The Colbert Report
Tip/Wag - Gay Building Marriage & Transportation Safety Board Cell Phone Ban
Season 8 • 02/14/2012
A woman marries a female building, and safety experts call for a ban on cell phone use in cars.
Stephen Colbert's Free Americone Dream DayThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen encourages members of Colbert Nation and their lovers to stop by Ben & Jerry's on February 14, 2012, for a free scoop of Americone Dream.
Intro - 2/13/12The Colbert ReportS8
The government cracks down on woodworking, Jimmy Fallon's ice cream war with Stephen heats up, and Bill McKibben discusses global warming.
People Who Are Destroying America - SawStopThe Colbert ReportS8
Finger hugger Steve Gass wants big government to force saw manufacturers to adopt his safety technology.
Bill McKibbenThe Colbert ReportS8
Activist Bill McKibben talks about the proposed Keystone XL oil pipeline and calls on Colbert Nation to sign his petition opposing its construction.
Linsanity!The Colbert ReportS8
You know things are rough when a Harvard economics grad like Jeremy Lin has an easier time getting a job as an NBA point guard than as a Wall Street bond trader.
Intro - 2/14/12The Colbert ReportS8
A health care mandate forces Catholic groups to provide birth control, government may ban cell phone use in cars, and William Broad studies the science of yoga.
Sign Off - Stephen's Friend Lou-DogThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen howls goodnight with his friend Lou.
Contraception CrusadeThe Colbert ReportS8
Barack Obama launches a vengeful health care crusade against the Catholic church, essentially forcing priests to hand out condoms at mass.
William BroadThe Colbert ReportS8
The New York Times' William Broad explores the sexual benefits of yoga as well as its potential health risks.
Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show 2012The Colbert ReportS8
Although surely wonderful in their own way, members of the shelter dog underclass are just not Kennel Club material.
Tip/Wag - Gay Building Marriage & Transportation Safety Board Cell Phone BanThe Colbert ReportS8
A Seattle woman saves a building by marrying it, and the National Transportation Safety Board rejects Americans' constitutional right to tear down the highway while texting.
Ann PatchettThe Colbert ReportS8
Novelist Ann Patchett discusses the importance of brick-and-mortar bookstores and explains what prompted her to open Parnassus Books in Nashville.
Sign Off - Caught LookingThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen admires his eyes in the mirror and says goodnight.
Rick Santorum's Energy War AlarmThe Colbert ReportS8
Rick Santorum calls on humans to husband the earth's resources before fracking her good all night long.
Intro - 2/20/12The Colbert ReportS8
Stephen quells wild Internet rumors about his time off and puts Joan Rivers' outrageous speculation to rest.
Mitt Romney & Donald Trump in MichiganThe Colbert ReportS8
Mitt Romney attempts to connect to Michigan voters and brings out the biggest, tannest, most leathery gun of them all: Donald Trump.
Sign Off - Dark Lord of the SithThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen transforms himself into a Sith Lord and cackles maniacally.
Intro - 2/21/12The Colbert ReportS8
Congress attacks Colbert Super PAC, a new sport takes America by storm, and Robert Kagan counsels Mitt Romney on international affairs.
Robert KaganThe Colbert ReportS8
Author Robert Kagan talks about advising Mitt Romney on foreign policy and explores America's use of military force in international affairs.
Colbert Super PAC - Nancy Pelosi's Ad & Barack Obama's Super PACThe Colbert ReportS8
Nancy Pelosi smears Stephen in an effort to pass the Disclose Act, and Barack Obama reverses his stand on super PACs as his reelection campaign solicits donations.
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