The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Don't Squeeze The Chairman
Season 8 • 09/16/2003
The Israeli Security Cabinet votes to literally remove Yasser Arafat.
Ship For BrainsThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Our airport security system is still vulnerable to those criminals devious and cunning enough to pack themselves in luggage.
Cuba Gooding, Jr.The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Cuba Gooding, Jr. does his own stunts and breakdancing for a movie.
Intro - John EdwardsThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
If John Edwards becomes president and starts a war with another country, he'll announce that on the show too.
Moment of Zen - Edwards' PromiseThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
John Edwards announces his candidacy for presidency of the United States.
Madeleine Albright Pt. 2The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Madeleine Albright talks about how she made herself president of the International Relations club wherever she went.
Preview - 9/17/03The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Jon talks about tomorrow's show and gives a preview of Samantha Bee's story on the raw sewage problem in Indiana.
Recall RecalledThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Stephen Colbert explains how the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals threatens to turn the 2003 California recall election into a circus.
Re-Decision 2003 - Recall DelayThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
The Court of Appeals attempts a judicial hijacking of the electoral process by postponing California's recall election.
Moment of Zen - Yasser BabyThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Yasser Arafat waves a peace sign and holds up a baby to an excited crowd.
Madeleine Albright Pt. 1The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Madeleine Albright figures out the way to entertain Yasser Arafat is to show him "Tom and Jerry" cartoons.
Don't Squeeze The ChairmanThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Israel hopes to stop the cycle of violence once and for all -- by killing Yasser Arafat.
If These Shoes Could TalkThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Samantha Bee finds out that the mayor has more important duties than listening to neighbors complain about the water sewage backup -- like seeing Cher.
Intro - Hurricane IsabelThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Jon wants people to put themselves in harm's way, because these extreme weather shows don't tape themselves.
Preview - 9/18/03The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Jon gives a preview of tomorrow's show, including a clip of Ed Helms's report from Alabama.
Back In Black - Bad PeopleThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Lewis Black is mad that God lets good things happen to bad people, like letting them live.
Democrats 2004: Race from the White House - Wesley ClarkThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Wesley Clark's announcement brings to 10 the number of Democrats running for president that most Americans can't name.
Moment of Zen - Terminator MachineThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Arnold Schwarzenegger explains how great the fights were between him and the female Terminator because they could do things -- because they were machines.
Charlie SheenThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Charlie Sheen wants to know the sex of the baby so he can tell the muralist what to paint in the nursery.
Christina RicciThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Christina Ricci didn't have a childhood.
Moment of Zen - Arnold SchwarzeneggerThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
When Arnold Schwarzenegger is through being governor of California he will be known as the Collectinator.
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