The Colbert Report

Intro - 6/22/09

Season 5 • 06/22/2009

There's an enemy among us. Stephen suggests punching randomly until we find it.

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05:25

Bears & Balls - Tobacco, Project Natal & Graveyard Bids
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama outlaws flavored cigarettes, Microsoft introduces Project Natal, and a graveyard accepts bids.
06/18/2009
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00:30

Intro - 6/18/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Someone finally agrees to accept Gitmo detainees, and Stephen nails poet Paul Muldoon.
06/18/2009
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04:55

Paul Muldoon
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Muldoon and Stephen recite "Tea" together to help it become the number one poem in America.
06/18/2009
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00:14

Sign Off - Law & Order Preview
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen thanks Jeff Goldblum for stopping by and reveals a little preview of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent."
06/18/2009
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03:52

Murder in the White House - Jeff Goldblum
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Goldblum demands an apology from Barack Obama for his brutal act of violence against a fly.
06/18/2009
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00:18

Sign Off - Stephen Suffers, Too
The Colbert ReportS5

Once the audience leaves, Stephen waits in the chair till the next show starts.
06/22/2009
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02:03

The Smell of Freedom - Jeff Goldblum
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Goldblum stands up for Zicam because nobody can take away the sweet smell of freedom.
06/22/2009
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06:45

Simon Schama
The Colbert ReportS5

Simon Schama admits that out of all the countries' histories he's covered, the United States has the greatest.
06/22/2009
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04:39

The Enemy Within - Cane Fu
The Colbert ReportS5

Like a danger pig rooting out fear truffles, Stephen profiles Mark Shuey, creator of the Cane Fu combat system turning America's seniors into killing machines.
06/22/2009
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05:08

Zicam Recall
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen doesn't understand why the FDA would crack down on an unregulated heavy metal that you spray in your nose and can cause permanent damage.
06/22/2009
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00:24

Intro - 6/22/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen suggests punching randomly until we find the enemy among us, and Simon Schama writes a history of the future of America.
06/22/2009
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02:14

America's Health Plan-Demic
The Colbert ReportS5

The House Republicans' health care reform plan is practical in that it's practically three pages long and has no numbers.
06/23/2009
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04:16

Governor Alert - The Search for Mark Sanford
The Colbert ReportS5

As his first act as governor of South Carolina, Stephen calls off the search for Mark Sanford.
06/23/2009
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03:07

Barack Obama's Response to Iran
The Colbert ReportS5

Critics call for President Obama to get involved in the Iranian elections, boldly and loudly, with the fist of the Statue of Liberty.
06/23/2009
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04:21

America's Health Plan-Demic - Howard Dean
The Colbert ReportS5

Howard Dean believes the American government can pay for a public health insurance option because it will generate more jobs.
06/23/2009
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05:59

David Kilcullen
The Colbert ReportS5

David Kilcullen fights wars by taking a local approach to combat smaller guerrilla movements.
06/23/2009
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00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
06/23/2009
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00:29

Intro - 6/24/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.
06/24/2009
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05:05

Sport Report - Soccer, Tennis & Brett Favre
The Colbert ReportS5

The U.S. soccer team beats Spain, Wimbledon fights match fixing, and Brett Favre wants to join the Minnesota Vikings.
06/24/2009
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07:19

Matthew Crawford
The Colbert ReportS5

Matthew Crawford explores the dichotomy between "knowledge" work and manual labor.
06/24/2009
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00:33

Sign Off - Random GPS Coordinate Lottery
The Colbert ReportS5

If you're at latitude 37.718 and longitude negative 102.656, you've won Stephen's random GPS coordinate lottery.
06/24/2009
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