The Colbert Report
Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 1
Season 5 • 03/24/2009

Stephen says his relationship to his audience is like a father to a child...if the father is very, very needy.

Watching

03:36

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFy

Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
03/18/2009
00:11

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Sam's Club Time

That's it for time until Stephen runs to Sam's Club and picks up some more.
03/18/2009
01:24

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Predator X Discovery

Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith.
03/18/2009
06:50

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Juan Cole

Juan Cole doesn't advocate a soft approach, but he wants to take the Muslim world's views into account.
03/18/2009
03:17

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Bill Posey Alligator Rumors

Stephen demands a DNA test to determine whether Congressman Bill Posey is part alligator.
03/19/2009
03:42

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
When Animals Attack Our Morals - Chimps, Lizards & Spiders

A chimp throws rocks at Swedes, male lizards imitate females, and spiders perform miracles.
03/19/2009
00:36

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Intro - 3/19/09

A new bill would require presidential candidates to produce birth records. Mitt Romney, you can just show your serial number.
03/19/2009
05:45

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
John McCardell

John McCardell believes the current drinking age law drives alcohol consumption out of public view, putting young people at greater risk.
03/19/2009
06:07

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele's Response

In accordance with hip-hop's longstanding fairness doctrine, Stephen presents Michael Steele's rap response, remixed on behalf of Michael Steele.
03/19/2009
00:23

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Space Module: Colbert - Vote Now

Don't forget to vote for NASA's space node to be named after Stephen.
03/19/2009
00:37

The Colbert ReportS5
Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 1

Stephen says his relationship to his audience is like a father to a child...if the father is very, very needy.
03/24/2009
01:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 2

Stephen has to answer for some things he wrote in "I am America (and So Can You!)."
03/25/2009
06:04

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Derrick Pitts

Stephen handles Derrick Pitt's replica of Galileo's telescope with special magic gloves.
03/30/2009
03:18

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Space Module: Colbert - Democracy in Orbit

Representative Chaka Fattah insists that Stephen won the NASA node-naming contest fair and square.
03/30/2009
03:51

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Me Time - Emily Yoffe on Narcissistic Personality Disorder

What's wrong with thinking that you are better than everyone else if it's the truth?
03/30/2009
00:11

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
30 Minute Applause

Late viewers, just pretend that you applauded for Stephen for 30 minutes.
03/30/2009
00:35

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Intro - 3/30/09

Is narcissism hurting America? More importantly, how does Stephen's hair look?
03/30/2009
03:08

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Me Time - American Narcissism

We need ambition, self-confidence and extreme good looks to rebuild America.
03/30/2009
02:39

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Violence in Mexico

Cross border drug traffic and violence could lead to the explosion of Lou Dobbs' head.
03/30/2009
00:31

The Colbert ReportS5 E42
Intro - 3/31/09

Glenn Beck embarks on a new crusade, and David Plotz discusses every word of the Bible.
03/31/2009
07:53

The Colbert ReportS5 E42
The 10.31 Project

Stephen wants you to ring doorbells and demand that your neighbors make a tangible commitment to America in the form of a sugary treat.
03/31/2009
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