The Colbert Report
Sign Off - "Damascus Countdown"
Season 9 • 09/18/2013
Stephen reads about the end times.
The Colbert ReportS9 Soul-Rending Cheerios Ad
Cheerios leverages the death of a grandparent and joins the ranks of undead endorsed cereals like Count Chocula.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 9/17/13
The rich have it better than the poor, the cereal industry makes progress, and U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan sits down with Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS9 The People's Republic of Obamastan & Forbes 400 Losers
President Obama pits the unattainably rich against the unimaginably rich, and 61 billionaires fail to make the Forbes 400 list.
The Colbert ReportS9 Colbert Platinum - Luxury Ice & Hot Dic-Tip
Dean & DeLuca advertises 10 hand-carved ice cubes for $75, and Jennifer Lopez sings "Happy Birthday" to an Asian despot.
The Colbert ReportS9 Arne Duncan
U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan discusses Obama's Race to the Top initiative and Preschool for All program.
The Colbert ReportS9 Navy Yard Shooting & Gun Violence Causes
Fox News complains about background checks after the Navy Yard shooting, and Eric Bolling wonders who started blaming video games for gun violence.
The Colbert ReportS9 Syria Conflict & End Times Prophecy
According to Fox News' Neil Cavuto and Armageddon enthusiast Joel Rosenberg, the Syrian conflict may bring about the apocalypse.
The Colbert ReportS9 Nicholson Baker
Author Nicholson Baker discusses his garden metaphor for life and his desire to rename genitalia.
The Colbert ReportS9 United Nations on Syria Conflict - Andrew Sullivan
Political blogger Andrew Sullivan trusts the U.N. Security Council more than America to resolve the crisis in Syria.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - "Damascus Countdown"
Stephen reads Joel Rosenberg's apocalyptic novel.
The Colbert ReportS9 Jack Johnson
Singer-songwriter Jack Johnson talks about rock 'n' roll, the "Hawaiian Grammys" and love songs.
The Colbert ReportS9 Tip/Wag - Hammunition & George Clooney
An Idaho company creates pork-laced bullets to fight Muslim extremists, and George Clooney uses a spy satellite to track Omar al-Bashir's army in Sudan.
The Colbert ReportS9 Obamacare Navigators
Republican lawmakers in Florida restrict Obamacare navigators because they might steal the identity of the uninsured poor.
The Colbert ReportS9 Obamacare Government Shutdown
Republicans threaten to shut down the federal government if Democrats don't vote to defund Obamacare.
The Colbert ReportS9 Michelle Obama's H2O Campaign
First Lady Michelle Obama crams her pro-health agenda down Americans' throats -- throats that should be packed with chili cheese fries.
The Colbert ReportS9 On Notice - Pope Francis - Jim Martin
Father Jim Martin talks about Pope Francis' views on conservative Catholic rules and lavish popemobiles.
The Colbert ReportS9 On Notice - Pope Francis
Pope "Kumbaya" Francis drops papal bombshells during an interview, like accepting gay people and embracing female leadership in the church.
The Colbert ReportS9 Stephen's Emmy Awards
Stephen makes a verbal gaffe while accepting an Emmy, and Jon Stewart couldn't be happier about Stephen's win.
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