The Colbert Report

The God Machine?

Season 3 • 06/05/2007

Stephen reminds everyone that the iPhone is not a God Machine.

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00:08

Sign Off - Mardi Gras Mask
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wears his Mardi Gras mask to say good night.
06/04/2007
00:48

Democratic Presidential Debate - Venue
The Colbert ReportS3

Though Stephen did not watch the Democratic presidential debate, he can assume he knows what the candidates said anyway.
06/04/2007
06:37

Jan Schakowsky
The Colbert ReportS3

Now that America has won back the hot dog eating crown, Stephen discusses Hunger Awareness Day and the rising prices of food.
06/04/2007
00:32

Intro - 6/4/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, America reclaims the hot dog eating crown, Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky spends a week living off food stamps and Stephen interviews Bard College president Leon Botstein.
06/04/2007
06:44

Jessica Valenti
The Colbert ReportS3

Jessica Valenti has a hard time believing that the girls in the "Girls Gone Wild" videos are flashing their breasts for their own pleasure.
06/05/2007
02:09

When Animals Attack Our Morals - Flamingos
The Colbert ReportS3

A pair of gay flamingos has raised fifteen flamingo chicks, all from eggs poached from other traditional flamingo nests.
06/05/2007
02:07

Yahoo Korea - Rain
The Colbert ReportS3

Koreans have been trying to keep the white man down, ever since we invaded their country.
06/05/2007
01:59

You've Been Scootered!
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen advises Scooter Libby to start a gang in prison with Duke Cunningham.
06/05/2007
04:19

The Word - Mission Control
The Colbert ReportS3

NASA's Michael Griffin made their mission statement better by deleting any mention of planet protection.
06/05/2007
00:35

Intro - 6/5/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Tonight, Stephen reports on Scooter Libby's prison sentence, discusses the new iPhone and interviews author Jessica Valenti.
06/05/2007
01:52

The God Machine?
The Colbert ReportS3

The disturbing news about the new iPhone is that Stephen doesn't have one yet.
06/05/2007
01:48

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Octopi
The Colbert ReportS3

One day octopi are twisting open bottles, the next they're twisting open submarine hatch doors.
06/06/2007
04:55

Carl Bernstein
The Colbert ReportS3

Carl Bernstein's new book "A Woman in Charge" is about Hillary Clinton. Stephen hopes it has a happy ending.
06/06/2007
00:32

Intro - 6/6/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Tonight, Stephen reports on Democrat candidates talking about God, discusses global warming and talks to author Carl Bernstein about his new biography.
06/06/2007
03:40

Sinner Edwards
The Colbert ReportS3

Asking Democrats about their religion is like asking Mel Gibson how he enjoyed his Passover.
06/06/2007
04:39

Tip/Wag - Deep Purple
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen tips his hat to bookseller Tom Wayne and Genosis, and wags his finger at Fox News and guitar players.
06/06/2007
03:50

The Word - Airogance
The Colbert ReportS3

Who's to say that we presently have the best climate when there are so many other climates we haven't tried yet?
06/06/2007
02:04

Pope Jump
The Colbert ReportS3

Whenever anything happens to the pope, people ask Stephen to interpret it -- he's kinda like the pope's pope.
06/07/2007
06:00

Cullen Murphy
The Colbert ReportS3

Cullen Murphy, author of "Are We Rome?," wonders if America is like the Roman Empire.
06/07/2007
07:25

Better Know a District - Washington's 9th - Adam Smith
The Colbert ReportS3

After 10 years at his job, there is still a lot that Representative Adam Smith doesn't know about his district or himself.
06/07/2007
00:08

Sign Off - Vomitorium
The Colbert ReportS3

The show is over, and Stephen is heading to the vomitorium.
06/07/2007
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