The Colbert Report

Make Lemonade

Season 5 • 04/06/2009

If life gives you the necessary ingredients, make lemonade.

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06:26

Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & Space
The Colbert ReportS5

Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
04/02/2009
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02:10

Cheney's Secret Assassination Squad
The Colbert ReportS5

It's hard to believe Dick Cheney had the time to command a secret lawless assassination squad with all the secret lawless torture.
04/02/2009
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00:18

Let Your GPS Be Your Guide
The Colbert ReportS5

Let your conscience be your guide until you can afford a GPS.
04/02/2009
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07:09

Biz Stone
The Colbert ReportS5

Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, one of America's preeminent Twits, discusses the company's popularity and business model.
04/02/2009
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05:00

Space Module: Colbert - Urine Recycling Room
The Colbert ReportS5

NASA, don't make Stephen launch an intern into space with a can of spray paint.
04/06/2009
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00:31

Intro - 4/6/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama travels around Europe, and new developments arise in the NASA node-naming contest.
04/06/2009
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04:42

Obama's European Trip - Tom Brokaw
The Colbert ReportS5

Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
04/06/2009
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02:28

Un-American News - Rest of the World
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen loves Barack Obama, at least until he returns to the United States.
04/06/2009
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03:14

Body Loss
The Colbert ReportS5

Getting paid for missing body parts is too tempting for Americans.
04/06/2009
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00:15

Rich Lowry
The Colbert ReportS5

Rich Lowry wants Republican principles to stay the same, but the application to change.
04/06/2009
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00:15

Make Lemonade
The Colbert ReportS5

If life gives you lemons, water, sugar and ice, make lemonade.
04/06/2009
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00:15

Hiccup-Free
The Colbert ReportS5

The Colbert Report is no longer hiccup-free.
04/07/2009
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01:20

Queen Noor's Royal Treatment
The Colbert ReportS5

To make sure Stephen doesn't violate any royalty protocol, he's going to wear surgical gloves.
04/07/2009
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04:55

The Word - Morally Bankrupt
The Colbert ReportS5

TV has so little societal value that Bill Gates is willing to pay to provide the most cursory positive messages.
04/07/2009
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07:02

Better Know a District - New York's 25th - Dan Maffei
The Colbert ReportS5

Congressman Dan Maffei's "evil twin" tells Stephen why he loves cocaine and the company of prostitutes.
04/07/2009
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06:21

Queen Noor
The Colbert ReportS5

Queen Noor will only knight Stephen after he signs the Global Zero declaration.
04/07/2009
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00:35

Intro - 4/7/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Are TV networks desperate for revenue? Find out more on an all-new episode of "How I Met Your Pepsi."
04/07/2009
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03:14

Birkat Hachama - Stephen Frees His Jews
The Colbert ReportS5

Birkat Hachama marks the time for Stephen to free his Jews.
04/08/2009
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00:14

Electronic Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

Far too many of you still get the show delivered on paper.
04/08/2009
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00:33

Intro - 4/8/09
The Colbert ReportS5

An update on Stephen's trip to the Persian Gulf, and Phil Bronstein discusses the death of newspapers.
04/08/2009
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06:51

Phil Bronstein
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen asks Phil Bronstein if the death of newspapers and journalistic oversight will begin a golden age of corruption.
04/08/2009
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