The Colbert Report
God's Pet Chimp
Season 3 • 04/19/2007
Man was created in God's image; chimps were created in God's chimp's image.
The Colbert ReportS3 Milk & Hormones
Stephen shares an educational video about Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone, aka "Jesus Milk."
The Colbert ReportS3 National Library Week - Sebastian Junger
Author Sebastian Junger celebrates National Library Week by asking us to buy his books.
The Colbert ReportS3 National Library Week - David Remnick
David Remnick suggests that if you subscribe to the New Yorker but want even more unread material, visit your local library.
The Colbert ReportS3 National Library Week - Frank McCourt
English teacher Frank McCourt stresses the importance of books, but if he were a shop teacher he would be stressing the importance of plywood.
The Colbert ReportS3 Paulina Porizkova
Stephen can verify Paulina Porizkova as a supermodel because he is an arbiter of American taste.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/19/07
John Edwards spends $400 on a haircut, and Sean Penn faces off against Stephen in an epic battle of the metaphors.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sean Penn
Stephen asks Sean Penn if he snuck weapons of mass destruction out of Iraq in a bulky raincoat to embarrass the president.
The Colbert ReportS3 Hyperbole-Off
Stephen may have lost the Meta-Free-Phor-All to Sean Penn, but he will not lose his upcoming Hyperbole-Off to George Clooney.
The Colbert ReportS3 Meta-Free-Phor-All: Shall I Nail Thee to a Summer's Day?
Stephen has a metaphor for Sean Penn: Sean Penn is a big mean jerk, and Stephen hates him.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - $400 Haircut
Sure, John Edwards grew up poor, but if he really cared about the poor, he would have stayed poor.
The Colbert ReportS3 God's Pet Chimp
Human DNA has stopped evolving because God got us right the first time when he intelligently designed us.
The Colbert ReportS3 Stephanie's Winning!
Stephen's adopted turtle, Stephanie Colbertle, is leading the Great Turtle Race, while two other lady turtles hang back at the nesting grounds, listening to Melissa Etheridge.
The Colbert ReportS3 Gonzales Forgot
Alberto Gonzales said 71 times that he couldn't remember details on the U.S. attorney firings, but he only remembers saying it once.
The Colbert ReportS3 ThreatDown - MySpace
It's bad enough that MySpace exposes our teens to child predators, now they're corrupting our youth with journalism.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/23/07
Conservatives want a fresh new face, Sheryl Crow confronts Karl Rove and Def Jam's Russell Simmons sits down with Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS3 Mike Huckabee - Running Mate Bid
Mike Huckabee and Stephen talk about plastic fruit and rowing in paddleboats in Central Park.
The Colbert ReportS3 Colbert Nation Online Discussion Group
Stephen speaks to those interested in joining a Colbert Nation discussion group.
The Colbert ReportS3 Russell Simmons
Russell Simmons talks about Oprah, diamonds and the secret to success.
The Colbert ReportS3 D.C. Voting Rights - Eleanor Holmes Norton
Stephen tells Eleanor Holmes Norton that this is the United States of America, not the United Districts of Columbia of America.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Act Globally
According to the head of the EPA, George W. Bush is making major progress -- there is a 4/10ths of one percent reduction in the increase of greenhouse gasses.
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