The Colbert Report
The Metric System
Season 3 • 09/24/2007
The metric system is two cubic meters of b.s. in a one cubic meter bag.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 9/20/07
Tonight, Stephen investigates a U.S. contractor getting kicked out of Iraq, reports on Russian population initiatives and interviews legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin.
The Colbert ReportS3 ThreatDown - Us
Tonight's threats are salad, Slavic intercourse, el Chupacabra, the Bingham Company and us.
The Colbert ReportS3 Blistering Rebuttal
How are you supposed to protest an abuse of authority when an authority figure told you not to?
The Colbert ReportS3 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Mayo Kitchen
The hottest new restaurant in Tokyo is the Mayonnaise Kitchen, where you can get mayo on everything.
The Colbert ReportS3 Rabbi Fish
Tomorrow is the last chance for the children of Israel to own up to whatever it is they've done to Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Honniball
Percy Honniball is man enough to use the tool belt God gave him.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 9/24/07
Iran's president speaks at an Ivy League university, Congress censures MoveOn.org and Stephen nails Thomas Friedman.
The Colbert ReportS3 Thomas L. Friedman
Stephen asks Thomas Friedman what it feels like to be a guy who's passionate about UPS.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Na Na-Na Na Na Na
We owe a debt of gratitude to the Senate for reminding us that words can hurt.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Stephen Accepts Your Apologies
This year 1-888-OOPS-JEW shared the line with 1-888-MOPS-KEY, a consumer help line for finding the best prices on janitorial equipment.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Metric System
Stephen's been railing against the metric system since he was a midday anchor in 1987.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 9/25/07
Stephen sits down with author John Grisham and learns that half of the world's languages are going extinct.
The Colbert ReportS3 No Nuclear Iran
The New York Times issues a mea culpa for giving MoveOn.org the "blame America" discount.
The Colbert ReportS3 K. David Harrison
Stephen asks K. David Harrison, author of "When Languages Die," if he's translating his book into any dying languages.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tip/Wag - Muslim Hipsters
Thank you, Muslim hipsters -- by wearing ironic T-shirts, you make the TSA's job that much easier.
The Colbert ReportS3 John Grisham
John Grisham is taking a break from writing about lawyers. Now he's writing about pizzas.
The Colbert ReportS3 Indecision 2008: Don't F%#k This Up America - Giuliani
Dustin Hoffman and Rudy Giuliani have been at each other ever since Hoffman beat out the former mayor for the lead in "Tootsie."
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 9/26/07
Tonight, Stephen reports on NBC and iTunes, questions the validity of a third political party, and interviews Tony Bennett.
The Colbert ReportS3 Forgiving Bennett
Stephen couldn't stay mad at Tony Bennett after listening to his Emmy acceptance speech.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - A Word From Our Sponsors
With the new NBC Direct, you can't fast forward through the commercials -- you're that in control.
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