The Colbert Report

Tip/Wag - Four Loko & Horoscopes

Season 7 • 01/19/2011

Stephen divines his own future with celestial measurements and a Miss Cleo hat.

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04:11

Mika Brzezinski Experiences Palin Fatigue
The Colbert ReportS7

Mika Brzezinski thinks Sarah Palin's speeches are coded talking points mixed in with words picked up at random from a thesaurus.
01/18/2011
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00:10

Sign Off - Coma Cozy
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen signs off with his Coma Cozy.
01/18/2011
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03:31

Coma Cozy
The Colbert ReportS7

The Coma Cozy comes with a feeding tube hole and a warm fleece catheter for effortless cocoon living.
01/18/2011
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00:30

Intro - 1/18/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen wants to make American children Chinese and assumes Cornel West's book is about Obama joining the circus.
01/18/2011
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04:53

The Word - Disintegration
The Colbert ReportS7

North Carolina Tea Partiers want to reverse socially engineered progress until things get so bad for the poor that they can't be ignored.
01/18/2011
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04:07

Shout Out - Preston Pysh
The Colbert ReportS7

Preston Pysh receives the single highest honor a member of the military can receive from a civilian: the Colbert Bump of Honor.
01/19/2011
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04:47

Ron Reagan
The Colbert ReportS7

Ron Reagan helps Stephen remember that his father raised taxes and provided amnesty to illegal immigrants.
01/19/2011
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00:31

Intro - 1/19/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen wants someone to open his present from Afghanistan and asks Ron Reagan about which president he wrote his memoir.
01/19/2011
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00:54

Sign Off - I Eat America (And So Can You!) Recall
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen announces a recall of "I Eat America (And So Can You!)" due to a production error beyond his control.
01/19/2011
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04:20

Black-Tie Dinner for Hu Jintao
The Colbert ReportS7

President Obama's black-tie dinner for Hu Jintao should have been a sweatpants potluck with box wine and a sleeve of Oreos.
01/19/2011
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05:46

Tip/Wag - Four Loko & Horoscopes
The Colbert ReportS7

Four Loko finds a new way to make money off their liver-destroying gutter swill, and horoscopes are off by one month.
01/19/2011
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00:21

Sign Off - Donald Pellview
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen thanks his understudy, Donald Pellview, for filling in for him tonight.
01/20/2011
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03:42

50th Anniversary of JFK's Inaugural Address
The Colbert ReportS7

On the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's "Ask Not" inaugural address, the all-American pundit panel tears Camelot a new hole.
01/20/2011
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05:24

State Budget Shortfalls - Christine Todd Whitman
The Colbert ReportS7

Christine Todd Whitman explains what services she would cut first if she were the governor of one of the 46 states facing budget deficits.
01/20/2011
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06:30

Chris Matthews
The Colbert ReportS7

Chris Matthews remembers John F. Kennedy as a war hero who was the first president to stand up for civil rights.
01/20/2011
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04:01

Rush Limbaugh Speaks Chinese
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen is deeply offended by Rush Limbaugh's cheap, insensitive rip-off of his only character, Ching Chong Ding Dong.
01/20/2011
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00:33

Intro - 1/24/11
The Colbert ReportS7

House Republicans repeal health care to create new jobs, and Stephen won't let Charlie Rose talks until he gets a free tote bag.
01/24/2011
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00:45

Sign Off - Keith Olbermug
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen puts Keith Olbermug inside Bill O'Reilly's microwave oven so they can fight it out.
01/24/2011
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05:41

Stephen Rejects Keith Olbermann's Power
The Colbert ReportS7

Keith Olbermann's essence is deflected into a coffee cup after Stephen's body rejects his power like a pompous kidney.
01/24/2011
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05:59

Charlie Rose
The Colbert ReportS7

Charlie Rose admits that he rarely sits down for interviews himself because he has nothing to say.
01/24/2011
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03:31

Art Stephen Up Challenge - Banksy
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen announces the secret identity of Banksy, admits to posing nude in college and reveals another portrait above his mantel.
01/24/2011
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