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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Stephen's Taxes
Season 3 E 50 • 04/17/2007
Everyone clear a path between Stephen's studio and the 34th Street post office!
Show More
Watching
02:09
The Colbert Report
S3 E49
The Metaphor-Off Is On
Sean Penn picks up the gauntlet after Stephen draws a line in the sand.
04/16/2007
01:34
The Colbert Report
S3 E49
Alpha Dog of the Week - Paul Wolfowitz
Stephen makes Paul Wolfowitz his Alpha Dog of the Week for lifting his leg on the World Bank.
04/16/2007
03:51
The Colbert Report
S3 E49
The Word - Clean Slate
Stephen feels the only way Alberto Gonzales can get a clean slate is to clean his own slate.
04/16/2007
06:21
The Colbert Report
S3 E49
John Kerry
John Kerry hints that this may not be the first time he did not consider running for president.
04/16/2007
06:03
The Colbert Report
S3 E50
Elaine Pagels
Elaine Pagels tells Stephen about the gospel according to Judas.
04/17/2007
03:41
The Colbert Report
S3 E50
The Word - Plan B
The president's Plan A in Iraq must be going according to plan; otherwise they'd already be implementing Plan B.
04/17/2007
02:22
The Colbert Report
S3 E50
Turtle Race Update
Stephen gives an update on his adopted turtle, Stephanie, as she makes her way to the Galapagos Islands.
04/17/2007
02:06
The Colbert Report
S3 E50
Metaphor-Off Training
To train for his Metaphor Off against Sean Penn, Stephen has been stretching his metonymies and doing synecdoche squats.
04/17/2007
00:33
The Colbert Report
S3 E50
Intro - 4/17/07
Stephen questions President Bush's plans for Iraq, investigates a new study on teen abstinence and interviews author Elaine Pagels.
04/17/2007
04:13
The Colbert Report
S3 E50
Tip/Wag - Fake Sperm
Stephen wags his finger at abstinence education, cell phones, fake sperm and those who can't hack it.
04/17/2007
00:38
The Colbert Report
S3 E50
Sign Off - Stephen's Taxes
Everyone clear a path between Stephen's studio and the 34th Street post office!
04/17/2007
03:35
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer
According to the Pulitzer's, Henry Ward Beecher is the Most Famous Man in America, but the last time Stephen checked, he didn't have a diet named after him or a sex tape.
04/18/2007
03:37
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
The Word - Branding
Corporations may not be used to having their names associated with human suffering, but think of the ad space.
04/18/2007
00:30
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
Intro - 4/18/07
Britain stops using the phrase "war on terror," debate rises over bovine growth hormones and supermodel Paulina Porizkova joins Stephen in the studio.
04/18/2007
00:12
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
Sign Off - Upcoming Metaphor-Off
Stephen's going to take on Sean Penn like white takes on rice.
04/18/2007
04:38
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
Milk & Hormones
Stephen shares an educational video about Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone, aka "Jesus Milk."
04/18/2007
00:21
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
National Library Week - Sebastian Junger
Author Sebastian Junger celebrates National Library Week by asking us to buy his books.
04/18/2007
00:17
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
National Library Week - David Remnick
David Remnick suggests that if you subscribe to the New Yorker but want even more unread material, visit your local library.
04/18/2007
00:47
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
National Library Week - Frank McCourt
English teacher Frank McCourt stresses the importance of books, but if he were a shop teacher he would be stressing the importance of plywood.
04/18/2007
05:50
The Colbert Report
S3 E51
Paulina Porizkova
Stephen can verify Paulina Porizkova as a supermodel because he is an arbiter of American taste.
04/18/2007
00:30
The Colbert Report
S3 E52
Intro - 4/19/07
John Edwards spends $400 on a haircut, and Sean Penn faces off against Stephen in an epic battle of the metaphors.
04/19/2007
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