The Colbert Report

Exclusive - The Morning Asylum

Season 6 • 10/02/2009

Stephen plays an excerpt from his 80s morning radio show.

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02:41

The Colbert ReportS5
Send Your Medical Bills to Max Baucus

Senator Max Baucus will pay for your medical bills from the $3.2 million he's received from the health care industry.
09/30/2009
03:39

The Colbert ReportS5
A Pace Odyssey

NASA begins assembling Stephen's treadmill so America's famously fat astronauts can get trim in space.
09/30/2009
05:42

The Colbert ReportS5
Richard Dawkins

After offering evidence for evolution, Richard Dawkins wants to see the evidence for God.
09/30/2009
07:14

The Colbert ReportS5
ThreatDown - Environmentalists, Kang Lee & Mountain Pine Beetles

Environmentalists target soft toilet paper, Kang Lee exposes the lies parents tell kids, and mountain pine beetles prevent us from shooting bears.
09/30/2009
00:29

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 9/30/09

Stephen has an update on his space treadmill, and he'll evolve Richard Dawkins' book into tiny shreds of paper.
09/30/2009
04:11

The Colbert ReportS5
Francis Collins

Francis Collins informs Stephen that it's going to take time for stem cell research to give him crab claws.
10/01/2009
05:09

The Colbert ReportS5
Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 1

Competitive eater Brad Sciullo wants to prove anything is possible by finishing a 15-pound hamburger called "The Belly Buster."
10/01/2009
02:03

The Colbert ReportS5
Najibullah Zazi Threatens Beauty Supplies

Suspected terrorist Najibullah Zazi threatens America's unregulated use of beauty supplies.
10/01/2009
00:25

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - New Slang

Stephen introduces some new slang into the teen lexicon.
10/01/2009
08:03

The Colbert ReportS5
2016 Olympics in Chicago - George Wendt

George Wendt and Stephen trash talk Rio de Janeiro, Madrid and Tokyo for competing against Chicago's 2016 Olympics bid.
10/01/2009
00:47

The Colbert ReportS6
Exclusive - The Morning Asylum

Stephen plays an excerpt from his 80s morning radio show, "The Morning Asylum with Stevie C and Dr. Dave."
10/02/2009
06:30

The Colbert ReportS5
Arne Duncan

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan wants longer school hours so American students can compete with the rest of the world.
10/05/2009
04:42

The Colbert ReportS5
Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 2

Brad Sciullo's training regime of drinking, vomiting and trout prepares him to conquer "The Belly Buster."
10/05/2009
00:03

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Goodnight

That's it for The Report.
10/05/2009
01:25

The Colbert ReportS5
Americans for Prosperity Cheer Chicago's Failure

The conservative group, Americans for Prosperity, cheers when they hear the news of Chicago's failure to host the 2016 Olympics.
10/05/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 10/5/09

President Obama proposes a longer school year, and Arne Duncan could only get a job as a secretary.
10/05/2009
05:46

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Learning Is Fundamental

As a fifth grader and small businessman, Andy Gellman has to think about how longer school hours will affect the economy.
10/05/2009
03:28

The Colbert ReportS5
John Darnielle

John Darnielle discusses his cheerfully desolate song lyrics and his respect for suicidal mountain goats.
10/06/2009
04:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Formula 401: A Star Is Born

Your baby can look like whichever celebrity Stephen impersonates while creating Formula 401: A Star Is Born.
10/06/2009
01:09

The Colbert ReportS5
New Swine Flu Vaccine Drops

The swine flu vaccine shoots straight to the top of the vaccine charts, blowing away Japanese encephalitis.
10/06/2009
07:10

The Colbert ReportS5
The Road Ahead in Afghanistan - Lara Logan

As President Obama decides how to move forward in Afghanistan, Lara Logan explains the goals of Al Qaeda and the Taliban.
10/06/2009
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