The Colbert Report

Intro - 4/22/09

Season 5 • 04/22/2009

Why wasn't Stephen at the Summit of the Americas? He is Americas.

More

Watching

description unavailable
03:12

George Will's Demon Denim
The Colbert ReportS5

George Will launches a righteous attack against Satan's denim leg tubes.
04/21/2009
description unavailable
03:44

Who's Riding My Coattails Now? - Blown Away by the USA
The Colbert ReportS5

Act now and receive Stephen's patriotic CD collection: "Blown Away by the USA," "Stunned by the States" and "Flabbergasted by the Flag."
04/21/2009
description unavailable
00:29

Intro - 4/21/09
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama releases CIA torture memos. It's like the greatest hits of our greatest hits.
04/21/2009
description unavailable
05:22

Mike Krzyzewski
The Colbert ReportS5

Mike Krzyzewski differentiates between teamwork and socialism.
04/21/2009
description unavailable
00:17

Special DVD Commentary
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen offers special DVD commentary for those who recorded tonight's show and burned it onto a DVD.
04/21/2009
description unavailable
06:00

Ira Glass
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants to know if Ira Glass will be just as lifeless hosting a live cinema performance as he is on the radio.
04/22/2009
description unavailable
02:03

"The Price Is Right" Goes Green
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen bids less than a dollar on environmentally friendly prizes.
04/22/2009
description unavailable
05:33

Summit of All Fears
The Colbert ReportS5

Esteban Colberto believes Barack Obama has bigger plantains to fry than the Summit of the Americas.
04/22/2009
description unavailable
05:32

Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Qatar
The Colbert ReportS5

Alcohol and pornography aren't allowed in Qatar, but they didn't say anything about O'Doul's and the Talbots catalogue.
04/22/2009
description unavailable
00:12

Never Go to Bed Angry
The Colbert ReportS5

Don't go to bed angry. Stephen will do that for you.
04/22/2009
description unavailable
00:35

Intro - 4/22/09
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama returns from the Summit of the Americas, and Stephen looks forward to making fun of Ira Glass' glasses.
04/22/2009
description unavailable
00:10

Goodnight, Daisy
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen bids goodnight to Daisy the Cow.
04/23/2009
description unavailable
05:14

The Word - Brunt Double
The Colbert ReportS5

Until we can all agree on whom we should be angry at, tearing each other apart is the best plan we've got.
04/23/2009
description unavailable
00:39

Intro - 4/23/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Who is to blame for the economic crisis? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the ducks probably did it.
04/23/2009
description unavailable
03:27

Illegitimate Grandson of an Alligator
The Colbert ReportS5

Have you heard the rumor that Bill Posey's grandmother had her alligator baby out of wedlock?
04/23/2009
description unavailable
05:47

Elizabeth Bintliff
The Colbert ReportS5

Elizabeth Bintliff brings along Daisy the Cow to promote Heifer International, an organization that delivers livestock to developing countries.
04/23/2009
description unavailable
04:26

America Does Not Swear On Camera
The Colbert ReportS5

Shepard Smith swearing on camera isn't something one gets away with like torture.
04/23/2009
description unavailable
02:04

Days of Swine and Doses
The Colbert ReportS5

The swine flu virus contains a little something from pig, bird and human -- just like Stephen's paella recipe.
04/27/2009
description unavailable
06:58

Shout Out - Kids Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen promises never to eat Ewok, provides some child-safe Nazi footage and raises the competition on donorschoose.org.
04/27/2009
description unavailable
03:36

The Decemberists
The Colbert ReportS5

Colin Meloy describes The Decemberists' latest album by listing influences Stephen's never heard of.
04/27/2009
description unavailable
01:43

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fir Tree Lung
The Colbert ReportS5

Christmas trees are supposed to warm the cockles of our hearts, not infest the alveoli of our lungs.
04/27/2009
You may also like5 Videos
description unavailable
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
description unavailable
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
description unavailable
Trailer
01:22

Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
Out of Office

A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
description unavailable
Trailer
00:35

A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
South ParkS25

Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022
description unavailable
Trailer
00:29

Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday
Hot Mess Holiday

Melanie Chandra and Surina Jindal embark on a zany weekend adventure during Diwali in the Comedy Central original movie Hot Mess Holiday, now streaming.
12/20/2021