The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Stephen's Taxes
Season 3 • 04/17/2007
Stephen rushes to finish his taxes in two minutes.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Metaphor-Off Is On
Sean Penn picks up the gauntlet after Stephen draws a line in the sand.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Paul Wolfowitz
Stephen makes Paul Wolfowitz his Alpha Dog of the Week for lifting his leg on the World Bank.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Clean Slate
Stephen feels the only way Alberto Gonzales can get a clean slate is to clean his own slate.
The Colbert ReportS3 John Kerry
John Kerry hints that this may not be the first time he did not consider running for president.
The Colbert ReportS3 Elaine Pagels
Elaine Pagels tells Stephen about the gospel according to Judas.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Plan B
The president's Plan A in Iraq must be going according to plan; otherwise they'd already be implementing Plan B.
The Colbert ReportS3 Turtle Race Update
Stephen gives an update on his adopted turtle, Stephanie, as she makes her way to the Galapagos Islands.
The Colbert ReportS3 Metaphor-Off Training
To train for his Metaphor Off against Sean Penn, Stephen has been stretching his metonymies and doing synecdoche squats.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/17/07
Stephen questions President Bush's plans for Iraq, investigates a new study on teen abstinence and interviews author Elaine Pagels.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tip/Wag - Fake Sperm
Stephen wags his finger at abstinence education, cell phones, fake sperm and those who can't hack it.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Stephen's Taxes
Everyone clear a path between Stephen's studio and the 34th Street post office!
The Colbert ReportS3 Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer
According to the Pulitzer's, Henry Ward Beecher is the Most Famous Man in America, but the last time Stephen checked, he didn't have a diet named after him or a sex tape.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Branding
Corporations may not be used to having their names associated with human suffering, but think of the ad space.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/18/07
Britain stops using the phrase "war on terror," debate rises over bovine growth hormones and supermodel Paulina Porizkova joins Stephen in the studio.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Upcoming Metaphor-Off
Stephen's going to take on Sean Penn like white takes on rice.
The Colbert ReportS3 Milk & Hormones
Stephen shares an educational video about Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone, aka "Jesus Milk."
The Colbert ReportS3 National Library Week - Sebastian Junger
Author Sebastian Junger celebrates National Library Week by asking us to buy his books.
The Colbert ReportS3 National Library Week - David Remnick
David Remnick suggests that if you subscribe to the New Yorker but want even more unread material, visit your local library.
The Colbert ReportS3 National Library Week - Frank McCourt
English teacher Frank McCourt stresses the importance of books, but if he were a shop teacher he would be stressing the importance of plywood.
The Colbert ReportS3 Paulina Porizkova
Stephen can verify Paulina Porizkova as a supermodel because he is an arbiter of American taste.
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