The Colbert Report

Better Know a District - California's 50th

Season 2 • 03/01/2006

Stephen is misquoted in The New York Times once again.

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02:00

Confess Your Sins to Stephen
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen knows he's not a religious leader, but he does have a TV show.
02/27/2006
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07:14

Brett O'Donnell
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks what Brett O'Donnell thinks of the debate between Job and God.
02/28/2006
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03:37

Who's Attacking Me Now? - Anderson Cooper
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen thinks Anderson Cooper is attacking him, but he can't be sure, because he's not pointing and shouting in his direction.
02/28/2006
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00:33

Intro - 2/28/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Mardi Gras is the Super Bowl of open-air drinking, other than the Super Bowl.
02/28/2006
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03:33

The Word - Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!
The Colbert ReportS2

Through the sheer power of alcohol and bare breasts, the Deep South has risen again.
02/28/2006
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04:48

Tip/Wag - Wheeled Transportation
The Colbert ReportS2

Until wheels get their act together, the president should travel by hot air balloon or dirigible.
02/28/2006
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00:33

Intro - 3/1/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen is going to celebrate Benjamin Franklin's birthday by flying a kite into some power lines.
03/01/2006
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04:54

The Word - Faith
The Colbert ReportS2

There will be great temptation for President Bush to admit that he made a mistake, but our commander in chief is strong. He will pass the test.
03/01/2006
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05:56

Better Know a Founder - Benjamin Franklin
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen and Ben Franklin talk about their inventions and who died of syphilis.
03/01/2006
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06:19

Arianna Huffington
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wants to know why Arianna Huffington hates black people.
03/01/2006
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02:37

Better Know a District - California's 50th
The Colbert ReportS2

Randy "Duke" Cunningham isn't dead to Stephen, California's 50th district is.
03/01/2006
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01:59

Sign Off - End of an Era
The Colbert ReportS2

The social outcasts of today's junior high schools are relieved of the agony of human contact.
03/02/2006
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00:33

Intro - 3/2/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen investigates humans playing God, predicts Oscar winners and interviews economist Jeffrey Sachs.
03/02/2006
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02:51

The Word - Homo Sapien Agenda
The Colbert ReportS2

The only reason Stephen could imagine being gay is to have all the sex you want without ladies and their emotional outbursts.
03/02/2006
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07:02

Jeffrey Sachs
The Colbert ReportS2

Jeffrey Sachs explains that giving a little aid to impoverished countries is the least that Americans can do.
03/02/2006
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04:13

The DaColbert Code - The Oscars
The Colbert ReportS2

Using the DaColbert Code, Stephen discovers who killed John F. Kennedy, who's to blame for the slow response to Hurricane Katrina and who will win this year's Academy Awards.
03/02/2006
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05:31

ThreatDown - Non-Blondes
The Colbert ReportS2

We need to maintain the purity of the blonde race with a massive selective breeding program.
03/06/2006
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01:00

Never Say Die
The Colbert ReportS2

A positive story out of Iraq -- if you replace the words "basketball" with "Iraq" and "cheerleader with indomitable spirit" with "President George W. Bush."
03/06/2006
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05:53

Bob Schieffer
The Colbert ReportS2

Bob Schieffer has good ratings for his morning show because most of his elderly viewers died in the night and left the television on.
03/06/2006
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01:00

Hollywood Decontamination
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wants Jon Stewart to quickly return from Hollywood so that he can be "de-Clooneyed."
03/06/2006
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00:11

Sign Off - Narnia
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen Colbert hears that Narnia is very popular with children.
03/06/2006
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