The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Three Stockings
Season 1 • 12/14/2005
Stephen fills up three Christmas stockings.
Bob CostasThe Colbert ReportS1
Bob Costas reveals which sports are manly and which ones are just low-scoring European prance parties.
Intro - 12/13/05The Colbert ReportS1
Stephen determines what makes a great coach and learns about performance-enhancing steroids. Plus, Bob Costas will judge Stephen's triple salchow.
The De-Ballification of the American SportscapeThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen demonstrates how the telestrator works on actual footage of Tony Blair playing soccer.
Sign Off - Excellence in EverythingThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen presents tonight's Colbert Report Special Report trophy for the Omnisport Award for Excellence in Everything.
Sports UpdateThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen checks some of last night's sports scores by using the footage he can afford.
King KongThe Colbert ReportS1
"King Kong" is an allegory for the times: Kong is Bush, Skull Island is Washington and Naomi Watts is America.
Dermot MulroneyThe Colbert ReportS1
Dermot Mulroney tells Stephen about his new movie, what it's like to be a chick-flick actor, and whether or not he could take Yo-Yo Ma.
Tip/Wag - Redefining Cruel and UnusualThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen tips his hat to the Pentagon for redefining cruel and unusual interrogation tactics and wags his finger at Australia's riots.
Intro - 12/14/05The Colbert ReportS1
Stephen reports on President Bush's awareness level, reminds America of his journalistic status and talks to actor Dermot Mulroney.
The Word - TravoltaThe Colbert ReportS1
Newsweek says Bush is in a bubble. Stephen doesn't think that's a bad thing.
Sign Off - Three StockingsThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen puts an IOU for an Xbox 360 in The Heroes' stocking.
Mark CubanThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen talks to Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban about politics and how he became a billionaire.
Tax DeductionsThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen explains what you need to know about business-related tax deductions and shows off some of the items that he'll be deducting.
War on HolidayThe Colbert ReportS1
After researching the origin of the word "holiday," Stephen declares war on "holiday."
Better Know a District - New York's 11th - Major OwensThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen tries out a rap poem about Brooklyn Congressman Major Owens and proposes an alternative to raising the minimum wage.
Intro - 12/15/05The Colbert ReportS1
Stephen covers the war on Christmas, wonders about the coming year and chats with billionaire Mark Cuban about what money can't buy.
The Word - JetpackThe Colbert ReportS1
As 2005 comes to a close, Stephen reflects on The Colbert Report and looks forward to beginning the new year.
The Word - There Is No WordThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen has been hypnotized out of remembering any associations with Jack Abramoff.
Tip/Wag - Addicted to CuteThe Colbert ReportS2
Studies show that things that cuteness stimulates the same part of the brain as drugs, sex and delicious food.
On Notice/Dead to Me - Word of the YearThe Colbert ReportS2
"Truthiness" receives the American Dialect Society's Word of the Year award. Stephen receives no credit.
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