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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
30 Minute Applause
Season 5 • 03/30/2009
Late viewers can pretend they've been applauding.
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Watching
00:36
Intro - 3/19/09
The Colbert Report
S5
A new bill would require presidential candidates to produce birth records. Mitt Romney, you can just show your serial number.
03/19/2009
05:45
John McCardell
The Colbert Report
S5
John McCardell believes the current drinking age law drives alcohol consumption out of public view, putting young people at greater risk.
03/19/2009
06:07
Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele's Response
The Colbert Report
S5
In accordance with hip-hop's longstanding fairness doctrine, Stephen presents Michael Steele's rap response, remixed on behalf of Michael Steele.
03/19/2009
00:23
Space Module: Colbert - Vote Now
The Colbert Report
S5
Don't forget to vote for NASA's space node to be named after Stephen.
03/19/2009
06:04
Derrick Pitts
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen handles Derrick Pitt's replica of Galileo's telescope with special magic gloves.
03/30/2009
03:18
Space Module: Colbert - Democracy in Orbit
The Colbert Report
S5
Representative Chaka Fattah insists that Stephen won the NASA node-naming contest fair and square.
03/30/2009
03:51
Me Time - Emily Yoffe on Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The Colbert Report
S5
What's wrong with thinking that you are better than everyone else if it's the truth?
03/30/2009
00:35
Intro - 3/30/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Is narcissism hurting America? More importantly, how does Stephen's hair look?
03/30/2009
03:08
Me Time - American Narcissism
The Colbert Report
S5
We need ambition, self-confidence and extreme good looks to rebuild America.
03/30/2009
02:39
Violence in Mexico
The Colbert Report
S5
Cross border drug traffic and violence could lead to the explosion of Lou Dobbs' head.
03/30/2009
00:11
30 Minute Applause
The Colbert Report
S5
Late viewers, just pretend that you applauded for Stephen for 30 minutes.
03/30/2009
00:31
Intro - 3/31/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Glenn Beck embarks on a new crusade, and David Plotz discusses every word of the Bible.
03/31/2009
07:53
The 10.31 Project
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen wants you to ring doorbells and demand that your neighbors make a tangible commitment to America in the form of a sugary treat.
03/31/2009
01:28
Obama's Epic Dog Quest
The Colbert Report
S5
The Obamas' epic search for a dog inspired Stephen to write his own children's book.
03/31/2009
04:48
David Plotz
The Colbert Report
S5
David Plotz learned that the Bible is a lot messier than what they teach in Sunday school.
03/31/2009
00:14
Sudoku Answers
The Colbert Report
S5
Spoiler alert: Stephen has the answers to today's sudoku.
03/31/2009
05:03
Better Know a Lobby - Newspaper Association of America
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen urges John Sturm to include a porn section in online newspapers to earn extra cash.
03/31/2009
04:47
Dambisa Moyo
The Colbert Report
S5
Dambisa Moyo wants to focus on long-term growth for Africa instead of temporary solutions.
04/01/2009
00:16
Hide-and-Seek
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
04/01/2009
05:14
The Word - Fine Line
The Colbert Report
S5
The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
04/01/2009
00:32
Intro - 4/1/09
The Colbert Report
S5
The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
04/01/2009
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