The Colbert Report
Sign Off - "Zero Dark Thirty" & "Quartet"
Season 9 • 01/22/2013
Stephen plugs two films and plays the spoons.
Intro - 1/21/13The Colbert ReportS9
The Presidential Inauguration kicks off, America gets the flu, and The Atlantic's Ta-Nehisi Coates talks about Obama's next four years.
Obama's Second InaugurationThe Colbert ReportS9
The President swears in on Lincoln's Bible to ride the popularity of Spielberg's blockbuster, and inaugural guest James Taylor signifies how far America has come as a nation.
Ta-Nehisi CoatesThe Colbert ReportS9
Ta-Nehisi Coates discusses President Obama's reelection, the Black Panther Party and Michelle Obama's youthful hairdo.
Stephen's Re-InaugurationThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen pledges to defend the Constitution and ensure that Barack Obama is a one two-term president.
ThreatDown - Flu, Kate Middleton, Vomiting Robots, Superintelligent Gonorrhea, BearsThe Colbert ReportS9
America quarantines children, Kate Middleton popularizes puking, British researchers create a projectile vomiting robot, and gonorrhea outsmarts drugs.
Sign Off - Hotel BiblesThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen stretches out on a bed of inauguration Bibles from Lincoln, NE.
Dustin Hoffman's Bad NewsThe Colbert ReportS9
Dustin Hoffman cuts Stephen's character from "Quartet," so Stephen gets even.
Kathryn BigelowThe Colbert ReportS9
The Academy Award-winning director discusses the Senate investigation into "Zero Dark Thirty" and the hot-button issue of torture.
Obama's Inauguration & Class WarfareThe Colbert ReportS9
Fox News knocks Obama's "big government" speech and uses "Downton Abbey" to prove that America loves wealthy aristocrats.
The Word - Win, Lose, or RedrawThe Colbert ReportS9
Since the losing party never gets to pick the president, Republican legislators propose allocating electoral college votes by congressional district.
Sign Off - "Zero Dark Thirty" & "Quartet"The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen reprises his role in Dustin Hoffman's film.
Tip/Wag - Montpelier School District, TheAtlasphere.com & Florida OfficialsThe Colbert ReportS9
An Ohio school arms its janitors, The Atlasphere helps Ayn Rand lovers find love, and Florida addresses its python problem.
Alpha Dog of the Week - Virginia State Senate RepublicansThe Colbert ReportS9
Republicans push a redrawn state political map past Democrats by introducing it on a day when one Democrat was off attending Obama's inauguration.
Beyonce's Lip-GateThe Colbert ReportS9
America was led to believe that Beyonce had delivered the most stirring rendition of the national anthem since Francis Scott Key sang it at the first Super Bowl.
Sally FieldThe Colbert ReportS9
The award-winning actress talks about Mary Lincoln's tragic life, Hollywood and the audition that swayed Steven Spielberg.
France & The Mali ConflictThe Colbert ReportS9
Anti-gay protestors flood Paris, while French President Francoise Hollande pursues Al Qaeda in Mali with sophisticated helicopter gunship.
Benghazi Attack HearingThe Colbert ReportS9
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton stomps Senator Ron Johnson's Johnson during the Benghazi hearing, but conservative pundits say she faked her anger.
Sign Off - Stephen's MakeoverThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen takes Tavi Gevinson's fashion advice and embraces boy band hair.
Tavi GevinsonThe Colbert ReportS9
Fashionista Tavi Gevinson describes her online magazine, "Rookie, " the world of teenage girls, and effective fashion styles for Stephen.
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