The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 01/21/2013
Stephen mounts a pile of Bibles and swears in as Commander-in-Opposing-the-Chief.
Akhil Reed AmarThe Colbert ReportS9
The legal scholar shares his book, "America's Unwritten Constitution: The Precedents and Principles We Live By."
Corporate ScamwichThe Colbert ReportS9
Two New York Post reporters expose a massive corporate conspiracy through an investigative journalism technique known as lunch.
Porn Names & Porn LawsuitsThe Colbert ReportS9
Megyn Kelly's porn name is not as good of a porn name as "Megyn Kelly," and a major adult filmmaker challenges L.A.'s condom law for porn actors.
Obama's Gun GrabThe Colbert ReportS9
Since King Gun Snatcher the Magnificent knew his gun policies weren't going to pass the smell test, he stoops to surrounding himself with children during his speech.
Intro - 1/21/13The Colbert ReportS9
The Presidential Inauguration kicks off, America gets the flu, and The Atlantic's Ta-Nehisi Coates talks about Obama's next four years.
Obama's Second InaugurationThe Colbert ReportS9
The President swears in on Lincoln's Bible to ride the popularity of Spielberg's blockbuster, and inaugural guest James Taylor signifies how far America has come as a nation.
Ta-Nehisi CoatesThe Colbert ReportS9
Ta-Nehisi Coates discusses President Obama's reelection, the Black Panther Party and Michelle Obama's youthful hairdo.
ThreatDown - Flu, Kate Middleton, Vomiting Robots, Superintelligent Gonorrhea, BearsThe Colbert ReportS9
America quarantines children, Kate Middleton popularizes puking, British researchers create a projectile vomiting robot, and gonorrhea outsmarts drugs.
Sign Off - Hotel BiblesThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen stretches out on a bed of inauguration Bibles from Lincoln, NE.
Stephen's Re-InaugurationThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen pledges to defend the Constitution and ensure that Barack Obama is a one two-term president.
Dustin Hoffman's Bad NewsThe Colbert ReportS9
Dustin Hoffman cuts Stephen's character from "Quartet," so Stephen gets even.
Kathryn BigelowThe Colbert ReportS9
The Academy Award-winning director discusses the Senate investigation into "Zero Dark Thirty" and the hot-button issue of torture.
Sign Off - "Zero Dark Thirty" & "Quartet"The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen reprises his role in Dustin Hoffman's film.
Obama's Inauguration & Class WarfareThe Colbert ReportS9
Fox News knocks Obama's "big government" speech and uses "Downton Abbey" to prove that America loves wealthy aristocrats.
The Word - Win, Lose, or RedrawThe Colbert ReportS9
Since the losing party never gets to pick the president, Republican legislators propose allocating electoral college votes by congressional district.
Tip/Wag - Montpelier School District, TheAtlasphere.com & Florida OfficialsThe Colbert ReportS9
An Ohio school arms its janitors, The Atlasphere helps Ayn Rand lovers find love, and Florida addresses its python problem.
Alpha Dog of the Week - Virginia State Senate RepublicansThe Colbert ReportS9
Republicans push a redrawn state political map past Democrats by introducing it on a day when one Democrat was off attending Obama's inauguration.
Beyonce's Lip-GateThe Colbert ReportS9
America was led to believe that Beyonce had delivered the most stirring rendition of the national anthem since Francis Scott Key sang it at the first Super Bowl.
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