The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 03/13/2007
Scientists claim that time travel is impossible, but Stephen knows the truth.
Sign Off - Captain America ShieldThe Colbert ReportS3
Marvel Comics' Joe Quesada has bequeathed the shield of Captain America to the only man who has the red, white and blue balls to carry the mantle: Stephen Colbert.
Intro - 3/12/07The Colbert ReportS3
Bill Gates worries about American competitiveness, high school students get an F in religion and Stephen interviews New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof.
Newt Gingrich's Extramarital AffairThe Colbert ReportS3
Newt Gingrich had the courage to lead the impeachment of Bill Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky while having an affair of his own.
Nicholas KristofThe Colbert ReportS3
The New York Times columnist Nicolas Kristof complains that Americans aren't charitable enough, even though Stephen let him on his show.
Michael Eric DysonThe Colbert ReportS3
Michael Eric Dyson explains the difference between racism and bigotry and assures Stephen that he's probably got a few black relatives.
Willie Nelson's CobblerThe Colbert ReportS3
Upon discovering that Ben and Jerry's also named an ice cream after Willie Nelson, Stephen launches a campaign to expose Nelson for who he really is.
Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-Calypse - 300The Colbert ReportS3
Pop culture is a threat to our youth, with the exception of the film "300".
The Word - GoodnightThe Colbert ReportS3
Tonight's Word is about the only thing Stephen has time for.
Donald ShieldsThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Donald Shields talks about the firing of eight U.S. attorneys. According to Stephen, they should have pleasured the president.
Intro - 3/13/07The Colbert ReportS3
The firing of eight U.S. attorneys, America's biggest movie and guest Michael Eric Dyson -- tonight on The Report.
Time TravelThe Colbert ReportS3
Scientists claim that time travel is impossible; Stephen proves them wrong by traveling forward in time.
Sport Report - NCAAThe Colbert ReportS3
Speaking of non-drug-related euphoria, Stephen is simply mentally unbalanced about March Madness.
Sign Off - United We LickThe Colbert ReportS3
Although Stephen can't enjoy his ice cream until Lent ends, his famous friends can.
When Ancestors Attack - Barack ObamaThe Colbert ReportS3
Remember -- John F. Kennedy's presidential chances were almost spoiled when questions were asked about his heritage
The Word - High FidelityThe Colbert ReportS3
Upset you got fired, U.S. Attorneys? That's what unemployment insurance is for.
Intro - 3/14/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen talks to Ed Viesturs about climbing Mount Everest, and Bush draws increasing criticism for trying to install his own people as U.S. Attorneys.
Rocky Mountain HighThe Colbert ReportS3
As an avid outdoorsman, Stephen understands that Rocky Mountain High is not about drugs.
Ed ViestursThe Colbert ReportS3
Ed Viesturs agrees to plant a Colbert Report flag on top of Mount Everest the next time he goes.
Ayaan Hirsi AliThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Ayaan Hirsi Ali if fundamentalist Christians should battle fundamentalist Muslims.
St. Patrick's DayThe Colbert ReportS3
St. Patrick's Day can't go on now that geneticists have discovered that the English and the Irish are a single people.
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