The Colbert Report
Juvenile Speeches from Congress & President Sparkle-Talk
Season 8 • 06/04/2012
Congress is so dumb that it took them seven years just to be held back a grade.
The Colbert ReportS8 Buy Best-Selling "I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)"
Stephen's clearly nonfiction book about a talking, soul-searching pole hits two best-selling lists, while Bill O'Reilly's book lags behind.
The Colbert ReportS8 Barack Obama's Righteous Drone Strikes
The government takes out Al Qaeda's "number two," and Barack Obama finds an alternative to shutting down Guantanamo Bay.
The Colbert ReportS8 The Word - Two Birds With One Drone
The Obama administration reasons that anyone in a strike zone is likely Al Qaeda, so no one has to feel guilty about civilian casualties.
The Colbert ReportS8 Jack Hitt
Author Jack Hitt explores America's self-made history, job creators and the cyclical nature of amateurism.
The Colbert ReportS8 Michael Bloomberg's Super-Sized Soda Scheme
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg plans to ban super-sized sodas, even though America hasn't achieved type-3 diabetes yet.
The Colbert ReportS8 Sign Off - Welcome Baby Gwinn!
Stephen suspects that one of his writers has broken the strict, company abstinence pledge.
The Colbert ReportS8 The Word - Sink or Swim
Scientists predict an economy-destroying, 39-inch sea level rise, but North Carolina drafts a law to make it eight inches.
The Colbert ReportS8 Better Know a District - Represent-O-Map 6000 & Georgia's 5th
Nancy Pelosi and the Represent-O-Map 6000 boost representative bookings, and Stephen profiles Georgia's 5th congressional district.
The Colbert ReportS8 John Lewis
Congressman John Lewis recalls the 1965 Selma-to-Montgomery March, America's segregation and his mentor Martin Luther King, Jr.
The Colbert ReportS8 Juvenile Speeches from Congress & President Sparkle-Talk
America's leaders speak the high school language of "angry glares at the dinner table," while Barack Obama talks like an eighth-grader.
The Colbert ReportS8 CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement
Zombie-like attacks suggest a growing urban trend, but America's top emergency doctors declare that zombies do not exist.
The Colbert ReportS8 Tip/Wag - Japanese Diet Goggles, U.S. Sperm Exports & Taxidermied Toys
Japanese diet glasses reduce Oreo intake, America is the gold standard of sperm, and Dutch artist Bart Jansen converts his dead cat into a model helicopter.
The Colbert ReportS8 Intro - 6/5/12
The U.S. reveals its latest export, traditional marriage faces assault, and Second Lady Dr. Jill Biden talks about her children's book.
The Colbert ReportS8 Self-Marriage Problems
A North Dakota woman marries herself, and Stephen envisions all the societal pressure once self-marriage becomes the norm.
The Colbert ReportS8 Jill Biden
Second Lady Jill Biden describes her passion for teaching, the resilience of military families, and her "Vice team" leadership.
The Colbert ReportS8 Wisconsin's Recall Results
Governor Scott Walker wins the Wisconsin recall election, so Stephen celebrates the end of America's unions.
The Colbert ReportS8 Transit of Venus & Mars Reality Show Pitch
Stephen's sun-gazing pays off, and the private sector offers Americans the chance to pick up and move to Mars.
The Colbert ReportS8 Neil Patrick Harris
Actor Neil Patrick Harris discusses hosting the Tony Awards, performing on Broadway and playing a convincing straight guy on "How I Met Your Mother."
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