The Colbert Report
The Metaphor-Off Is On
Season 3 • 04/16/2007
Sean Penn accepts Stephen's challenge to a Metaphor-Off.
A Girl for Stephen Jr.The Colbert ReportS3
Tad the Building Manager goes to the Eagle Festival in search of a girlfriend for Stephen Jr.
The Word - Body ArmorThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen isn't saying we don't face challenges in Iraq -- they still don't get his show in the Sunni triangle.
The Pope and IraqThe Colbert ReportS3
If the Pope wants a project, Stephen could help him get his own ice cream.
Sign Off - Fondest MemoriesThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen details where in your brain you can find tonight's episode.
Paulina Likes StephenThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen isn't surprised that Paulina Porizkova thinks he's hot, since looking at Ric Ocasek is like looking in a mirror.
Mope RetractionThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen misidentifies the Mormon pope, but calls on the Mormon church to correct the mistake.
Intro - 4/16/07The Colbert ReportS3
Alberto Gonzales prepares to testify before Congress, Paul Wolfowitz gets his girlfriend a high-paying job, and Senator John Kerry talks to Stephen about the environment.
Alpha Dog of the Week - Paul WolfowitzThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen makes Paul Wolfowitz his Alpha Dog of the Week for lifting his leg on the World Bank.
The Word - Clean SlateThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen feels the only way Alberto Gonzales can get a clean slate is to clean his own slate.
John KerryThe Colbert ReportS3
John Kerry hints that this may not be the first time he did not consider running for president.
The Metaphor-Off Is OnThe Colbert ReportS3
Sean Penn picks up the gauntlet after Stephen draws a line in the sand.
Elaine PagelsThe Colbert ReportS3
Elaine Pagels tells Stephen about the gospel according to Judas.
Sign Off - Stephen's TaxesThe Colbert ReportS3
Everyone clear a path between Stephen's studio and the 34th Street post office!
The Word - Plan BThe Colbert ReportS3
The president's Plan A in Iraq must be going according to plan; otherwise they'd already be implementing Plan B.
Turtle Race UpdateThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen gives an update on his adopted turtle, Stephanie, as she makes her way to the Galapagos Islands.
Metaphor-Off TrainingThe Colbert ReportS3
To train for his Metaphor Off against Sean Penn, Stephen has been stretching his metonymies and doing synecdoche squats.
Intro - 4/17/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen questions President Bush's plans for Iraq, investigates a new study on teen abstinence and interviews author Elaine Pagels.
Tip/Wag - Fake SpermThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen wags his finger at abstinence education, cell phones, fake sperm and those who can't hack it.
Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - PulitzerThe Colbert ReportS3
According to the Pulitzer's, Henry Ward Beecher is the Most Famous Man in America, but the last time Stephen checked, he didn't have a diet named after him or a sex tape.
The Word - BrandingThe Colbert ReportS3
Corporations may not be used to having their names associated with human suffering, but think of the ad space.
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