The Colbert Report

Mega Millions

Season 3 • 03/07/2007

Stephen assumed he won last night's Mega Millions jackpot because he bought 10 lottery tickets.

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04:29

The Colbert ReportS3
ThreatDown - Cheney's Clot

It's not enough that the mainstream media is against this president; now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon.
03/06/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 3/6/07

Dick Cheney gets a blood clot, guest Mark Frauenfelder edits a magazine about homemade technology, and doctors: should they refuse to treat patients for religious reasons?
03/06/2007
06:16

The Colbert ReportS3
Mark Frauenfelder

Stephen and Mark Frauenfelder shoot marshmallow guns at each other.
03/06/2007
03:06

The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen Wins the Lottery

It's so nice to be incredibly, undeniably, unfathomably, inexpressively, securely rich.
03/06/2007
01:33

The Colbert ReportS3
Libby Verdict

It's so like the media to focus on Scooter Libby's four out of five guilty verdicts -- they always see the glass as 80% guilty.
03/06/2007
00:34

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 3/7/07

In this episode, Stephen discusses the possible repealing of the U.S. military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, kicks off his coverage of the 2008 presidential election and interviews reporter Michael Spector.
03/07/2007
02:37

The Colbert ReportS3
Easter Under Attack - Bunny

Walnut Creek residents are debating over whether the Easter Bunny be changed to the Spring Bunny as to include all religions.
03/07/2007
07:31

The Colbert ReportS3
Michael Specter

New Yorker reporter Michael Specter explains how Vladimir Putin's critics have been mysteriously dying.
03/07/2007
04:04

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Don't

Stephen argues that "Don't ask, don't tell" works because it allows homosexuals to help fight in the war on terror.
03/07/2007
00:08

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Colbert Savings Time

Stephen explains an easy way to see another episode of the show.
03/07/2007
04:54

The Colbert ReportS3
Mega Millions

Following a rare factual error, Stephen must apologize for some things he said after finding out that he did not, in fact, win the lottery.
03/07/2007
00:29

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 3/8/07

Stephen wants the judge in the Scooter Libby trial to apologize, and he can't wait to see Ted Koppel in the tank for shark week.
03/08/2007
07:01

The Colbert ReportS3
Ted Koppel

Ted Koppel suggests that Stephen reconsider prancing around in front of the audience.
03/08/2007
03:27

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Comic Justice

There are times when Captain America has gone against the government in order to do what he feels is right, and this time it got him killed.
03/08/2007
00:30

The Colbert ReportS3
Exclusive - Better Know a District - Kentucky's 3rd - John Yarmuth Pt. 1

Stephen asks Representative John Yarmuth if he's had a Cleveland Steamer.
03/08/2007
06:17

The Colbert ReportS3
Better Know a District - Kentucky's 3rd - John Yarmuth

Representative John Yarmuth knows how to dispose of kittens if you don't have a shovel or a garbage can.
03/08/2007
02:09

The Colbert ReportS3
Jesus Libby

The similarities between Jesus and Scooter Libby are startling.
03/08/2007
00:58

The Colbert ReportS3
Exclusive - Better Know a District - Kentucky's 3rd - John Yarmuth Pt. 2

Representative John Yarmuth gives Stephen some golfing tips.
03/08/2007
03:19

The Colbert ReportS3
Tip/Wag - U.S. Mint

Stephen wags his finger at the U.S. Mint and high school seniors and tips his hat to Duke University graduate John Cornwell.
03/12/2007
04:18

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Home Field Advantage

Stephen encourages countries like Congo and Sierra Leone to give America money first, so that we can one day help them solve their own problems.
03/12/2007
01:47

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Captain America Shield

Marvel Comics' Joe Quesada has bequeathed the shield of Captain America to the only man who has the red, white and blue balls to carry the mantle: Stephen Colbert.
03/12/2007
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