The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Welcome Baby Sanchez!

Season 9 • 01/31/2013

Stephen gives a Colbert Nation baby some advice.

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00:34

Intro - 1/29/13
The Colbert ReportS9

States wonder if they have to follow federal law, the war on terror persists, and George Saunders shares his critically-acclaimed book.
01/29/2013
04:59

The Word - It Gets Worse
The Colbert ReportS9

Pro-DOMA lawyer Paul Clement thinks the struggle for gay rights has just been too successful, so it therefore must end in failure.
01/30/2013
00:31

Intro - 1/30/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Gays and lesbians advocate for same-sex marriage, the Ku Klux Klan makes big changes, and billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates joins Stephen.
01/30/2013
07:03

Bill Gates
The Colbert ReportS9

Microsoft's founder talks about polio eradication, information technology and the decline in childhood deaths worldwide.
01/30/2013
04:48

Non-Racist KKK
The Colbert ReportS9

The new Ku Klux Klan spreads its positive message the way any open-minded group would: door to door in the dead of night.
01/30/2013
03:20

Coming Out Benefits & Gay Rights
The Colbert ReportS9

Psychosomatic Medicine prints a study on gay men's stress levels, and conservatives have been saying gays should have equal rights since the beginning of this sentence.
01/30/2013
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
01/30/2013
04:27

Sport Report - Gatorade Chemicals & Chicken Wing Shortage
The Colbert ReportS9

Gatorade without flame retardant is like hotdogs without pig sphincter, and chicken thieves run a-fowl as wing prices fly high.
01/31/2013
03:22

Craziest F#?King Thing I've Ever Heard - Crows Using Tools
The Colbert ReportS9

A bird demonstrates higher-level thinking while Big Bird, after 40 years, still needs help counting to 10.
01/31/2013
05:58

Sport Report - Ads for Ads & Deer Antler Spray
The Colbert ReportS9

TiVo watchers practice fast-forwarding, and Sports Illustrated accuses Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis of deer antler doping.
01/31/2013
01:10

Sign Off - Welcome Baby Sanchez!
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen congratulates his wardrobe mistress who just gave birth to the newest citizen of Colbert Nation.
01/31/2013
06:48

Bipartisan Immigration Reform
The Colbert ReportS9

Latino immigrants deserve the same Social Security, Medicare and public education benefits that all Americans are slowly losing.
02/04/2013
02:45

Skeet Shooting Skeptics
The Colbert ReportS9

If President Obama really loved guns, he'd be waving them around at a petting zoo and picking off baby goats, not skeet shooting.
02/04/2013
06:44

Sonia Sotomayor
The Colbert ReportS9

Justice Sotomayor discusses her funny colleagues, self-reliant childhood and most conservative belief as an Independent.
02/04/2013
03:21

Super Bowl XLVII
The Colbert ReportS9

Budweiser turns out a tearjerker ad, Beyonce ends the halftime tradition of arthritic legends, and the Superdome loses power for 35 minutes.
02/04/2013
00:36

Intro - 2/4/13
The Colbert ReportS9

The GOP tries to appeal to Hispanics, President Obama seeks support from gun owners, and Sonia Sotomayor is the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice.
02/04/2013
00:06

Sign Off - Second Amendment
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen reviews the Second Amendment and says goodnight.
02/04/2013
00:08

Sign Off - Final Rose
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen accepts an iconic reality show prop.
02/05/2013
04:21

Tip/Wag - Drunk Donating & "The Job" Reality Show
The Colbert ReportS9

Houston patrons vote on which charity should receive a bar's proceeds, and CBS turns America's unemployment problem into America's entertainment solution.
02/05/2013
03:57

Royal Remains
The Colbert ReportS9

Archeologists discover King Richard III's remains beneath a supermarket parking lot, which explains his famous last words: "My kingdom for a Hot Pocket!"
02/05/2013
06:24

Julie Andrews
The Colbert ReportS9

Julie Andrews discusses her Dame Commander rank, latest children's book and celebrated role as Mary Poppins.
02/05/2013
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