The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Goodnight

Season 9 • 09/04/2013

Stephen dashes away.

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03:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen's Science Project & Chemical Weapons in Syria

Stephen researches the effects of black truffle fettuccine, and Bashar al-Assad kills more than 1,400 civilians with chemical weapons.
09/03/2013
05:12

The Colbert ReportS9
Timothy Dolan Pt. 1

Timothy Cardinal Dolan discusses his e-book, "Praying in Rome: Reflections on the Conclave and Electing Pope Francis."
09/03/2013
00:33

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 9/3/13

Stephen returns from vacation, preps for Better Know a District and welcomes the Archbishop of New York, Timothy Dolan.
09/03/2013
03:32

The Colbert ReportS9
Timothy Dolan Pt. 2

Timothy Cardinal Dolan talks about Pope Francis' views on homosexuality and elaborate clothing.
09/03/2013
07:39

The Colbert ReportS9
Better Know a District - Michigan's 5th - Dan Kildee

Freshman Congressman Dan Kildee thinks lesbian Latinas from Minnesota should have all their rights respected in the workplace.
09/03/2013
04:48

The Colbert ReportS9
Gary England

Meteorologist Gary England locates Tornado Alley on a map and defends residents of Oklahoma.
09/04/2013
04:44

The Colbert ReportS9
Cris-Ish in Syri-Eh - Steve Coll

Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Steve Coll details President Obama's "limited military action" plan for Syria.
09/04/2013
04:54

The Colbert ReportS9
Perfect Polly

A plastic parakeet brings retirees all the joy of owning a real parakeet -- like chirping, perching and more chirping.
09/04/2013
00:34

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 9/4/13

Congress debates taking action in Syria, technology breeds robotic companions, and meteorologist Gary England knows tornados.
09/04/2013
05:47

The Colbert ReportS9
Cris-Ish in Syri-Eh

Only 29% of Americans want the U.S. to attack Syria -- which, on the plus side, means that 29% of Americans know there is a place called Syria.
09/04/2013
00:07

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen spins out of his chair.
09/04/2013
03:30

The Colbert ReportS9
John Prine

Folk legend John Prine recalls his time working as a mailman and explains why he's opposed to twerking.
09/05/2013
03:34

The Colbert ReportS9
cOlbert's Book Club & The Couch Bunker

Stephen assigns any book by J.D. Salinger except "Catcher in the Rye" and touts the latest product in home protection.
09/05/2013
00:35

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 9/5/13

Christine Quinn and Bill de Blasio vie for New York City mayor, gun owners get good news, and acoustic legend John Prine joins Stephen.
09/05/2013
05:00

The Colbert ReportS9
Kitten Subway Crisis & The New York City Mayoral Race

Mayoral candidate Joe Lhota goes after the key anti-kitten demographic after two lost kittens shut down America's largest transportation system.
09/05/2013
04:40

The Colbert ReportS9
Smile File - Ariel Castro & The Eric Bolling Sunshine Express

Fox News' Eric Bolling recommends that more prisoners should hang themselves like Ariel Castro to save taxpayer dollars.
09/05/2013
02:52

The Colbert ReportS9
Egypt's Stork Bust

With tensions running high in Egypt, everyone suspects everyone else of espionage, including birds.
09/09/2013
03:04

The Colbert ReportS9
Ronald Reagan on the Syrian Conflict

Conservatives like Bill O'Reilly have an unconditional ability to know what Super Reagan would do at any given time.
09/09/2013
05:59

The Colbert ReportS9
Billie Jean King

Tennis legend Billie Jean King talks about her 1973 "Battle of the Sexes" match against Bobby Riggs.
09/09/2013
04:57

The Colbert ReportS9
Tip/Wag - Iowa, Bigger Pants & Recent Articles

Disability rights activists support gun permits for the blind, bigger pants make Stephen feel thinner, and recent articles ruin the fun in dissected human cadavers.
09/09/2013
03:42

The Colbert ReportS9
Syrian Conflict Action Plan

Congress knows that the only thing less popular than attacking Syria is Congress, so clearly, Congress must approve an attack on Syria.
09/09/2013
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