if fundamentalist Christians should battle fundamentalist Muslims.
03/15/2007
03:26

St. Patrick's Day
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St. Patrick's Day can't go on now that geneticists have discovered that the English and the Irish are a single people.
03/15/2007
00:17

Sign Off - Candy
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Stephen plans out a sweet dreamscape for his loyal audience.
03/15/2007
00:34

Intro - 3/15/07
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In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to Ayaan Hirsi Ali about fundamentalist Islam, and President Bush returns from his trip to Latin America.
03/15/2007
06:00

Better Know a District - Illinois' 17th - Phil Hare
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Stephen takes his vitamin E -- a couple of caplets in the mouth keeps the blood flow going south.
03/15/2007
02:35

Emanuel Attacks Stephen
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Congressman Rahm Emanuel tells freshman students to avoid Stephen, and Stephen fights back by offering the congressman a severed finger.
03/19/2007
01:22

Alpha Dog of the Week - Pennies
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After getting charged triple the amount of his normal electric bill, Robert Hancock paid the damage in pennies and is thus named Alpha Dog of the Week.
03/19/2007
01:01

Willie Nelson Tomorrow
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In anticipation of Willie Nelson's appearance on The Report, Stephen speaks out against Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler ice cream and promotes Americone Dream.
03/19/2007
06:07

Jerome Groopman
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Dr. Jerome Groopman discusses "How Doctors Think" and explains that Dr. Gregory House is based on Sherlock Holmes, who was addicted to cocaine, not heroine.
03/19/2007
03:03

The Word - Pound of Flesh
The Colbert ReportS3

South Carolina has come up with a program to help control the prisoner population -- inmates can reduce their sentences by donating vital organs.
03/19/2007
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