The Colbert Report

Space Module: Colbert - Scientology's New Galactic Overlord

Season 5 • 03/04/2009

Stephen beats Xenu in NASA's space station module votes.

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00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
The Murderer Was Derek

For those of you just tuning in, the murderer was Derek.
03/03/2009
02:27

The Colbert ReportS5
Space Module: Colbert - Name NASA's Node 3 After Stephen

Colbert Nation is officially mobilized to get NASA's new space station node named "Colbert."
03/03/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/3/09

President Obama taxes the rich to pay for universal health care, and South Carolina may finally end gun prostitution.
03/03/2009
01:48

The Colbert ReportS5
Guns for Roses

Stephen doesn't like the idea of putting all these roses out on the streets with their pointy thorns.
03/03/2009
04:20

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Share the Wealth

If we're paying for the poor's health care, we need to make sure they stay healthy.
03/03/2009
04:28

The Colbert ReportS5
Carl Wilson

Carl Wilson tries to understand the popularity of Celine Dion in "Let's Talk About Love."
03/04/2009
00:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/4/09

Will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?
03/04/2009
07:12

The Colbert ReportS5
Doom Bunker - Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore

Stephen makes up horrific doomsday scenarios for Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore to discuss.
03/04/2009
00:03

The Colbert ReportS5
Goodnight

That's it for the show, everybody.
03/04/2009
04:07

The Colbert ReportS5
Doom Bunker - Glenn Beck's "War Room"

Stephen encourages Glenn Beck to crank up the crazy and rip off the knob.
03/04/2009
03:53

The Colbert ReportS5
Space Module: Colbert - Scientology's New Galactic Overlord

Stephen is ahead of Xenu in NASA's space station module votes, making him Scientology's new galactic overlord.
03/04/2009
01:24

The Colbert ReportS5
Obama's Swing Set

Stephen has to respect Barack Obama for putting together a swing set on the South Lawn.
03/05/2009
00:10

The Colbert ReportS5
Leave You Wanting More

Stephen likes to leave you wanting more.
03/05/2009
05:28

The Colbert ReportS5
Steven Johnson

Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
03/05/2009
00:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/5/09

The Obama administration goes after pundits. John King, set your magic screen to stun.
03/05/2009
04:44

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh doesn't care what the Constitution says, which is proof that he is the true leader of the Republican Party.
03/05/2009
07:50

The Colbert ReportS5
Market Psychology - Jim Cramer

Jim Cramer discusses the psychology of the open market with a backdrop of puppies and kittens.
03/05/2009
06:38

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis

Representative Cynthia Lummis judges a selection of Stephen's meats.
03/09/2009
05:59

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Locked and Loathed

Stephen longs for a day when gun owners no longer have to hide their relationships with their concealed weapons.
03/09/2009
00:27

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/9/09

If Stacy drugged Rex's drink, who is going to perform Felicia's brain surgery?
03/09/2009
00:08

The Colbert ReportS5
Sleep Tight, Abraham

Sleep tight, Abraham. You've got a big day tomorrow.
03/09/2009
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