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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Watermelon Warning
Season 9 • 02/06/2013
Stephen bites into David Miscavige's threat.
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Watching
04:21
Tip/Wag - Drunk Donating & "The Job" Reality Show
The Colbert Report
S9
Houston patrons vote on which charity should receive a bar's proceeds, and CBS turns America's unemployment problem into America's entertainment solution.
02/05/2013
03:57
Royal Remains
The Colbert Report
S9
Archeologists discover King Richard III's remains beneath a supermarket parking lot, which explains his famous last words: "My kingdom for a Hot Pocket!"
02/05/2013
06:24
Julie Andrews
The Colbert Report
S9
Julie Andrews discusses her Dame Commander rank, latest children's book and celebrated role as Mary Poppins.
02/05/2013
05:15
California's Heroic Hitchhiker
The Colbert Report
S9
A young man named Kai proves that hatchet-bearing hitchhikers are people too -- people who sometimes stop madmen from running loose on the freeway.
02/05/2013
00:36
Intro - 2/5/13
The Colbert Report
S9
There's a new way to donate to charity, Stephen honors an improbable hero, and Julie Andrews considers whether or not the hills are still alive.
02/05/2013
04:03
Stephen's Sister for Congress
The Colbert Report
S9
As an objective broadcast journalist, Stephen will not be mentioning that his sister is intelligent, hardworking, compassionate and dedicated to the people of South Carolina.
02/06/2013
00:35
Intro - 2/6/13
The Colbert Report
S9
A surprising candidate runs for Congress, America reassesses the penny, and Lawrence Wright promotes his book, "Going Clear."
02/06/2013
06:40
Lawrence Wright
The Colbert Report
S9
The Pulitzer Prize-winning author discusses his book, "Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief."
02/06/2013
05:01
The Penny Pinch
The Colbert Report
S9
If America follows Canada's lead and gets rid of the penny, what will people leave in the take-a-penny leave-a-penny trays?
02/06/2013
03:51
Scientology Church Violence
The Colbert Report
S9
Scientology affords an ad in the Super Bowl, and former employees claim that President David Miscavige physically abuses and locks away staff.
02/06/2013
00:11
Sign Off - Watermelon Warning
The Colbert Report
S9
Stephen responds to Scientology President David Miscavige.
02/06/2013
08:00
Mr. Smith Goes to the State Legislature - Stacey Campfield
The Colbert Report
S9
Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield goes after sexuality in schools and the freeloadiest of all American freeloaders.
02/07/2013
00:06
Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert Report
S9
Stephen says goodnight.
02/07/2013
02:59
Winter Storm Nemo
The Colbert Report
S9
People in the Northeast prepare for a historic blizzard by salting their driveways, meats and loved ones.
02/07/2013
06:12
Benh Zeitlin
The Colbert Report
S9
The Oscar-nominated director discusses his film collective, Court 13, and Louisiana communities that sit on the wrong side of the levee.
02/07/2013
00:41
Intro - 2/7/13
The Colbert Report
S9
A new plan helps students succeed in school, social media enjoys a breakthrough, and director Benh Zeitlin talks about his Oscar-nominated film.
02/07/2013
02:53
"Bang with Friends" App
The Colbert Report
S9
What happened to the old days of wooing someone by waiting for last call and shambling into a cab with any nonresistant warm body?
02/07/2013
03:13
Bush Family Email Hack
The Colbert Report
S9
Hackers have no right to spread George W. Bush's personal information all over the Internet -- that's Facebook's job.
02/11/2013
04:24
Pope's Resignation & Papal Speculatron 7500 - James Martin
The Colbert Report
S9
Father Jim Martin explains the papal election process, ex-pope etiquette and the unlikelihood of getting an American pope.
02/11/2013
07:48
Pope's Resignation & Papal Speculatron 7500
The Colbert Report
S9
Pope Benedict XVI considers a greeter job at Walmart, and early pope race favorites include candidates from Canada, Italy, Ghana and America.
02/11/2013
05:27
Garry Wills
The Colbert Report
S9
Gary Willis, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author, talks about transubstantiation, Catholic priesthood and all the trouble that comes from the book of Hebrews.
02/11/2013
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"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short Treks
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10/12/2022
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This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022