The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/19/09
Season 5 • 03/19/2009
Mitt Romney can just show his serial number instead of his birth record.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/18/09
Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFy
Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sam's Club Time
That's it for time until Stephen runs to Sam's Club and picks up some more.
The Colbert ReportS5 Predator X Discovery
Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith.
The Colbert ReportS5 Juan Cole
Juan Cole doesn't advocate a soft approach, but he wants to take the Muslim world's views into account.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bill Posey Alligator Rumors
Stephen demands a DNA test to determine whether Congressman Bill Posey is part alligator.
The Colbert ReportS5 When Animals Attack Our Morals - Chimps, Lizards & Spiders
A chimp throws rocks at Swedes, male lizards imitate females, and spiders perform miracles.
The Colbert ReportS5 John McCardell
John McCardell believes the current drinking age law drives alcohol consumption out of public view, putting young people at greater risk.
The Colbert ReportS5 Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele's Response
In accordance with hip-hop's longstanding fairness doctrine, Stephen presents Michael Steele's rap response, remixed on behalf of Michael Steele.
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Vote Now
Don't forget to vote for NASA's space node to be named after Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/19/09
A new bill would require presidential candidates to produce birth records. Mitt Romney, you can just show your serial number.
The Colbert ReportS5 Derrick Pitts
Stephen handles Derrick Pitt's replica of Galileo's telescope with special magic gloves.
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Democracy in Orbit
Representative Chaka Fattah insists that Stephen won the NASA node-naming contest fair and square.
The Colbert ReportS5 Me Time - Emily Yoffe on Narcissistic Personality Disorder
What's wrong with thinking that you are better than everyone else if it's the truth?
The Colbert ReportS5 30 Minute Applause
Late viewers, just pretend that you applauded for Stephen for 30 minutes.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/30/09
Is narcissism hurting America? More importantly, how does Stephen's hair look?
The Colbert ReportS5 Me Time - American Narcissism
We need ambition, self-confidence and extreme good looks to rebuild America.
The Colbert ReportS5 Violence in Mexico
Cross border drug traffic and violence could lead to the explosion of Lou Dobbs' head.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/31/09
Glenn Beck embarks on a new crusade, and David Plotz discusses every word of the Bible.
The Colbert ReportS5 The 10.31 Project
Stephen wants you to ring doorbells and demand that your neighbors make a tangible commitment to America in the form of a sugary treat.
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