The Colbert Report
The Word - Symbol-Minded
Season 5 • 10/13/2009
The cross represents everybody: Christians and people who are going to hell.
The Colbert ReportS5 Fallback Position - James Blake
James Blake overcomes Stephen's total lack of athletic ability to transform him into a tennis champion.
The Colbert ReportS5 War of Peace - Shashi Tharoor
Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Thanks to the Guests
Stephen thanks Shashi Tharoor, James Blake and Sanjay Gupta for being his guests.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 10/12/09
The world has a peace prize in its pocket for Barack Obama, Dr. Sanjay Gupta keeps Larry King "live," and Stephen looks for a backup job.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sanjay Gupta
Sanjay Gupta wants to intervene in the process of death and possibly reverse it.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sylvia Earle
Sylvia Earle stresses the importance of doing everything we can to protect the ocean and restore health to the system that takes care of us.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Gmail
If you're watching on a computer, open up Gmail so Stephen can check some messages.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 10/13/09
Stephen tells babies to get a job, and Sylvia Earle prevents him from deep-frying a merman.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Born Supremacy - David Javerbaum
One of the most interesting things David Javerbaum discovered while researching his book is that pregnancy often affects the mother.
The Colbert ReportS5 Jermaine Maine Tweets Miley Cyrus Facts
Stephen's pop star alter ego, Jermaine Maine, posts Twitter updates about Miley Cyrus' life.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Symbol-Minded
The cross has nothing to do with Christianity -- it's just the normal symbol of the resting place of the dead. Download The Word NOW!
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Should Have Put a Ring On It
If you liked tonight's show, then you should have put a ring on it.
The Colbert ReportS5 Yahweh or No Way - Legislation Prayers & Fake Shroud of Turin
Special interest groups pray on issues like health care, and an Italian scientist makes a fake Shroud of Turin look like Cher with a mustache.
The Colbert ReportS5 The RZA
The RZA wants everyone to know that the truth shall set you free from all things.
The Colbert ReportS5 Pat Roberts Warns Against Health Care Box Canyon
Pat Roberts is concerned that health care reform is full of spending quicksand, cactus tax hikes and policy briar patches.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Obesity Epidemic - Amy Farrell
Amy Farrell believes the American government is misguided when it focuses on the obesity epidemic.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Stephen Unveils a New Portrait
Stephen unveils his brand new portrait on the four-year anniversary of The Colbert Report's first episode.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Coal Lobbyists, George Takei & Crispycones
A coal lobby represents non-existent Americans, George Takei threatens the sanctity of game shows, and Crispycones are too easy to eat.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Mayo-lution Will Not Be Televised
Stephen responds to Miracle Whip's advertising campaign with his own extreme ad for mayo.
The Colbert ReportS5 Jerry Mitchell
Thanks to Jerry Mitchell's investigations, four people have gone to jail for crimes they committed in the civil rights era.
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