YOUR FAVORITE COMEDY CENTRAL SHOWS ARE ON PARAMOUNT+
GET PARAMOUNT+
Home
Shows
Awkwafina is Nora from Queens
Mike Judge's Beavis and Butt-Head
Comedy Central Roasts
The Daily Show
Digman!
RENO 911!
South Park
Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out the News
ALL SHOWS
FULL EPISODES
PLUTO TV
TV Schedule
LIVE TV
Stand-Up
Digital Originals
Original Movies
A Clüsterfünke Christmas
Cursed Friends
Hot Mess Holiday
Out Of Office
Reno 911!: It's A Wonderful Heist
All Movies
App
SHOP
MIKE JUDGE'S BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD SHOP
DRUNK HISTORY SHOP
South Park Shop
WORKAHOLICS SHOP
Comedy Central Shop
The Colbert Report
Menu
Episodes & Videos
About
The Colbert Report
God's Pet Chimp
Season 3 • 04/19/2007
Man was created in God's image; chimps were created in God's chimp's image.
More
Watching
04:38
The Colbert Report
S3
Milk & Hormones
Stephen shares an educational video about Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone, aka "Jesus Milk."
04/18/2007
00:21
The Colbert Report
S3
National Library Week - Sebastian Junger
Author Sebastian Junger celebrates National Library Week by asking us to buy his books.
04/18/2007
00:17
The Colbert Report
S3
National Library Week - David Remnick
David Remnick suggests that if you subscribe to the New Yorker but want even more unread material, visit your local library.
04/18/2007
00:47
The Colbert Report
S3
National Library Week - Frank McCourt
English teacher Frank McCourt stresses the importance of books, but if he were a shop teacher he would be stressing the importance of plywood.
04/18/2007
05:50
The Colbert Report
S3
Paulina Porizkova
Stephen can verify Paulina Porizkova as a supermodel because he is an arbiter of American taste.
04/18/2007
00:30
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 4/19/07
John Edwards spends $400 on a haircut, and Sean Penn faces off against Stephen in an epic battle of the metaphors.
04/19/2007
05:00
The Colbert Report
S3
Sean Penn
Stephen asks Sean Penn if he snuck weapons of mass destruction out of Iraq in a bulky raincoat to embarrass the president.
04/19/2007
00:33
The Colbert Report
S3
Hyperbole-Off
Stephen may have lost the Meta-Free-Phor-All to Sean Penn, but he will not lose his upcoming Hyperbole-Off to George Clooney.
04/19/2007
08:27
The Colbert Report
S3
Meta-Free-Phor-All: Shall I Nail Thee to a Summer's Day?
Stephen has a metaphor for Sean Penn: Sean Penn is a big mean jerk, and Stephen hates him.
04/19/2007
02:59
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - $400 Haircut
Sure, John Edwards grew up poor, but if he really cared about the poor, he would have stayed poor.
04/19/2007
02:34
The Colbert Report
S3
God's Pet Chimp
Human DNA has stopped evolving because God got us right the first time when he intelligently designed us.
04/19/2007
02:08
The Colbert Report
S3
Stephanie's Winning!
Stephen's adopted turtle, Stephanie Colbertle, is leading the Great Turtle Race, while two other lady turtles hang back at the nesting grounds, listening to Melissa Etheridge.
04/23/2007
00:42
The Colbert Report
S3
Gonzales Forgot
Alberto Gonzales said 71 times that he couldn't remember details on the U.S. attorney firings, but he only remembers saying it once.
04/23/2007
04:51
The Colbert Report
S3
ThreatDown - MySpace
It's bad enough that MySpace exposes our teens to child predators, now they're corrupting our youth with journalism.
04/23/2007
00:30
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 4/23/07
Conservatives want a fresh new face, Sheryl Crow confronts Karl Rove and Def Jam's Russell Simmons sits down with Stephen.
04/23/2007
04:58
The Colbert Report
S3
Mike Huckabee - Running Mate Bid
Mike Huckabee and Stephen talk about plastic fruit and rowing in paddleboats in Central Park.
04/23/2007
00:11
The Colbert Report
S3
Colbert Nation Online Discussion Group
Stephen speaks to those interested in joining a Colbert Nation discussion group.
04/23/2007
05:45
The Colbert Report
S3
Russell Simmons
Russell Simmons talks about Oprah, diamonds and the secret to success.
04/23/2007
03:22
The Colbert Report
S3
D.C. Voting Rights - Eleanor Holmes Norton
Stephen tells Eleanor Holmes Norton that this is the United States of America, not the United Districts of Columbia of America.
04/24/2007
03:18
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - Act Globally
According to the head of the EPA, George W. Bush is making major progress -- there is a 4/10ths of one percent reduction in the increase of greenhouse gasses.
04/24/2007
02:48
The Colbert Report
S3
60% Good News
When Stephen watches "Fox & Friends," he feels like he's watching a Disney movie about the news.
04/24/2007
You may also like
5 Videos
Trailer
01:00
Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack
A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
02:29
A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie
Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41
Cursed Friends
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
Trailer
01:22
Out of Office
Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
Trailer
00:35
South Park
S25
A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022