The Colbert Report
Intro - 4/22/09
Season 5 • 04/22/2009
Why wasn't Stephen at the Summit of the Americas? He is Americas.
George Will's Demon DenimThe Colbert ReportS5
George Will launches a righteous attack against Satan's denim leg tubes.
Who's Riding My Coattails Now? - Blown Away by the USAThe Colbert ReportS5
Act now and receive Stephen's patriotic CD collection: "Blown Away by the USA," "Stunned by the States" and "Flabbergasted by the Flag."
Intro - 4/21/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama releases CIA torture memos. It's like the greatest hits of our greatest hits.
Mike KrzyzewskiThe Colbert ReportS5
Mike Krzyzewski differentiates between teamwork and socialism.
Special DVD CommentaryThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen offers special DVD commentary for those who recorded tonight's show and burned it onto a DVD.
Ira GlassThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants to know if Ira Glass will be just as lifeless hosting a live cinema performance as he is on the radio.
"The Price Is Right" Goes GreenThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen bids less than a dollar on environmentally friendly prizes.
Summit of All FearsThe Colbert ReportS5
Esteban Colberto believes Barack Obama has bigger plantains to fry than the Summit of the Americas.
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - QatarThe Colbert ReportS5
Alcohol and pornography aren't allowed in Qatar, but they didn't say anything about O'Doul's and the Talbots catalogue.
Never Go to Bed AngryThe Colbert ReportS5
Don't go to bed angry. Stephen will do that for you.
Intro - 4/22/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama returns from the Summit of the Americas, and Stephen looks forward to making fun of Ira Glass' glasses.
The Word - Brunt DoubleThe Colbert ReportS5
Until we can all agree on whom we should be angry at, tearing each other apart is the best plan we've got.
Intro - 4/23/09The Colbert ReportS5
Who is to blame for the economic crisis? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the ducks probably did it.
Illegitimate Grandson of an AlligatorThe Colbert ReportS5
Have you heard the rumor that Bill Posey's grandmother had her alligator baby out of wedlock?
Elizabeth BintliffThe Colbert ReportS5
Elizabeth Bintliff brings along Daisy the Cow to promote Heifer International, an organization that delivers livestock to developing countries.
America Does Not Swear On CameraThe Colbert ReportS5
Shepard Smith swearing on camera isn't something one gets away with like torture.
Days of Swine and DosesThe Colbert ReportS5
The swine flu virus contains a little something from pig, bird and human -- just like Stephen's paella recipe.
Shout Out - Kids EditionThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen promises never to eat Ewok, provides some child-safe Nazi footage and raises the competition on donorschoose.org.
The DecemberistsThe Colbert ReportS5
Colin Meloy describes The Decemberists' latest album by listing influences Stephen's never heard of.
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