The Colbert Report

Chris Kluwe

Season 9 • 01/08/2013

The Minnesota Vikings punter talks about marriage equality and his op-ed to Emmett Burns.

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05:30

Blood in the Water - Bill O'Reilly's Racial Insensitivity
The Colbert ReportS9

Wikipedia's elephants page has more protection than elephants, and the liberal media twists Bill O'Reilly's compliment about Asians.
01/07/2013
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04:59

Jimmy Wales
The Colbert ReportS9

Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales explains operating costs, censorship in China and the budding Wikivoyager.
01/07/2013
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00:07

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
01/07/2013
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02:44

Fiscal Cliff Deal & Disincentives
The Colbert ReportS9

Republicans accept President Obama's tax hikes on the wealthy, but luckily this horrible deal contains a few loopholes.
01/07/2013
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02:53

Stephen's Holiday Break
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen spends the first six days of vacation just going to the bathroom.
01/07/2013
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07:05

Cheating Death - Rage & Blood Transfusions
The Colbert ReportS9

People naturally blessed with soul-choking bitterness live longer than the terminally calm, and drinking young blood is a great alternative to exercising.
01/08/2013
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04:08

Bin Laden Film Controversy
The Colbert ReportS9

Since America is long overdue for a thorough investigation into its use of torture in movies, the Senate Intelligence Committee goes after "Zero Dark Thirty."
01/08/2013
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02:27

Postage Price Hike
The Colbert ReportS9

The USPS Forever Stamp goes up by one penny, which proves the government can't do anything right.
01/08/2013
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00:13

Sign Off - VACSA-TERN
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen sips on the blood of the young and admires himself in the mirror.
01/08/2013
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00:38

Intro - 1/8/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Science finds the key to a long, healthy life, "Zero Dark Thirty" stirs up controversy, and NFL punter Chris Kluwe discusses gay rights advocacy.
01/08/2013
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05:58

Chris Kluwe
The Colbert ReportS9

Chris Kluwe explains the punter's role and reiterates his support for pro-gay Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo.
01/08/2013
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05:19

Neil Shubin
The Colbert ReportS9

The biological scientist shares his book, "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People."
01/09/2013
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04:51

Gun Control Backlash
The Colbert ReportS9

Schools work armed officers into their prom themes, and former NRA President Marion Hammer knows that outlawing assault weapons is just another form of discrimination.
01/09/2013
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00:32

Intro - 1/9/13
The Colbert ReportS9

America considers gun control, a troubling food addiction surfaces, and paleontologist Neil Shubin finds the missing link between sea and land creatures.
01/09/2013
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03:38

Idaho's Walled & Armed Community
The Colbert ReportS9

An exciting real estate opportunity boasts family shooting ranges, a firearms factory and safety from federal thugs.
01/09/2013
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00:09

Sign Off - McGnaw the Gluten-Free Beaver
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight and gnaws on McGnaw's piece of wood.
01/09/2013
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06:18

Thought for Food - Wheat Addictions
The Colbert ReportS9

America gets hooked on a new substance that's just as addictive as crack: a loaf of bread.
01/09/2013
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03:00

Roadside Sofa Boning
The Colbert ReportS9

A 46-year-old man is arrested for having sex with a couch, so public schools start teaching safe sex with plastic slipcovers.
01/10/2013
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03:43

Benjamin Gibbard
The Colbert ReportS9

The lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie discusses his relatively universal solo album, "Former Lives."
01/10/2013
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05:19

Obama's Failed Second Term
The Colbert ReportS9

President Obama is turning out the way white males wanted him to, and Jack Lew's sloppy signature will make America's currency a laughingstock.
01/10/2013
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04:36

Tip/Wag - HAPIfork & Kevin Garnett
The Colbert ReportS9

A consumer technology keeps people from consuming, and Kevin Garnett dishes out some Hefty brand trash talk.
01/10/2013
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