The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/4/09
Season 5 • 03/04/2009
NASA may name the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Urine Filtration System.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Murderer Was Derek
For those of you just tuning in, the murderer was Derek.
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Name NASA's Node 3 After Stephen
Colbert Nation is officially mobilized to get NASA's new space station node named "Colbert."
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/3/09
President Obama taxes the rich to pay for universal health care, and South Carolina may finally end gun prostitution.
The Colbert ReportS5 Guns for Roses
Stephen doesn't like the idea of putting all these roses out on the streets with their pointy thorns.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Share the Wealth
If we're paying for the poor's health care, we need to make sure they stay healthy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Carl Wilson
Carl Wilson tries to understand the popularity of Celine Dion in "Let's Talk About Love."
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Scientology's New Galactic Overlord
Stephen is ahead of Xenu in NASA's space station module votes, making him Scientology's new galactic overlord.
The Colbert ReportS5 Doom Bunker - Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore
Stephen makes up horrific doomsday scenarios for Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore to discuss.
The Colbert ReportS5 Doom Bunker - Glenn Beck's "War Room"
Stephen encourages Glenn Beck to crank up the crazy and rip off the knob.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/4/09
Will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama's Swing Set
Stephen has to respect Barack Obama for putting together a swing set on the South Lawn.
The Colbert ReportS5 Steven Johnson
Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/5/09
The Obama administration goes after pundits. John King, set your magic screen to stun.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh
Rush Limbaugh doesn't care what the Constitution says, which is proof that he is the true leader of the Republican Party.
The Colbert ReportS5 Market Psychology - Jim Cramer
Jim Cramer discusses the psychology of the open market with a backdrop of puppies and kittens.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis
Representative Cynthia Lummis judges a selection of Stephen's meats.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Locked and Loathed
Stephen longs for a day when gun owners no longer have to hide their relationships with their concealed weapons.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis
Stephen asks Cynthia Lummis what Wyoming's black guy is like.
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