The Colbert Report
The Word - The Draft
Season 2 • 12/18/2006
College students should do unforgivable things in the name of war protesting.
Blood in the Water - Bruce Tinsley's DUIThe Colbert ReportS2
Cartoonist Bruce Tinsley, who draws the comic strip "Mallard Fillmore," was arrested for DUI, and the left-wing media jumped all over it -- in that it was reported.
The Word - ClarityThe Colbert ReportS2
The Kimberly Process tracks diamonds from mine to store to make sure that incoming diamonds are conflict free -- until they reach married couples.
The American People Are to BlameThe Colbert ReportS2
Tom DeLay says the will of the American people is no longer behind the war in Iraq and Stephen agrees -- the public should be ready to chew what the president has bitten off.
Finger StrengtheningThe Colbert ReportS2
The Decemberists stole Stephen's Green Screen Challenge, he called them out, and they challenged him to a guitar solo contest -- so he's been practicing.
The Jingle-TernsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen tried to get holiday song artists, the Jingle Dogs on his show but it didn't work out. So, he presents the Jingle-Terns, his caroling inters.
Intro - 12/18/06The Colbert ReportS2
Dick Cheney says goodbye to Donald Rumsfeld, Stephen takes some time to discus art and gets an idea from former head of General Electric Jack Welch.
Jack WelchThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen asks Jack Welch how he's making it on a fixed income and has him sign a copy of his book, "Winning," for his father-in-law.
Profiles in BallsThe Colbert ReportS2
Dick Cheney had balls, but Nancy Pelosi doesn't -- although, she could.
DIY Cold MedicineThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen was sick all weekend and cold medicine wasn't doing the trick, so he reverse-engineered some crank and made some Sudafed which he snorted.
Tip/Wag - Art EditionThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen tips his hat to the exhibition "Bodies" and wags his finger at Picasso, Rodin and Nazi gingerbread men.
The Word - The DraftThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen feels the draft should be reinstated so that America can go back to the days of Vietnam when they hated protesters more than the war.
Deepak ChopraThe Colbert ReportS2
Deepak Chopra talks to Stephen about life after death, maintaining a youthful biology and his book, which costs 24 dollars.
Stephen Goes to HarvardThe Colbert ReportS2
The election on his mind, Stephen takes a trip to Harvard University, where he sets the students of the John F. Kennedy School of Government straight.
Person of the YearThe Colbert ReportS2
With the power of the Internet in their hands, the Colbert Nation has become Time Magazine's Person of the Year.
The Word - Tit for TatThe Colbert ReportS2
An outraged Stephen speaks out against beauty queen Tara Conner for publicly exhibiting her sexuality, and proposes a change in the pageant scoring system.
Intro - 12/19/06The Colbert ReportS2
Miss USA gets in trouble for drinking, Stephen tries to live in the basement of Harvard and new age guru Deepak Chopra stops by.
Face-Off PreviewThe Colbert ReportS2
With the upcoming challenge against the Decemberists' guitarist, Chris Funk, Stephen does a little tapping on his electric guitar to hold us over.
Intro - 12/20/06The Colbert ReportS2
Morley Safer gets us revved up for tonight's guitar solo challenge, when The Decemberists and Stephen face off to determine who is the Socrates of Shred.
ShredDown - The JudgmentThe Colbert ReportS2
The results are in. The judges and audience cast their votes and Henry Kissinger announces the winner.
ShredDownThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen introduces a tough panel of ShredDown dispute judges: Eliot Spitzer, Anthony DeCurtis and Jim Anderson.
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