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The Colbert Report
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About
The Colbert Report
Bill Simmons
Season 5 • 10/29/2009
Bill Simmons says baseball is the national pastime for people over 50.
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Watching
05:48
The Word - You-Genics
The Colbert Report
S5
Your baby will never be denied health coverage for being too fat or too skinny if you mate with an insurance company CEO.
10/28/2009
01:31
Joe Lieberman Is a True Independent
The Colbert Report
S5
Joe Lieberman proves he's independent of his Connecticut constituents by opposing a public option in health care reform.
10/28/2009
01:44
Sign Off - Future Stephen
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen will stick a fork into a toaster unless his future self comes back to stop him.
10/28/2009
06:05
Brian Cox
The Colbert Report
S5
Physicist Brian Cox, one of People Magazine's Sexiest Men Alive, discusses relativity and scientific bollocks.
10/28/2009
04:12
Big Bang Theory
The Colbert Report
S5
Physicists theorize that the Large Hadron Collider is being sabotaged from the future.
10/28/2009
01:52
USA Today Slams Dirigibles
The Colbert Report
S5
The USA Today smears the dirigible industry based on the technicality that the ships explode.
10/29/2009
00:14
Sign Off - Thanks to Bill Simmons & Rosanne Cash
The Colbert Report
S5
Put Rosanne Cash's new album on your list and drop some cash on it.
10/29/2009
00:30
Intro - 10/29/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Gitmo prisoners may have been tortured with rock music, and Bill Simmons talks about his 700-page book on basketball.
10/29/2009
06:37
We Got the Beating - Rosanne Cash
The Colbert Report
S5
Rosanne Cash explains why she doesn't want her music used to torture Gitmo detainees.
10/29/2009
05:12
ThreatDown - Halloween Edition
The Colbert Report
S5
Halloween masks spread the H1N1 virus, candy sends kids toward a life of crime, and dogs wear matching sexy costumes.
10/29/2009
05:13
Bill Simmons
The Colbert Report
S5
Bill Simmons believes Wilt Chamberlain was gay and compares Kobe Bryant to Teen Wolf.
10/29/2009
00:23
Intro - 11/2/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Nicholas Thompson isn't going to show his face anytime soon after getting nailed by Stephen.
11/02/2009
03:20
Alpha Dog of the Week - Arnold Schwarzenegger
The Colbert Report
S5
Arnold Schwarzenegger comes up with the dirtiest hidden word puzzle since they discontinued the kid's menu at Hooters.
11/02/2009
01:43
Used Karzai
The Colbert Report
S5
Hamid Karzai is declared the winner of the Afghan election after Abdullah Abdullah withdraws from the race.
11/02/2009
05:32
Nicholas Thompson
The Colbert Report
S5
Nicholas Thompson describes the lives of two friends -- Paul Nitze and George Kennan -- battling over the U.S. approach to the Cold War.
11/02/2009
07:34
Sport Report - NYC Marathon & Olympic Speedskating
The Colbert Report
S5
An American finally wins the New York City marathon, and the Colbert Nation becomes the official sponsor of the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/02/2009
00:21
Sign Off - Donate to the U.S. Speedskating Team
The Colbert Report
S5
Make sure that it's America's 38-inch thighs on the Olympics medal platform by donating to the U.S. speedskating team.
11/02/2009
02:00
Canadian Hackers Sabotage Colbert Nation
The Colbert Report
S5
Despite Canadian hackers taking down the donations link, you heroes have already raised $40,000 for the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/03/2009
00:18
Sign Off - They Call Me Mister Fry
The Colbert Report
S5
If you are going to be in New York, check out "They Call Me Mister Fry" at the Comic Strip Live.
11/03/2009
07:20
Andrew Sullivan
The Colbert Report
S5
Andrew Sullivan details Barack Obama's achievements in improved international relations, health care reform and bipartisanship.
11/03/2009
05:38
Nailed 'Em - Mormon Church Trespassing
The Colbert Report
S5
The Mormon Church arrested Derek Jones and Matt Aune for criminal trespassing, not for being gay.
11/03/2009
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