The Colbert Report

American Flags

Season 2 • 06/28/2006

If you try to burn a Colbert-designed American flag, it will burn you back.

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00:13

Sign Off - Rubber Mop
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen shoos his audience out of the studio in favor of some limey bastard with a rubber mop.
06/27/2006
00:32

Intro - 6/27/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen gets ready for a ball-to-ball interview with Chris Matthews.
06/27/2006
04:02

The Word - Cold, Dead Fingers
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen is frightened by the echo of a ricochet of a shadow of a chance that his recreational hunting might be taken away.
06/27/2006
06:54

Chris Matthews
The Colbert ReportS2

Chris Matthews shows Stephen who's got harder balls in a full-nelson breaking competition.
06/27/2006
04:51

The Word - Superman
The Colbert ReportS2

The New York Times wants you and your family dead -- they could learn a thing or two from Superman.
06/28/2006
06:06

Robert Baer
The Colbert ReportS2

Robert Baer tells Stephen we invaded the wrong country, which does not penetrate Stephen's armor of belief.
06/28/2006
02:21

The Smoking Side Dish
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will send a t-shirt to anyone who sends him a photo of Chris Matthews eating potatoes.
06/28/2006
00:33

Intro - 6/28/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reports on The New York Times, enlists citizens to cover the news, and interviews former CIA agent Robert Baer.
06/28/2006
00:17

Sign Off - Mr. Potato Head
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen urges viewers to keep sending in pictures of Chris Matthews eating potatoes.
06/28/2006
04:06

Citizens in Action - Fondue It Yourself
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen has created his own core of citizen journalists who will report on the concerns of real Americans like you.
06/28/2006
01:38

American Flags
The Colbert ReportS2

If Congress can't protect our flags from desecration, we're going to have to teach our flags to defend themselves.
06/28/2006
01:28

The President's BFF
The Colbert ReportS2

President Bush and Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi are BFFs. Following their lead, Stephen makes his own Japanese friend.
06/29/2006
03:00

Farewell, Supreme Court
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen does not like the Supreme Court's decision that the Bush administration does not have the authority to hold military trials for inmates at Guantanamo Bay.
06/29/2006
03:37

The Word - Monkey Butter
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen proposes tracing the sexual activities of Americans with a microchip that has been injected into the "dirty area."
06/29/2006
04:11

Difference Makers - Steve Pelkey
The Colbert ReportS2

Steve Pelkey's store in New Hampshire allows Massachusetts residents access to fireworks for the Fourth of July, making him the Harriet Tubman of fireworks.
06/29/2006
05:55

Christopher Noxon
The Colbert ReportS2

Author Christopher Noxon defines the difference between adults who are childish and those who are childlike.
06/29/2006
00:40

Intro - 6/29/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reports on a pimp tax, fireworks laws, a book that claims adults act like children and America's birthday.
06/29/2006
01:14

Star Jones
The Colbert ReportS2

In solidarity with Star Jones leaving "The View," Stephen is also leaving his show -- for a week.
06/29/2006
03:36

Stephen's Sound Advice - Avoiding Wildfires
The Colbert ReportS2

By staying away from people and cutting down trees, you can greatly reduce the chances of starting a wildfire.
07/10/2006
00:28

Intro - 7/10/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen discusses how more companies are cutting pensions, provides a special report on wildfires and interviews Amy Sedaris.
07/10/2006
01:49

Wilford Brimley Calls - Mexico
The Colbert ReportS2

Wilford Brimley calls Stephen at 3 a.m. from Mexico to borrow some pesos.
07/10/2006
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