The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 01/21/2013
Stephen mounts a pile of Bibles and swears in as Commander-in-Opposing-the-Chief.
The Colbert ReportS9 Akhil Reed Amar
The legal scholar shares his book, "America's Unwritten Constitution: The Precedents and Principles We Live By."
The Colbert ReportS9 Corporate Scamwich
Two New York Post reporters expose a massive corporate conspiracy through an investigative journalism technique known as lunch.
The Colbert ReportS9 Porn Names & Porn Lawsuits
Megyn Kelly's porn name is not as good of a porn name as "Megyn Kelly," and a major adult filmmaker challenges L.A.'s condom law for porn actors.
The Colbert ReportS9 Obama's Gun Grab
Since King Gun Snatcher the Magnificent knew his gun policies weren't going to pass the smell test, he stoops to surrounding himself with children during his speech.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/21/13
The Presidential Inauguration kicks off, America gets the flu, and The Atlantic's Ta-Nehisi Coates talks about Obama's next four years.
The Colbert ReportS9 Obama's Second Inauguration
The President swears in on Lincoln's Bible to ride the popularity of Spielberg's blockbuster, and inaugural guest James Taylor signifies how far America has come as a nation.
The Colbert ReportS9 Ta-Nehisi Coates
Ta-Nehisi Coates discusses President Obama's reelection, the Black Panther Party and Michelle Obama's youthful hairdo.
The Colbert ReportS9 ThreatDown - Flu, Kate Middleton, Vomiting Robots, Superintelligent Gonorrhea, Bears
America quarantines children, Kate Middleton popularizes puking, British researchers create a projectile vomiting robot, and gonorrhea outsmarts drugs.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Hotel Bibles
Stephen stretches out on a bed of inauguration Bibles from Lincoln, NE.
The Colbert ReportS9 Stephen's Re-Inauguration
Stephen pledges to defend the Constitution and ensure that Barack Obama is a one two-term president.
The Colbert ReportS9 Dustin Hoffman's Bad News
Dustin Hoffman cuts Stephen's character from "Quartet," so Stephen gets even.
The Colbert ReportS9 Kathryn Bigelow
The Academy Award-winning director discusses the Senate investigation into "Zero Dark Thirty" and the hot-button issue of torture.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - "Zero Dark Thirty" & "Quartet"
Stephen reprises his role in Dustin Hoffman's film.
The Colbert ReportS9 Obama's Inauguration & Class Warfare
Fox News knocks Obama's "big government" speech and uses "Downton Abbey" to prove that America loves wealthy aristocrats.
The Colbert ReportS9 The Word - Win, Lose, or Redraw
Since the losing party never gets to pick the president, Republican legislators propose allocating electoral college votes by congressional district.
The Colbert ReportS9 Tip/Wag - Montpelier School District, TheAtlasphere.com & Florida Officials
An Ohio school arms its janitors, The Atlasphere helps Ayn Rand lovers find love, and Florida addresses its python problem.
The Colbert ReportS9 Alpha Dog of the Week - Virginia State Senate Republicans
Republicans push a redrawn state political map past Democrats by introducing it on a day when one Democrat was off attending Obama's inauguration.
The Colbert ReportS9 Beyonce's Lip-Gate
America was led to believe that Beyonce had delivered the most stirring rendition of the national anthem since Francis Scott Key sang it at the first Super Bowl.
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