The Colbert Report
God Calls Rick Perry
Season 7 • 07/19/2011
Rick Perry and God would make a great GOP ticket.
Intro - 7/18/11The Colbert ReportS7
Everyone continues to talk about the News Corp. phone-hacking scandal, and John Prendergast discusses the two-week-old nation of South Sudan.
Sign Off - Prerecorded EpisodesThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen can't be sure what day it is because he prerecorded all these episodes in a 96-hour meth-fueled news binge.
Blood in the Water - Rupert Murdoch's News of the World ScandalThe Colbert ReportS7
For some reason, the media continues to talk about the Rupert Murdoch piffle, so Steve Doocy blows the lid back onto the story.
Colbert Super PAC - Cash CrawlThe Colbert ReportS7
To seduce the prudent, Stephen puts the names of people who have donated to Colbert Super PAC on a cash crawl.
Colbert Super PAC - Campaign FinanceThe Colbert ReportS7
Sean Parnell supports Colbert Super PAC's plan to buy an elephant, but Sheila Krumholz wants to shine a light on the taint of private money.
John PrendergastThe Colbert ReportS7
John Prendergast talks about the birth of South Sudan, the creation of its flag and the oil curse that might plague its future.
David CarrThe Colbert ReportS7
David Carr of the New York Times admits that papers sell based on the misery of others, but that Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. sells misery best.
Newt's White WhaleThe Colbert ReportS7
With his campaign $1 million in debt, Newt Gingrich will have to abandon Moby Dick Airways and travel on Metaphorical Unattainable Goal Bus Lines.
Debt Ceiling Deadline ConspiracyThe Colbert ReportS7
The August 2nd debt ceiling deadline could be a Muslim-Nazi-Vietcong conspiracy to keep America fiscally solvent.
God Calls Rick PerryThe Colbert ReportS7
With the tough challenges facing America, Rick Perry thinks it's time to hand it over to God and ask Him to jump in.
Sign Off - ReadingThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen interrupts his reading of Michael Sandel's "Justice: What's the Right Thing to Do?" to say goodnight.
Humanized by PieThe Colbert ReportS7
After Rupert Murdoch gets hit with a pie, News Corp.'s stocks spike, the English Parliament apologizes, and even the media sharks celebrating his downfall feel bad.
Voter ID LawsThe Colbert ReportS7
To safeguard against voter fraud and ensure that only the "right people" get elected, Republicans pass laws requiring voters to show government-issued photo IDs.
Michael SandelThe Colbert ReportS7
Michael Sandel uses real-world examples to test big philosophical concepts and ethical questions about justice and cannibalism.
Congressional Partisan RancorThe Colbert ReportS7
Allen West brings civility back to Washington by calling Debbie Wasserman Shultz a "vile coward" after she spews bile over his support for the GOP's debt reduction bill.
I's on Edjukashun - Gay History & Disney EnglishThe Colbert ReportS7
California's school curriculum includes lesson plan-on-man action, and Disney will teach Chinese kids words like "Mickey," "Mouse," and "Sew that Mickey Mouse hoodie faster."
Sign Off - Space RobotThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen does the space robot with a box of tissues.
Death of America's Space ProgramThe Colbert ReportS7
America ends its space program, making Stephen's astronauts skills as obsolete as dodo husbandry, Zune programming and American manufacturing.
Intro - 7/21/11The Colbert ReportS7
Schools should only teach gay history if they teach gay is history, "The Today Show" cooking segment gets out of control, and neuroscientist David Eagleman talks brains.
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