The Colbert Report

A Man's Touch

Season 3 • 01/15/2007

Stephen's offer of love stands, Madame Secretary.

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03:28

What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Doubled Up
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Stephen reminds his viewers that just because the numbers on the board are between one and five hundred, that doesn't mean the number he's thinking of is.
01/11/2007
04:02

Tip/Wag - Science and Technology
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is outraged by the iPhone unless he gets one for free.
01/11/2007
06:48

Judy Woodruff
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Judy Woodruff talks about her new PBS documentary on Generation Next and grills Stephen on his tattoos.
01/11/2007
05:43

Ken Roth
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On the fifth anniversary of Guantanamo Bay, Human Rights Watch executive director Ken Roth joins Stephen.
01/11/2007
00:28

Intro - 1/11/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen sends a monogrammed waterboard to Guantanamo for its fifth anniversary.
01/11/2007
03:29

The Word - Victory!
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Stephen suggests we redefine our goals to what is actually happening. Then victory will be ours.
01/15/2007
00:32

Intro - 1/15/07
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Stephen discusses plastic surgery with author Alex Kuczynski and debuts his new financial segment.
01/15/2007
04:45

Alex Kuczynski
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Alex Kuczynski explains why we don't look better after spending $15 billion on plastic surgery.
01/15/2007
06:04

Bears & Balls - Gas
The Colbert ReportS3

Buy gas! It's a sure-fire commodity with no risk except for the sure risk of fire.
01/15/2007
02:25

Inspired by Dr. King
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen calls for a national lie-in. It's time to go beyond passive resistance to pure passiveness.
01/15/2007
02:40

A Man's Touch
The Colbert ReportS3

It's insensitive to remind Condoleezza Rice that she's going to die without knowing a man's touch.
01/15/2007
01:36

Squeaky Chair
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Stephen is feeling a little high-strung with Bill O'Reilly's impending visit, and his chair is caught in the crossfire.
01/16/2007
03:20

Pesos for Pizza
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is forced to rethink his three least favorite words: the Hollywood Foreign Press.
01/16/2007
03:37

The Word - Symbolic
The Colbert ReportS3

A symbolic Congress makes a symbolic stand against a symbolic war.
01/16/2007
00:35

Intro - 1/16/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen begins the show with some self-aggrandizing vocal warm-ups.
01/16/2007
03:59

Sport Report - Bend it Like Beckham
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David Beckham comes to America to be an actor, and Stephen has the perfect project for him.
01/16/2007
06:29

Dinesh D'Souza
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Dinesh D'Souza believes saying that the cultural left is causing America's destruction would be going too far.
01/16/2007
05:57

Better Know a District - Washington's 3rd - Brian Baird
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen brings clinical psychologist/Congressman Brian Baird to a safe place.
01/17/2007
06:03

Lynn Swann
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Hall of Famer Lynn Swann helps Stephen trash-talk the remaining NFL playoff teams that aren't the New Orleans Saints.
01/17/2007
00:38

Intro - 1/17/07
The Colbert ReportS3

It's Stephen's 200th show and he wants a commemorative coin.
01/17/2007
02:02

200th Episode
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen underplays the importance of his 200th episode, as Papa Bear is making a visit tomorrow.
01/17/2007
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