The Colbert Report

Make Lemonade

Season 5 • 04/06/2009

If life gives you the necessary ingredients, make lemonade.

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06:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & Space

Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
04/02/2009
02:10

The Colbert ReportS5
Cheney's Secret Assassination Squad

It's hard to believe Dick Cheney had the time to command a secret lawless assassination squad with all the secret lawless torture.
04/02/2009
00:18

The Colbert ReportS5
Let Your GPS Be Your Guide

Let your conscience be your guide until you can afford a GPS.
04/02/2009
07:09

The Colbert ReportS5
Biz Stone

Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, one of America's preeminent Twits, discusses the company's popularity and business model.
04/02/2009
05:00

The Colbert ReportS5
Space Module: Colbert - Urine Recycling Room

NASA, don't make Stephen launch an intern into space with a can of spray paint.
04/06/2009
00:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/6/09

Barack Obama travels around Europe, and new developments arise in the NASA node-naming contest.
04/06/2009
04:42

The Colbert ReportS5
Obama's European Trip - Tom Brokaw

Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
04/06/2009
02:28

The Colbert ReportS5
Un-American News - Rest of the World

Stephen loves Barack Obama, at least until he returns to the United States.
04/06/2009
03:14

The Colbert ReportS5
Body Loss

Getting paid for missing body parts is too tempting for Americans.
04/06/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Rich Lowry

Rich Lowry wants Republican principles to stay the same, but the application to change.
04/06/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Make Lemonade

If life gives you lemons, water, sugar and ice, make lemonade.
04/06/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Hiccup-Free

The Colbert Report is no longer hiccup-free.
04/07/2009
01:20

The Colbert ReportS5
Queen Noor's Royal Treatment

To make sure Stephen doesn't violate any royalty protocol, he's going to wear surgical gloves.
04/07/2009
04:55

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Morally Bankrupt

TV has so little societal value that Bill Gates is willing to pay to provide the most cursory positive messages.
04/07/2009
07:02

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a District - New York's 25th - Dan Maffei

Congressman Dan Maffei's "evil twin" tells Stephen why he loves cocaine and the company of prostitutes.
04/07/2009
06:21

The Colbert ReportS5
Queen Noor

Queen Noor will only knight Stephen after he signs the Global Zero declaration.
04/07/2009
00:35

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/7/09

Are TV networks desperate for revenue? Find out more on an all-new episode of "How I Met Your Pepsi."
04/07/2009
03:14

The Colbert ReportS5
Birkat Hachama - Stephen Frees His Jews

Birkat Hachama marks the time for Stephen to free his Jews.
04/08/2009
00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
Electronic Edition

Far too many of you still get the show delivered on paper.
04/08/2009
00:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/8/09

An update on Stephen's trip to the Persian Gulf, and Phil Bronstein discusses the death of newspapers.
04/08/2009
06:51

The Colbert ReportS5
Phil Bronstein

Stephen asks Phil Bronstein if the death of newspapers and journalistic oversight will begin a golden age of corruption.
04/08/2009
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