The Colbert Report
Season 2 • 06/28/2006
If you try to burn a Colbert-designed American flag, it will burn you back.
Sign Off - Rubber MopThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen shoos his audience out of the studio in favor of some limey bastard with a rubber mop.
Intro - 6/27/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen gets ready for a ball-to-ball interview with Chris Matthews.
The Word - Cold, Dead FingersThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen is frightened by the echo of a ricochet of a shadow of a chance that his recreational hunting might be taken away.
Chris MatthewsThe Colbert ReportS2
Chris Matthews shows Stephen who's got harder balls in a full-nelson breaking competition.
The Word - SupermanThe Colbert ReportS2
The New York Times wants you and your family dead -- they could learn a thing or two from Superman.
Robert BaerThe Colbert ReportS2
Robert Baer tells Stephen we invaded the wrong country, which does not penetrate Stephen's armor of belief.
The Smoking Side DishThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen will send a t-shirt to anyone who sends him a photo of Chris Matthews eating potatoes.
Intro - 6/28/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen reports on The New York Times, enlists citizens to cover the news, and interviews former CIA agent Robert Baer.
Sign Off - Mr. Potato HeadThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen urges viewers to keep sending in pictures of Chris Matthews eating potatoes.
Citizens in Action - Fondue It YourselfThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen has created his own core of citizen journalists who will report on the concerns of real Americans like you.
American FlagsThe Colbert ReportS2
If Congress can't protect our flags from desecration, we're going to have to teach our flags to defend themselves.
The President's BFFThe Colbert ReportS2
President Bush and Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi are BFFs. Following their lead, Stephen makes his own Japanese friend.
Farewell, Supreme CourtThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen does not like the Supreme Court's decision that the Bush administration does not have the authority to hold military trials for inmates at Guantanamo Bay.
The Word - Monkey ButterThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen proposes tracing the sexual activities of Americans with a microchip that has been injected into the "dirty area."
Difference Makers - Steve PelkeyThe Colbert ReportS2
Steve Pelkey's store in New Hampshire allows Massachusetts residents access to fireworks for the Fourth of July, making him the Harriet Tubman of fireworks.
Christopher NoxonThe Colbert ReportS2
Author Christopher Noxon defines the difference between adults who are childish and those who are childlike.
Intro - 6/29/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen reports on a pimp tax, fireworks laws, a book that claims adults act like children and America's birthday.
Star JonesThe Colbert ReportS2
In solidarity with Star Jones leaving "The View," Stephen is also leaving his show -- for a week.
Stephen's Sound Advice - Avoiding WildfiresThe Colbert ReportS2
By staying away from people and cutting down trees, you can greatly reduce the chances of starting a wildfire.
Intro - 7/10/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen discusses how more companies are cutting pensions, provides a special report on wildfires and interviews Amy Sedaris.
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