The Colbert Report

Mega Millions

Season 3 • 03/07/2007

Stephen assumed he won last night's Mega Millions jackpot because he bought 10 lottery tickets.

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04:29

ThreatDown - Cheney's Clot
The Colbert ReportS3

It's not enough that the mainstream media is against this president; now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon.
03/06/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/6/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Dick Cheney gets a blood clot, guest Mark Frauenfelder edits a magazine about homemade technology, and doctors: should they refuse to treat patients for religious reasons?
03/06/2007
06:16

Mark Frauenfelder
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen and Mark Frauenfelder shoot marshmallow guns at each other.
03/06/2007
03:06

Stephen Wins the Lottery
The Colbert ReportS3

It's so nice to be incredibly, undeniably, unfathomably, inexpressively, securely rich.
03/06/2007
01:33

Libby Verdict
The Colbert ReportS3

It's so like the media to focus on Scooter Libby's four out of five guilty verdicts -- they always see the glass as 80% guilty.
03/06/2007
00:34

Intro - 3/7/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, Stephen discusses the possible repealing of the U.S. military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, kicks off his coverage of the 2008 presidential election and interviews reporter Michael Spector.
03/07/2007
02:37

Easter Under Attack - Bunny
The Colbert ReportS3

Walnut Creek residents are debating over whether the Easter Bunny be changed to the Spring Bunny as to include all religions.
03/07/2007
07:31

Michael Specter
The Colbert ReportS3

New Yorker reporter Michael Specter explains how Vladimir Putin's critics have been mysteriously dying.
03/07/2007
04:04

The Word - Don't
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen argues that "Don't ask, don't tell" works because it allows homosexuals to help fight in the war on terror.
03/07/2007
00:08

Sign Off - Colbert Savings Time
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen explains an easy way to see another episode of the show.
03/07/2007
04:54

Mega Millions
The Colbert ReportS3

Following a rare factual error, Stephen must apologize for some things he said after finding out that he did not, in fact, win the lottery.
03/07/2007
00:29

Intro - 3/8/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wants the judge in the Scooter Libby trial to apologize, and he can't wait to see Ted Koppel in the tank for shark week.
03/08/2007
07:01

Ted Koppel
The Colbert ReportS3

Ted Koppel suggests that Stephen reconsider prancing around in front of the audience.
03/08/2007
03:27

The Word - Comic Justice
The Colbert ReportS3

There are times when Captain America has gone against the government in order to do what he feels is right, and this time it got him killed.
03/08/2007
06:17

Better Know a District - Kentucky's 3rd - John Yarmuth
The Colbert ReportS3

Representative John Yarmuth knows how to dispose of kittens if you don't have a shovel or a garbage can.
03/08/2007
02:09

Jesus Libby
The Colbert ReportS3

The similarities between Jesus and Scooter Libby are startling.
03/08/2007
03:19

Tip/Wag - U.S. Mint
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wags his finger at the U.S. Mint and high school seniors and tips his hat to Duke University graduate John Cornwell.
03/12/2007
04:18

The Word - Home Field Advantage
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen encourages countries like Congo and Sierra Leone to give America money first, so that we can one day help them solve their own problems.
03/12/2007
01:47

Sign Off - Captain America Shield
The Colbert ReportS3

Marvel Comics' Joe Quesada has bequeathed the shield of Captain America to the only man who has the red, white and blue balls to carry the mantle: Stephen Colbert.
03/12/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/12/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Bill Gates worries about American competitiveness, high school students get an F in religion and Stephen interviews New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof.
03/12/2007
03:19

Newt Gingrich's Extramarital Affair
The Colbert ReportS3

Newt Gingrich had the courage to lead the impeachment of Bill Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky while having an affair of his own.
03/12/2007
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